Needing To Let Go
by flutetenorsaxplayer2008
Summary: A/H Bella's parents die in a car crash, causing her half brothers Emmett and Jasper to come home to take care of her. Is Bella really alright? Will she ever be the same? What will the Cullens/Hales be able to help her cope? R
1. Tracks Of My Tears

**A/N: I am in the process of rewriting/overhauling this story, with the help of **sammigirl23**. She is amazing and very encouraging for me. Please stay tuned as I continue to replace these chapters with the corrections :)**

Bella POV:

Life was good.

Mom, Dad and I just got back from the local airport. We had said goodbye to one of my brothers, Jasper. Well, he was my half-brother, but he's my brother none-the-less. We all have the same Mom, but different dads. Emmett and Jasper barely remember their dads. Trevor was the only father they really ever knew. He was my biological father, and we actually got along really well. We'd never had any of those "I hate you" moments growing up.

Jasper and Emmett were older, I was almost sixteen, Jasper was eighteen, and Emmett was nearly twenty three years old. We lived in a small town in Kansas between Dodge City and Meade. It wasn't much of a town, but I liked to call it home, even if others didn't. I was involved in 4-H and showed rabbits, pigs, and horses.

"Bells, you better get down here and see this. I think Louise is about to give birth!" Dad yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Louise was our pet pig. I guess you could say I'm a sucker for a sob story. Ever since I saw 'Charlotte's Web' I had wanted a pet pig, and Louise was the perfect opportunity. She was the runt of the litter, though of course Mom wanted nothing to do with her.

I had convinced Mom and Dad to let me keep Louise. I promised that I would still pay attention to Thelma and Randy, my Australian Shepherd and Border Collie puppies. I found them on the side of the road one day. It's amazing how cruel some people can be when it comes to animals. I guess you could say that I'm like one of those animal activists, but I just think of it as being a caretaker of animals. I can't stand seeing an animal that has either been injured, abandoned or abused. I guess I got that from my Mom, she's been that way for as long as I can remember.

I ran downstairs, sliding around a corner to make sure that I didn't miss the birth. I was planning on trying to keep all the piglets, but I think that Mom and Dad had other ideas. Money was tight around here lately and since Dad lost his construction job, we really had to rely on the income the farm was bringing in. I would be able to keep Louise of course, but I was fairly sure Mom and Dad would want to sell the piglets.

"How's she doing Dad?" I was excited, I loved piglets. "She's getting close Bells! Why don't you go put Thelma and Randy outside so they don't harm the babies?" I let out an annoyed sigh. I hated that they thought I wasn't old enough to see the birth of my own pet pig, but I was old enough to help one of our horses give birth. Explain that logic!

I decided that I would take Rainbow out for a ride. She was my favorite of the five horses we boarded. That was one of the things I loved about this farm. I could ride Rainbow whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted. It was my stress reliever, and Rainbow was always a good listener.

_**A Few Days Later**_

It was time for school. I wanted to stay home and help Mom and Dad take some of the produce we had saved up to sell at the market. But Dad said I had to go. They wanted me to be able to go to college. I still thought that was a lame excuse to get me to go.

I walked down the long driveway to the road to wait on the bus. I was almost at the end, when I heard the sound of a diesel engine getting closer. I broke into a sprint to make sure I didn't miss it. I couldn't afford to miss school today. I had already been late three times, and one more would guarantee my being in after-school detention.

I was able to get to school on time, and didn't have to worry about any detentions; at least for today. The rest of the week, I wasn't sure. It wasn't that I didn't want to go to school, it was that I had so many chores to do before I went to school. Whenever Mom and Dad got a call from the school I never really got in too much trouble, because they understood why I was late.

They didn't like it, but they understood.

XxXxXxXxXx

School went by fast. It was raining when I left, which was weird; the weather channel had said that it was supposed to be sunny all day today. Oh well. I hurried off towards my specified bus and waited for everyone to load.

Once everyone was on, we were off. I decided to call Mom and Dad to ask how the piglets were. I was too excited to wait until I was home. I dialed Mom's cell first. It went straight to voicemail. That was understandable; Mom didn't know how to work her cell phone. Jasper and I had had to convince her that she needed one.

Dad was technology savvy, so there wasn't much to explain about his phone to him. I decided to call him next. Hmm, strange, his went to voicemail too. Maybe they were just both too busy to answer. I slipped my phone back in my pocket and looked out the bus window. I had always hated rainy days. They made Mom and I feel so depressed. We didn't know why, they just did.

_Sssscccccrrreeeeeecccccchhhh h!_

I cringed. They really needed to get new brakes for this bus. It sounded like the brakes could go at any second. But then that was how all the buses were that had to travel out into the country. Old, reliable, but noisy. I was let off the bus and saw that it was sprinkling a bit. A little rain wasn't too bad, I guess.

I walked along a long row of rather tall corn. It was about a few yards of dirt road to get to the house from where the bus dropped me off. There were days when I hated the long walk, but then there were days when I liekd to walk through the corn. I didn't get lost like some of my friends did if they tried to follow me. It was my way of letting them know that I needed to be alone. Nothing against them, sometimes I just wanted to go and think, and walking through the corn allowed me some alone time.

As I got closer to the house, I saw red and blue flashing lights. Wonder what was going on? I couldn't see any smoke, so surely there wasn't a fire.

I had just walked out of the corn field, when the police officer leaning against his car turned to look at me. His face showed both sadness and regret. Why would he look at me that way? Had something bad happened to Emmett or Jasper? Maybe Emmett pulled some kind of prank. He always did have a unique sense of humor. We'd had the police called to our house numerous times for what he called a 'joke'.

"Are you Miss Isabella Swan?" That was odd, no one called me by my first name, unless I was in trouble. I just nodded my head yes. "I think you're going to have to come with me." I was starting to get worried. "W-Why?"

"They'll explain everything when we get back to the station, sweetheart. But now you have to come with me." This definitely wasn't good, I knew that it wouldn't look good if I were to try and run away right now. Even though every part of me was screaming for me to run away, I decided to go with the police officer willingly.

It didn't take long to get to the station, but that may have been because my mind was preoccupied with what could possibly make the cops come and pick me up if I didn't even do anything wrong. Why did they have to take me away? Where were my parents?

"We're here, little lady. Now, is there anyone you can call that can come and pick you up?"

That was odd. Of course there was someone that could come and pick me up; Mom and Dad. Unless something was wrong with them that I didn't know about.

"There's m-my Mom and Dad...do you know something I don't know?"

He looked like he wanted to tell me, but he didn't. "If you know something that I don't, you got to let me officer!" I didn't want to yell, but I hated being treated like a child.

"Well little lady, do you want the truth straight, or sugar-coated?"

"Give it to me straight, officer."

"Your Mom and Dad were involved in a head-on collision. There was no way to avoid it. They were hit by a drunk driver. When help arrived on the scene, they had already passed on. The coroner confirmed that they died on impact, they didn't suffer. I'm so sorry for your loss."

What? I had just talked to them this morning. "Do you have anyone that you can stay with?"

No, both my Mom and Dad were only children, and my grandparents didn't live anywhere near me. I was old enough to care for myself. I knew that it was wrong to lie to a police officer, but both Jasper and Emmett would be home on their fall break this coming week, so I only had the weekend to be alone. Besides, I liked being alone.

"My brothers are going to be home this weekend. I'll be fine officer. Can you please take me home now?"

I know that I sounded calm, but on the inside I was a complete mess.

I now knew why it was raining. It was like what my Mom used to say. _'When it rains, angels are crying.'_ They weren't the only ones crying. I would join them when I got home. It was just didn't seem real.


	2. Coming Home to Disaster

**A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed and love this story, all of them made me smile, laugh. and now onto chapter 2.**

**Bella POV:**

They were gone.

My mom and dad were gone.

Nothing I could do would change that. The officer allowed me to go home, but wanted either Jasper or Emmett to call his desk whenever they got there. He didn't really like the idea of me home alone, but what he didn't know was that I wasn't going to be alone. I had the animals to take care of, especially Louise and her new litter.

Days had gone by and the phone calls came and went. It had been a whole week today that I was allowed back home. It was also the same day that Jasper and Emmett would arrive home. They had finals to finish, and didn't want to get an 'FW' whatever that meant in their classes.

I put on my socks and shoes and a jacket and headed outside to feed the horses and say hi to Rainbow. She was probably getting restless from not being ridden for over a week. I needed something new and exciting in my life right now.

Once I got outside I couldn't help but shiver. It was oddly cold for a late September morning.

After I fed the horses I walked over to Rainbow's stall and saw that she was impatiently waiting for me come to her stall. "Hi there girl, did you miss me?" I was met with a loud neigh and her stomping her hoof. "I'll take that as a yes." I said as I went to go get her blanket and saddle. When I went over to grab Rainbow's things I saw an old picture of mom and dad at a rodeo. That's where they met, dad was almost up when mom came and wished him good luck.

Apparently she was dared to go over to him, and not one to back down from a dare, she walked over and gave him a kiss for good luck. Ever since then they had been together, at least that's what happened for me. Unfortunately for Emmett and Jasper, their dad's walked out on mom when they were just out of diapers.

I put Rainbow's saddle on the fence and went back to get her. When I opened her stall I saw a note written in Mom's handwriting.

_Bells,  
Dad and I will probably be home late.  
Feel free to ride Rainbow as long as you want to; just make sure your homework's done.  
Love you bunches,_

_~Mom_

I started to tear up, but I willed myself to stop and grabbed Rainbow and walked her out to the corral. I tied her to the post and started putting the blanket on, but Rainbow must've been antsy because she made the blanket fall off and into the mud.

I stomped my foot and went back into the stable to find another, but I couldn't find any anywhere. I bent over to see if maybe they had fallen off when a sudden voice from behind me caused me to jump.

"Looking for this Bells?"

I turned to see that it was Jasper. I couldn't help myself and leaped into his arms. I always went to him when I was upset, he had an uncanny way of making me feel so much better when I was around him. He always knew how to comfort me, when mom couldn't.

"I missed you so much Jasper! I missed you." I started chanting quietly to myself quietly. I was trying to convince myself.

"Bells, why are you here alone? Where's mom and Trevor, and shouldn't you be in school?"

Oh my god, he didn't know. The officer told me that he was going to tell the both of them. I didn't know how to tell him. I mean, how do you tell your brother that your mom and dad are dead.

"Jazz, I don't know how to tell you this…"

"You're not failing school are you, because if you are mom and dad are going to kill you." Just the mention of the words 'mom' and 'dad' sent a searing pain through me, causing me to let out a barely audible gasp.

"Bells, is there something you aren't telling me?"

How was I suppose to tell him that mom and dad are d-dead? I could barely say the word, how would I be able to tell him.

"No Jazz, I'm not failing school, in fact I'm doing very well, but that's besides the point." I took a breath and exhaled.

"Jasper, mom and dad are dead. They died in a car accident." I waited for Jasper to respond, but his face was that of stone, he showed no expression whatsoever. Which even for him was a bit odd.

"J-Jasper? Please say something?"

"How long?"

"How long what?"

I didn't know what he was talking about, I was being sincere, but obviously he wasn't thinking clearly or something because the next thing I knew he blew up at me.

"How long had they been dead Bella?! You should've called me. Hell, I bet you didn't even call Emmett!" I couldn't help but cringe back from his words. I knew that I should've called, but I didn't want to have them so upset that they did poorly on their finals. Mom and dad wouldn't have wanted that, and I knew that Jasper knew that.

"Jasper, I know that I should've told you, but I didn't want the horrible news to affect your focus on your finals. You and I both know that mom and dad would've wanted you to do well."

He paused for a minute, and then his hard expression turned soft. The next thing I knew I was being pulled into a tight hug. "Bells, you're thoughtful to a fault. I could've asked for either an extension or something. "

"Speak for yourself Jazzy; some of us need all the study time we can get." I jumped at the sudden loud voice and saw that it was my other brother, Emmett. "A buddy of mine called me about mom and dad Bells, don't worry about it, I would've probably done the same thing. I mean we're family no matter what."

Jasper groaned and rolled his eyes. "I guess I agree with Em here, but Bells, don't keep something this important from us again, OK?" I just nodded my head and leaned back in for a hug. "Hey, don't leave me out of it." Emmett said as he came and hugged me from behind.

It was nice that we were all together again. I just wish it was under better circumstances. Something also came to me. We were always close; Jasper, Emmett and I, but this tragedy brought us closer than ever. I just hoped that nothing would come and ruin it all.

**A/N: so what did you all think? Sorry it took me awhile to update, I've been busy with school starting back up for me, and updating other stories (one of the many reasons for having 7 'in-progress' stories to update :P So please leave me your reviews! **

**If you want me to add something just let me know and I will highly consider it for a future chapter :) **


	3. You Have Some Explaining To Do!

**Bella POV:**

FLASHBACK:

"_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say our final goodbyes to our dear friends, Roxy and Trevor. They were a loving mother, a loving father, a friend, a brother, a sister. Trevor and Roxy meant a lot to a lot of people…"_

_I didn't want to be here. Mom and Dad wouldn't have liked all this attention on them. They were quiet people, and didn't want to draw attention to themselves. I guess you could say that that's where I got my want of anonymity from._

_I was still in shock that they were actually gone. I know that I should be past this stage, and be to acceptance, but I couldn't. I did not want to accept that, I couldn't accept that._

"…_And now Roxy's mother would like to say a few words."_

_I rolled my eyes; grandma wasn't around mom a whole lot to even give a decent eulogy. I looked to Jasper and Emmett and they apparently thought the same thing because Jasper looked as if he were in pain, and Emmett, Emmett had ear buds in his ears and had a concerned look on his face. Luckily since I was sitting in between the two of them I jerked out the ear buds from Emmett's ears. "Ow, Bella Marie! It's the middle of the third quarter; I gotta know how the team's doing without me."_

"_Ooo, what's the score?" I elbowed the both of them in the stomach. Now wasn't the time to worry about some dumb football game score right now. It was to honor our mom, and my dad. They both shut up after I elbowed them. Emmett even shut off his portable radio. They knew when I had had enough._

"_..Now would you all stand and join me in singing 'Go Rest High'" the minister said as he gestured to the projector screen that was above his head. _

_As the music started the words appeared on the screen. That way people wouldn't have to look through the hymnal to find the song._

_After that the service was over. Emmett, Jasper and I stayed behind with grandma and grandpa until the last possible minute. I suppose it was so we could say our personal goodbyes before we make our way to the cemetery._

_I opted to be the last person to say my goodbye. I didn't give a reason, and thankfully no one asked me why._

_Everyone had left, except Emmett and Jasper. I was actually very glad for that. "Mom…dad….I-I'm gonna miss you guys. I'll watch out for Jasper and Emmett for you mom. I know that had you worried." I said in a whisper, trying to fight back tears. "D-Dad, I'll look after the farm for you. I'll make sure to re-teach Emmett and Jasper the rules of the farm for you so they don't ruin it." I said as I touched his casket. I still can't believe they're gone. I know that I've been thinking that a lot lately, but I still can't come to terms with it._

_END FLASHBACK:_

"Bella, it's time for you to go to school, you can't miss any more school squirt!" Emmett said from outside my room. I had locked myself in my room since that day. It's been over a week. I was allowed to stay home for a week, but yesterday was my last day of being able to miss school without trouble. "Isabella Marie, you better get down here now, and eat your breakfast and get ready to go to school." I didn't make an effort to move. "Don't make me break the door down." I sat up; Emmett wouldn't really try to break down the door would he?

_TTTHHHUUUDDD!_

Ok, maybe I was wrong; I leaped out of bed and unlocked the door. "Jeez Emmett, give a girl some privacy please." I said in an annoyed tone.

I pushed past him to make my way downstairs. "God, Bells, you look like hell." I rolled my eyes. "Thanks Jazz, that's what every girl wants to hear from their brothers in the morning when they first wake up." I said with a lot of sarcasm, and Jasper held his hands up in mock defense. "Someone's cranky this morning."

I ignored his comment and made my way to the cabinet to see what cereal we had; I didn't feel like making an actual breakfast. I finally found a box half full of Cookie Crisp and had myself a bowl.

Jasper checked the time on his watch and told me that I had about fifteen minutes to get changed and ready for school. I shoveled the bit of my cereal down my throat and hurried upstairs and changed into a plain t shirt and 'stressed' denim jeans. I slipped on my black and white chucks and as I finished tying my shoes I could hear the bus coming down the road.

"Bells, bus is almost here!" Jasper and Emmett yelled up to me in unison. They were my brothers and I loved them, but they could be so annoying at times. As I ran out the front door I grabbed my camouflage backpack and ran down the dirt driveway towards the main road. I saw the yellow bus coming down the road, and turned to look once more at the house behind me, the house that held so many memories.

I did the only thing that came naturally to me at a moment like this. I made a break for it into the corn fields. I ran straight for as long as I could. When I finally was out of the field I saw that I was at the fence that held the horses in the pen. I searched for Rainbow, until I finally found her; she was down further away from the house. I made sure that neither Jasper nor Emmett could see me from the house and made a break for it. I hopped the fence and hopped onto Rainbow and nudged her into a gallop.

We went on for what felt like hours until we came across a secluded creek, but it was beautiful scenery. I could see mountains, a lot of them to be exact. I hopped off rainbow and tied her reigns to the branch of the closest tree. I plopped down on the ground and took in my surroundings. Off in the distance I could hear birds chirping, all different kinds of animals.

I knew that I should be in school right now, but I still didn't think I was ready to go back. I didn't care what Jasper and Emmett thought, I wanted to take time to heal, in the time that _I_ wanted, and I didn't care what others thought. Yes, I know that that sounds horrible, but that's how I felt now a days. I really didn't care what people thought about what I did any more.

All of a sudden, in the thick silence my phone started vibrating in my pocket. It was a text message from a girl at school.

_From: Jenifer_

_Bella, I wanted to say my prayers go out to you and your brothers. Please know that my family and I are keeping you in our prayers._

I flipped my phone shut. I hated that the whole school had to know about what happened, but then that's what we get for living in a small town.

After sitting in this beautiful spot for hours upon hours I decided to explore some more. I hopped on Rainbow and trotted off past the creek. What I saw next shocked me. It was a herd of wild mustangs gathered together. I wanted so badly to go and check them out, but I didn't want to spook them and allow them to harm Rainbow.

I was smart enough to set my alarm for when it got close for the bus to pass by the house. I checked my phone and I had about fifteen minutes to get Rainbow back in the pasture, and run through the corn field and get back down the dirt path and pretend like I actually went to school today.

I was able to get Rainbow back inside and I raced back through the corn field and saw the bus pass by the driveway. I took a minute to catch my breath and slowly walked down the dirt road towards home so I could catch my breath.

I was in front of the house when I saw both Emmett and Jasper standing on the front porch with their arms across their chest. I stopped dead in my tracks. In the back of my head I was hoping to god that they didn't know that I had skipped school.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Why in the hell did you skip school today?!" Emmett said, but what made it worse was that Jasper was just staring at me, and not his normal stare, it was a 'disappointed' stare. The kind of stare that made you feel so uncomfortable.

I hoped that they would go easy on me when we got inside.

**A/N: ok so I am SOOOOOOO sorry for not updating sooner, I just had major writer's block for this chapter, and thanks go to **crystal the optimist** for some great ideas for later chapters :D they really helped me. I am going to update when I get at least ten reviews, but don't worry I will most likely update anyway if you don't review ;) lol**


	4. My Name Isn't Bella, It's Izzy!

**Bella POV:**

I had been under the watchful eyes of my brothers ever since my parents passed away months back. I still couldn't quite grasp that they were gone, something in me thought that they were still alive and well somewhere, but then another part of me was telling me that I was foolish for even thinking that way.

"Bella Marie! You better get your ass downstairs now if you want to catch a ride with Emmett and me!" Jasper yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I was no longer able to rely on the bus; I would have to ride with either Emmett or Jasper into town and they would personally drop me off at school to make sure that I continued to go.

I knew that Rainbow would miss me riding her, but I didn't want my brothers mad at me. Plus, I knew that mom and dad would be upset if they knew that I was skipping school for no 'good' reason.

I muttered some unnecessary choice words as I continued to get ready. I decided to go with a 'simple' look today. I would wear a green t shirt, and some old worn blue jeans and a simple pair of black and white chucks.

I hurried down the stairs, and on the way out I grabbed a granola bar to snack on while I was in the truck going to school.

"So you think you will actually stay in school today Bella?" Emmett said as he revved the engine to life. I rolled my eyes and chose not to say a word to him. I knew that what I wanted to say wouldn't fly with him, and I would regret it later. Now, it wasn't anything like abuse or something, I would just be grounded for a long period of time from riding Rainbow, and I didn't want that to happen, she was my escape. Rainbow helped me cope with what was going on.

"So are you even going to say a word to me Bells?" I didn't answer, it wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him; I just had nothing too exciting to tell him.

"Well if you don't have anything to say, then you won't mind me talking about sports." I internally cringed, he knew my weakness. When Emmett would talk about sports I wanted to carve my ear drums out with a rusty spoon. I liked sports as much as the next person, but my brother was more obsessed with it than anyone I had ever come into contact with.

Thankfully though, we reached school before he could get too much into detail over how Kansas was defeated in the college basketball tournament.

"So the evil child finally returns?" I heard a random person shout out to me as I made my way into my own personal hell. Ever since I had skipped so many days, rumors apparently started to form about why I didn't show.

Some people said that I joined a cult; some even went so far as to say that I got pregnant and had to stay 'locked up'. One that really upset me the most was that some people that that I had magical powers and cast a spell over my parents to cause the wreck. I mean they had the audacity to even think that I wanted my own parents, who I loved and cared for deeply, dead. I couldn't even bare to dwell on that.

"Bella, I'm so glad that you're finally back at school, I and my friends have been praying that you'd return to school. I mean, you can't stay at home and hide from your problems forever." I knew that this Jennifer chick meant well, but she needed work on her choice of words. She made it sound like I was hiding from the truth, when I really wasn't hiding, I knew what happened, and I knew that I couldn't 'hide' forever, I just wanted a place that was all my own and that I could be myself and grieve in my own way and not have everyone and their brother know my personal business.

Classes went slow, and it didn't help that I continued to be stared at walking through the halls. Thankfully though I was able to find my hoodie in my locker and put that on with the hood over my head to hide my view from people so I couldn't see all the sour looks and stares.

"_Isn't that Isabella, the girl who's parents died a in car crash?"_

"_Yea, I heard that she was the cause of the accident."_

"_Well, I heard that she arranged for the car crash to happen."_

"_I heard that she practices witchcraft up in their attic, and her parent's death was a sacrifice to her 'master'."_

I couldn't take anymore. I had to get out of here. Everyone had the story completely wrong. The day it happened, I was at school, everyone knew this. Why were all these crazy rumors starting? Better question, who was starting these rumors?

Then it came to me, only one person could be doing this to me, and that was none other than my ex-best friend, Heidi. We were best friends growing up. We had sleepovers together, we'd ride my horses, and do almost everything together. It got to the point where some people thought we were related. Even our parents teased us about that.

We were about to start seventh grade, and Heidi and I decided to try-out for cheerleading. We made a pact that if one of didn't make it, then neither one of would be on the squad. Well, me being uncoordinated , I didn't make the squad. But Heidi did, and instead of staying with the pact we made, she decided to stay on the squad.

Our friendship went downhill from there. Over time we grew to hate each other, and became 'arch enemies' you could say. It was mainly Heidi that made my life a living hell, her new cheerleading friends would just go along with what she said, like her own 'clones'. I hated that we grew apart, but she decided to do something that we made a pact not to do, we would be best friends forever, and she went and threw it all away.

"Well if it isn't 'Miss Tardy to the Party' herself. Why did you even show up to school today? I mean, what aren't you practically failing all your classes this semester?" Heidi sneered at me as I crossed her path, I had apparently not paid attention to where I was walking, because I always made it an effort to avoid her at all costs.

"At least I don't have to put other people down to feel good about myself Heidi." I said in a straight forward tone. I was sick of her crap, and wanted to let her know that. I don't know where my sudden spark of courage came from, but I was going to embrace it.

"Ooo really good comeback Isabella, you really got me good." Heidi said as she walked off with her little minions following close behind her. I still cannot believe that we were ever friends, you wouldn't believe it if I told you that either.

"So, I heard you stand up to that bitch Heidi, props to you chick. I'm fairly new here and I can barely stand her. Oh by the name's Stacey, but you can call me Raven, all my friends do." I turned to see a girl with jet black hair and a single bright green chunk of hair. She had dark clothing on along with dark lip stick. Now if I were one to judge, I'd label her as a 'creepy goth chick' but something about her made me feel drawn to her. Maybe it had to do with how we both didn't really fit in here, well I did at one time, but was shunned when news got out that my parents died. Especially since there was no concrete story as to what caused the crash.

"So does that mean we're like friends now or something?" I said, I knew that it was stupid to ask, but I didn't have very many friends anymore, I took what I could get. I knew that that sounded petty, but I liked being around people, and Heidi made that almost impossible for me to do so.

"Of course Izzy, you don't mind if I call you that do you?"

"_Izzy?_"

I liked that nickname, it was different, and I could start a whole new persona .

"Do you smoke?"

"Uh, no not really."

"Do you want to try?" I should say no, but that was Bella, the chicken that played by the rules, and Izzy was the one who could stand up to anyone, and try anything.

I thought about it some more and said, "Sure." Raven's eyes brightened and she motioned for me to follow her outside and towards the back of the school. I knew this part of the school, this is where some of the 'tougher' kids hung out and skipped classes. Something told me to say I had a change of mind, but that's nothing the new me, Izzy, would do. I kept on walking.

"Here ya go." Raven said as she handed me a lit cigarette. I took a puff and coughed at first, but doing something that I could get into trouble doing made me feel…_Alive!_

* * *

**A/N: so what do you think? I'm having Bella aka Izzy start to 'go bad'…this will lead to her and her brothers' getting into trouble as well too…not saying what because I have to keep some stuff a secret, hope to hear from you in your reviews, so until then TTFN :D**


	5. Rent Is Due

**A/N: She lives!! Lol I am so sorry I didn't update sooner, I've been so busy with school lately I finally have some downtime to update my stories…so hope you've enjoyed it so for, and hope you enjoy the chapters soon to come :) This story is somewhat complicated to write, but I think I have a handle on it now and I hope you enjoy.**

**Bella POV:**

A few more months passed, and things have been going great with Raven and her crew. I now knew all the hot spots to hang out and where all the places to get cigarettes cheap and still pretty good quality. Raven and them all drank, but that's where I drew the line. I wouldn't touch the stuff; to me it didn't look all that appetizing.

"Izzy, do you want to take a turn at a cigarette?"

I nodded in agreement and took the small cigarette and took a drag of it. I had gotten quite used to smoking between classes, and it got to the point that I would miss a class or two. And I had figured a way to keep up my smoking and all the while still getting by in school. I guess you could say that I was starting to take to Raven's lifestyle rather fast, and I actually welcomed it with open arms.

"Shit, teacher's coming everyone scatter." Jackson said while peering over the brick wall that we usually hid behind. Everyone in the group rotated taking turns being the look-out to make sure that if a teacher came by we ran and acted as if we were going on a group errand. Ironically enough, the teachers here never really caught on to what we were doing, which made it all the more fun.

Once we were sure that the coast was clear Jackson, Raven, Emily, Kaleb and I hurried back off to our hideout.

"Shit, that was a close one Emi."

"You're telling me Rae, Mrs. Jennings is already suspicious of Kaleb and I, and seeing the five of us together probably set off her radar." Emily and Kaleb had just recently started dating, but the two of them has liked them for as long as I could remember. I think it was Emily who finally made the first move and asked Kaleb to go see a movie that was playing down at the local movie theater.

"I guess that means we have to go back to class." I said. I may be 'Izzy', but Izzy knew when to give up and go back to class so we wouldn't get into trouble.

"Yea, guess Izz is right. I gotta catch up on the research paper Miss Shelby assigned us." Jackson said. Jackson and Kaleb had her, and Emily and I had her next period, so I guess that's what we had to look forward to. Raven on the other hand had an art class to look forward. Raven was actually very talented. She even sketched portraits of all of us. They were so amazing and looked so life like that it was almost scary.

We all said our goodbyes and went our separate ways to our respectful classes. Emily and I snuck in while our teacher's back was turned and we got to our desks that were closest to the door. Mr. Landry didn't even notice that we came in over twenty minutes late to class. Mr. Landry taught Algebra II, and it was so boring it wasn't even funny.

Emily and I snickered at that, see, Mr. Landry was almost eighty-five and his vision was fading even with the thick glasses he was prescribed. The principal and superintendent tried to reason with him and give him a worthy retirement plan, but Mr. Landerby loves to teach, even if he can't see or hear very well anymore. I sort of felt kind of bad for skipping his class, but then again, I loved spending time with Raven and the gang. Besides, it wasn't like I was allowed to hang with them outside of school seeing as I was grounded for the rest of my existence it seemed for cutting school.

"Now class, we are about to go over our quiz, please exchange your homework with someone close by you." Of course, Emily and I switched papers and started grading our tests.

"Ok class, write the score that your classmate got out of sixty-five and pass them forward." Whoa, where did the time go? I just lost focus for a few seconds, and I completely forgot to grade Emily test. Thankfully, I was rather good in math, I quickly checked if she had gotten the answers correct. She only missed five out of the sixty-five possible. I circled the score and quickly passed it up.

"How'd I do Izzy?"

"You only missed five." I said with a sincere smile. "Tell me the damage Emi." I said as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Bells, did you even study for the quiz? You about flunked the test. You got a seventy-eight percent."

I smacked my forehead. I remembered that was the day that Emmett, Jazz and I had to fill out all the thank you cards for coming to mom and dad's funeral. My mind wasn't fully there that day, but then when I thought about them, it never really was.

But then thankfully I still passed. I was put in the accelerated program, mom's doing, and to pass we have to keep a C average. And failing a test wasn't an option to keep that average to stay in the program. I never really thought I was any good to stay in the accelerated program, but mom insisted that I stay in it; it would look good on college applications. I didn't even know if college would be a possible option, considering the fact that Emmett and Jasper were having problems keeping up with the bills and the utilities. Sad thing was that Jasper and Emmett didn't know that I knew. I overheard them discussing it rather loudly in the kitchen. I was hiding out on the stairs outside the kitchen.

"Isabella, perhaps you would like to teach the class since you're so bored with the way I happen to teach the class. I snapped out of thoughts and locked eyes with the teacher and quickly shook my head no. Bella was chicken, but on the inside, Izzy was more than happy to teach the class for a change.

"Then you wouldn't mind paying attention would you?" I shook my head no. and Mr. Landry continued to lecture over whatever he seemed to drone on and on about. Thankfully a few seconds later the bell rang and I was off to Miss Shelby's class with Emily.

"Bella, can I see you for a second?" Mr. Landry said as he took a seat behind his desk. "Yes, Mr. Landry?"

"Bella, you are one of my brightest students, your test scores prove that, but why aren't you doing your homework, and barely passing your quizzes? Be honest Bella." Crap, he had me caught. I would have to think of something on the spot. "Well, to me the homework just seems tedious and the quizzes are almost as bad, and to me, the tests are the most important thing."

Mr. Landry nodded his head the entire time I reasoned my actions. "I see…You know that I am required to give out homework Bella, and I can't play favorites-"

"And I don't expect you to Mr. Landry. Can I go to my next class now?" Mr. Landry just nodded his head and I hurried off to catch up with Emily and everyone before we had to go our separate ways. "She lives! So…what did Lander want anyway Izzy?"

"Aw nothing, just giving a lecture on how I need to do better in his class and stuff like that." I knew that I wasn't telling the complete truth, but then what went on was really my business and no one else's. "Landry can be such a douche sometimes, huh?" I nodded my head as I rolled my eyes to add to the act.

_RRRIIINNNGGG!!!_

That was the warning bell to let the school know the final class of the day was about to start. Emily and I hurried off to academic English.

Surprisingly enough English went rather fast and I trudged my way to bus number twenty. Kaleb rode my bus too so ended up sitting with him.

"So how are you and the older brothers doing? Mom heard a rumor going around that you're close to losing your house. Why didn't you tell us?! We could've helped." I was stunned. I didn't know this, so how did Kaleb know this?! Did the whole town know this?! "You didn't know?" Apparently my face gave me away. I slowly shook my head no. "I knew that they were behind on paying some bills, but I didn't know that we were close to losing the house." I said in a straightforward tone.

Kaleb just shook his head. "Yea, mom works at the bank and she heard some people gossiping about it. I'm just telling you what my mom heard. So don't shoot the messenger." I just shook my head this was all too complicated. Why did mom and dad have to die? Yea I know that we were barely making ends meet, but at least we weren't close to losing the house.

But before I knew it my stop was here. I said goodbye to Kaleb, gathered my things and walked off the bus. I walked up the dirt path and from outside the front porch steps I could hear Emmett and Jasper arguing rather loudly about something to do with the bills. I sighed and plopped down on the steps and just reclined looking up to the partly cloudy sky.

_I wonder if mom and dad are watching down on us right now. Are they disappointed? Do they know that we're close to losing the house?_

"Excuse me; you might not remember me, but my name's Charlie, Charlie Swan. I was your father's brother." I was snapped out of my thoughts and sat up straight. _He was my uncle?! _If this was true, how come I hadn't heard anything about him before now?

"Um, not to be rude, but how do I even know you're really who you say you are?"

The man who called himself Charlie just chuckled. He looked like my dad, he had dark brown hair like dad, but dad didn't have a moustache like Charlie did. May be he _was_ my dad's brother.

"Your father's name is Trevor right? Well, he and I haven't really talked much after our parents got divorced. We were both older and out of the house, but Trevor, well, he wanted to go off and 'find himself' somewhere away from Forks. He never did like the quietness of the town."

That last part really didn't make sense to me, why would dad go from one small quiet town to another? But then Myersville wasn't all that far away from Kansas City either (a/n: FYI this is a made up town in Kansas) so I guess I could see why dad decided to come here. I also remember him telling me that he always wanted to work on a farm and 'live off the land'.

"That's not what he told me; he told me that he always wanted to work on a farm and 'live off the land'. So the quietness maybe true, but he never mentioned that to me." I made sure to not sound like a snob whatsoever, mom taught me never to act like that not even if you _really_ wanted to. "That's sounds like Trevor." Charlie said with a chuckle. "He always spent a lot of time down at the La Push Reservation with the 'Rez kids' when we were growing up." _'Rez kids'?_ What did he mean? "Oh sorry, 'Rez kids is a term that some of the kids used for the kids on the reservation growing up." I just slowly nodded my head.

"Hey! Who are you, and why are you talking to our little sister?!" I jumped a bit where I was sitting and turned my head to see Emmett and Jasper standing on either side of me. I smacked my forehead; Emmett and Jasper were too protective for their own good. "Emm, Jazz, relax, this is Charlie Swan, he's my dad's brother. Sorry about them, they're my older protective brothers"

"_You're dad?_ I thought you just said that they were your brothers. Aren't they Trevor's kids too?" Charlie said with a confused expression across his face. I looked back to Emmett and Jasper and decided to let Charlie in on the full story.

"They are my brothers, my _half_ brothers. We have the same mother, but Trevor isn't their father. Trevor treated them as his own and helped our mom raise us all. Also, Emmett and Jasper, they have different fathers too. Both of their fathers skipped out when they found out she was pregnant with them." I added more detail for him, so that he would understand the current living situation we had going on. Jasper even went on to tell them how he and Emmett left college to try and help out with raising me. I was nearly sixteen; I really didn't need all that help, and hearing Jasper say that made me feel ever the more responsible. It was mom's dream to see all her kids off to college and with good-paying jobs to make a decent living and I felt as if I were holding them back.

"That is a touching story, and I'm so sorry that you all had to go through this at such an early age. If it helps any I just heard about their passing a few weeks ago." Charlie said with a saddened tone in his voice. Even though he wasn't showing and sadness, he didn't need to, I could see it in his eyes.

"Do you want to come in and relax a bit? I'm sure you've traveled a long way." I offered as I ushered him past Emmett and Jasper and into the house, and just as we got to the doorway a mail carrier walked up the dirt road with a handful of mail. "Here ya go fellas, hope it's good news this time." _This time?? _ You mean that Kaleb's mother right?! They were behind on their payments?

"What did he mean guys? What did he mean by 'this time'?" I said in a stern tone. I was in no mood to hear their excuses, and I could tell that they knew this as well. They looked at each other, and then Jasper decided to speak up. "We…are….maybe…a little behind in our bills and utility payments." He said while blushing. Jasper only blushed when he was in trouble; mom always said that that's how she could tell when he was lying.

"How much is _a little _Jazz." I said in an annoyed tone. I was growing tired of this little game. "We may be behind…a few months." Jasper said as he took cover behind Emmett. I was stunned. This has been going on longer than I had originally thought we would have to do something.

"When were you going to tell me?! When we were living on the streets?! Or when they came and kicked us out of our home?!"  
"Bells, easy, calm down; we'll fix this we promise."

I hoped to god that Jasper and Emmett fixed this problem, because I don't think that we would want to live on the street.

**A/N: so what did you think? Let me know what your thoughts are on this chapter and I hope to hear from you. I think I want at least 10 reviews for the next chapter.**


	6. Night On The Town

**A/N: OK, sorry i took so long to update, but i got so busy with finals, and this term won't be any different, but i will have more time to write and update, i just have to find time to balance school and this, so please bare with me, but until then here is the next chapter of **_Never Letting Go_

"_Bella Marie Swan! You don't need a job, you have one already, and it's called 'going to school! And once you've completed that, you're off to college!" _

I sighed as the memory slowly faded from my mind. I could feel myself start to tear up thinking of all the good times my mom, dad and I had together. I mean, yes, I still had Emmett and Jasper, but by the time 'my' dad came along, Jasper and Emmett were already out of diapers and in kindergarten.

I still find myself crying myself to sleep every once in a while thinking about them. But then I think I'll always feel some sort of emptiness, which is what I felt when Charlie had to go back to Washington. It was kinda refreshing to have some sort of 'father figure' in the house again, even if it was only for a few days. I especially liked that Emmett and Jasper were able to stay on top of paying the bills, which meant having to get jobs. Jasper worked at the local grocery store, and tutored part time with math and history. Emmett worked, of course, at the Sports store in the center of town. They also had to do a lot of the farm work as well. Well, Emmett still had problems getting milk from daisy, our dairy cow. I know that Cows aren't typically seen as 'family pets', but I made an exception with daisy. When Emmett finally got fed up with her, he deiced to go and move on to feed the other animals, and I went to take over for him.

We had about maybe twenty chickens, like three pigs, five sheep, about fifteen Ayrshire cows, and one HUGE bull that had its own pen for many reasons.

Jasper didn't even go near Daisy anymore. It was a long time ago, and Daisy had just given birth to her calf, and he made the mistake of getting between her and the baby. Well let's just say that Jasper had problems sitting for the next couple of days.

"Easy girl, looks like you need 'a woman's touch'." I said as I slowly sat down on the low wooden stool. I made sure that my hands weren't cold. That had been Emmett's mistake many times before, so you'd think that he would've learned by now, but I suppose he still needs time to learn.

Just as I started milking Rocket, our half-brained rooster came scurrying in while chasing one of the hens around the barn. Thankfully Daisy was used to all of Rocket's antics that his running around and crowing didn't faze her at all.

"Rocket, leave the girls alone, you little pervert!" I yelled over my shoulder as I was finishing out with Daisy all the while trying not to burst out laughing.

"What if Rocket's just trying to get some?" I rolled my eyes at Emmett's comment. Only _he_ would side with the 'horny' little rooster.

"Only you would side with a _bird_ Emmet. So what do you want?"

"Can't your older brother come and talk to his favorite little sister?" Ok, now I know he wanted something from me. I knew this mainly because I'm his _only_ sister.

"Emmett, I'm your only sister." I said matter-of-factly.

"Which is why you're my favorite." Emmett said with a big grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes as I put the wooden stool away, and I couldn't help but laugh thought because the way Emmett was trying to butter me up was the same thing he used to do with mom and dad.

"What do you want Emmett? I'm finishing the chores _you_ were supposed to do."

"Well seeing as how you're pretending to be the 'mother of the house' right now, I would like to ask permission to take Sally Mae out tonight…please?" Emmett begged. I couldn't help it, but I let out an annoyed sigh. Not just because he was asking me, but that he's saying that I act like their mother. I mean, if I don't then how will we get all the chores that need to be done done? 0He even tried to sway me by getting on his knees and clasping his hands together.

He kept repeating 'please' over and over again that I couldn't help but start to burst out in laughter; something that he was very good at. I can remember when I was so sad and depressed when my first horse, Skittles got colic it was so bad that the stomach had ruptured. We later found out that Skittles had eaten so much food that her stomach ruptured. We had no clue, and when I went to go take her for her afternoon ride I saw her on the ground in her stall, which is a big red flag because that means that the horse isn't feeling good at all. Emmett kept saying stupid stuff and tickling me until I smiled.

"Ok, ok, ok," I said while trying to catch my breath from laughing so hard "you can go out, but be back by midnight." I said then stuck out my tongue. Emmett quickly got up off his knees and nearly tackled me to the ground when he grabbed me in a bear hug. "Thanks Bells, both Sally and I thank you actually." As he rushed out he passed Jasper and nearly knocked him down, mainly to do with the fact that Jasper was carrying in two hay bales at one time. I rushed over to try and help steady him.

"Where's Emmett going in such an all fire hurry, he's got chores to do too, that's part of the deal!"

"Well he kind of quilted me into doing the rest of his chores so he could go on a date with Sally Mae, whoever that is."

"Figures, let me guess," Jasper said as he started stacking the bales. ", he used the 'favorite sister' excuse didn't he." Jasper said as he finished stacking the last bale of hay.

"SO it's just you, me, and the animals tonight Bells?"

"Jeez, don't sound so exited Jazz." I said sarcastically while I smiled widely to let him know I was jerking his chain. "Didn't mean it as mean as it sounded Bella, sorry." Jasper aid sincerely. I let out a sigh, he really needs to learn to relax, and to take a joke more. " I was kidding too Jazz, you can relax now." As soon as I said that I could tell that he was happy I wasn't really mad. "So what do you want for dinner? He asked as we walked back towards the house. I wanted to cook something so I wouldn't have to go out and get something, but as if on cue my cell phone started to buzz.

_Raven" Hey Izz, you wanna hang tonight? We miss your face!_

_Bella: I miss your guyz faces too! Hang where?_

_Raven: a new band's playin 2nite at the coffee house u shld come!_

_Bella: Sounds good. Be there asap!_

I snapped my phone shut and groaned. I remembered that Jasper and I were going to spend some much needed _bonding time_. He may seem all cool and nonchalant, but there was more to him than what meets the eye, but there was more to him than that, but instead of dwelling on him and his problems. I decided to side with _Izzy_ and do what I wanted to do instead.

I guess you could say that I was fed up with making sure that everyone else was happy and take care of. Screw that, it was time that I do what _I _want for a change.

_Bella: Hey cn u and Jackson stop by and pik me up?_

_Raven: sure, be there in 5_

I got caught up in texting Raven that I didn't realize that Jasper kept walking to the house. So I quickly walked back towards the house. As soon as I got inside I was overwhelmed by the aroma of macaroni and cheese and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Hey Bella, what do you want? I got mac and cheese cookin', got some of mom's famous meatloaf, and if you don't want any of that I can make spaghetti since I know that it's practically your favorite dish."

Ok, now I felt bad. Here I was about to go and ditch my own brother and go hang with friends. I mean if he and I weren't going to do anything tonight I probably wouldn't have felt so bad. "I-I'm not feeling too good, I think I'm going to head to bed." I mentally smacked myself, I could not believe that I went ahead and lied to him. I never in my entire life lied to anyone like I lied to Jazz.

Now the scary thought I had was that it felt so easy and invigorating to do something like that. While I contemplating what went on a few seconds ago I walked upstairs leaving Jasper with all the cooked food. I got to my room and changed out of my clothes that I had gotten dirty from doing Emmett's chores and into some 'normal' clothes. If I was going to sneak out, I was going to do it in style. Then I remembered that if I was going to sneak out, I was going to have to make it seem as if I were still asleep and tucked in my bed. Then something in the corner of my room caught my eye.

I saw a life-sized, when I was six, Barbie doll. It had the same hair color as me even so I quickly grabbed it and slammed it in my bed and covered it up and propped it up to where the face was facing away from the door. Just then I saw headlights start to appear and stop a few feet from the gravel driveway. Thankfully Jasper couldn't see them due to the tall corn field.

I opened my window and carefully made it down onto the roof. Sadly though my window was right above the living room picture window, so I had to carefully scoot across the roof under my window towards the space where there were no windows below. I slid off and nearly lost my footing, but thankfully there was a tree below that broke my near fall. Once I was in the tree I climbed down, thank god I used to climb up these for fun when I was younger, and once I got down I nearly kissed the sacred ground where I belonged. I looked around to make sure that no one was nearby to see me slink off thought the corn towards Jackson's car. After a few minutes I was in front of his car and I got into the back seat and he sped off. "Your brother know you're gone Izz?" I sighed and shook my head no. "That was very gutsy Izz, very gutsy. Didn't know that you would take to the 'rebel' lifestyle so well, but you did."I couldn't help but smile at Raven's comment. But I did agree with her, I changed so much since I started hanging out with them, but it was all good change. I was more independent, more sure of myself, and not afraid to take risks anymore.

Before I knew it we made it to the coffee house and I saw Emily and Kaleb sitting out front on a wooden bench, and Emily was leaning against Kaleb's shoulder. They were so cute together that it was almost sickening.

"Ok, looks like we're here." Jackson said as he put the clunky car in park then we all climbed out. As soon as we got out Emily rushed over to me and gave me a huge hug. "Oh I've missed you so much Bella! It's been so boring without you." Raven faked being offended. I could tell that she really knew what Emily meant and felt the same way. "Sorry guys, I've just been busy trying to keep up with the chores around the farm, and making sure my older brothers keep up on paying the bills on time." From some reason when I was around them I felt comfortable telling them what was really going on in my life. I didn't have to put on a show around them. I could just be me, or in this case, be _Izzy_.

"Hey, let's get inside. I heard we don't want to miss this awesome band." Kaleb was right and so we headed in and got a table that was center to the stage and pretty close to the stage, but not to the point where we were practically in their lap.

The band came on and the song they opened with made me want to gag. Not because it was bad, but because it was a love ballad. They were singing _'Unchained Melody'_ and not badly they were actually pretty good, I just felt so out of place because all these couples around me were snuggling up close to each other, kissing and making out at their tables. I was so glad that my friends weren't like that, but I spoke too soon because Raven and Jackson were busy playing tonsil hockey with each other and Emily and Kaleb were busy cuddling close together. I decided to get out of this love fest and successfully made it outside. When I got outside I saw that the sun had already set and the street lights were already on full capacity. I looked up at the sky and saw that there wasn't a moon out tonight, there weren't any clouds, so that could only mean that it was a new moon tonight.

"Izzy, what are you doin out here? The band was just getting good." I let out a sigh and turned to see Raven standing next to the bench. "Eh, the song wasn't my style Rae, I'll just sit out here…" I hated that I sucked at lying, especially in a time like this. Raven just stared at me with a sly grin on her face.

Just then Jackson, Kaleb, and Emily came out too, and Emily came to sit down beside me and took me into a hug. "Izz, your our friend too, so if you're not having fun you can tell us." I couldn't help but smile at Emily's successful attempt to make me feel better.

"Hey I have an idea, do you guys wanna sneak into the old Calloway house? I hear that it's haunted!" Ok, I know that we're in high school and shouldn't believe in little kid stories, but this was something that would be kind of cool to see.

We all were in agreement and we made our way towards the outskirts of town and up a dirt road. The house was something out of a vintage horror movie. The house looked as if it needed a new coat of paint, new shutters, and the shrubs needed to be tended to.

After opening the metal wooden gate that sounded as if it hadn't been oiled in a while we snuck in through an open side window. Jackson went first and helped all of us in. Once we were in, Jackson tried to turn on a nearby lamp, but nothing happened. "Looks like someone forgot to pay their electricity bill on time." We rolled our eyes at Kaleb's attempt to make a joke. "Now isn't the time babe." Emily said as we took in the scene before us. The furniture in this room looked as if it has been here since the early nineteen hundreds.

I decided to see what the rooms looked like upstairs. I carefully made my way to the stairs. The first step was a little squeaky, but the next few were a little iffy, because halfway up one step gave way and I nearly fell through. I quickly grabbed ahold of the banister, but that was slowly starting to crack. "Uh, guys, a little help please!" I yelled as I struggled to keep myself from falling down to what looked like the basement. There wasn't anything I could see that would break my fall either. Jackson and Kaleb were the first to reach me, but just before they got there more of the step where I was holding onto start to crack. _Ok, now would be a good time to panic!_ I thought to myself. I must've showed my anxiety because both Jackson and Raven were telling me to relax and that they would help me.

"Izz, give me and Kaleb your hand, and we'll pull you up." Ok, easier said than done, but I carefully gave my hand to Kaleb first then slowly reached over to give Jackson my other hand, but just as our fingertips reached the step I had previously held fell through scaring me and I slipped down. I heard Emily let out a terrified shriek, but thankfully Jackson reached down and pulled me up. Finally, they pulled me out of the dark abyss and back into the house.

Jackson and Kaleb helped me down the stairs rather quickly and let me catch my breath. I had just regained myself when Emily nearly knocked me down in a big bear hug. "Oh my god, I thought you were going to fall through and get hurt! Thank goodness you're alright!"

"Uh, Em, I'm fine, but i…kinda need to breathe.." I said in between gasps of air. She quickly let me go and blushed a deep shade of crimson. "Let's get out of here before someone else gets hurt." And just as Raven suggested the best thing all night, red and blue lights illuminated the frayed curtains.

Well so much for a 'fun night on the town'.


	7. Conflicted Feelings

_"Izz, give me and Kaleb your hand, and we'll pull you up." Ok, easier said than done, but I carefully gave my hand to Kaleb first then slowly reached over to give Jackson my other hand, but just as our fingertips reached the step I had previously held fell through scaring me and I slipped down. I heard Emily let out a terrified shriek, but thankfully Jackson reached down and pulled me up. Finally, they pulled me out of the dark abyss and back into the house._

_Jackson and Kaleb helped me down the stairs rather quickly and let me catch my breath. I had just regained myself when Emily nearly knocked me down in a big bear hug. "Oh my god, I thought you were going to fall through and get hurt! Thank goodness you're alright!"_

_"Uh, Em, I'm fine, but i…kinda need to breathe.." I said in between gasps of air. She quickly let me go and blushed a deep shade of crimson. "Let's get out of here before someone else gets hurt." And just as Raven suggested the best thing all night, red and blue lights illuminated the frayed curtains.__Well so much for a 'fun night on the town'._I was going to be in so much trouble. Raven, Emily, Kaleb, Jackson I and were caught.

* * *

"What do we do now?" Jackson asked nervously to no one in particular. I never really heard him nervous, I mean, yes, there were times when we cut class and we were afraid of getting caught, but I think we would all agree that this was so much worse than those time right now.

"Oh man, my mom's going to kill me!" Raven said. For the first time since I first met her I saw that she was legitimately scared. The expression was clear as day on her face. This was something that I thought I would never see from her.

"_Ok you kids, come on out now!"_

"He sounds awful mad Rae, maybe we should do what he says." I had to agree with Emily, going into an abandoned house was fun, but the police obviously thought otherwise.

Raven was about to respond to Emily's statement, but was cut off when the officer walked in through the front door, slamming the door open. This caused us to jump a bit.

"Ok kids, yall are gonna have to come down to the station with me." Of course we all groaned as the officer escorted us to the waiting patrol car. This wasn't looking good for any of us right now. Thankfully no one was out and about, I guess one of the few perks of living in a small town; everyone goes to bed early.

"Do you think they'll send us all to juvie Bells?" Emily voice shook as she asked the terrifyingly possible question. When I turned to face her, I saw that tears were trying to fall down her cheeks.

I shrugged. I didn't trust my voice to answer her question verbally, but that was because I was afraid of the same thing, and I think Emily knew it. She leaned over and gave me a hug. The officer closed the door rather hard. I looked around and saw that Raven, Emily and I were in a patrol car by ourselves, and the boys were in another.

After the officer got in it was a rather quick drive back to the police station. Maybe that was because the station was a mere three blocks away, so before I knew it we were being escorted from the car into the station and were told to walk inside.

The cranky officer waiting by the front door demanded that we enter the building single fine. We trudged inside and we even managed to walk in step.

The officer standing at the counter pointed to the benches in front of him in the middle of the room. The benches looked like they had some wear over the years, but then when there is nothing to in a small town, the only thing left is 'trouble', or in our case trespassing on private property. But in our defense there is nobody living there and nothing there worth stealing even if we wanted to.

The officer that was standing behind the counter and writing something down from a pad of paper he had near him. He looked like he was in his late 30's maybe early 40's. He must have started going bald early, because he reminded me of Mr. Clean from those Mr. Clean commercials. _Mr. Clean_ was on the phone now and _Wooly Mammoth_, as Raven called him started doing some paperwork, probably having to do with bringing us in here.

"Hey, when can we go home?" Jackson asked. Neither Mr. Clean nor Wooly Mammoth answered him. Mr. Clean was on the phone ignoring him, and Wooly Mammoth had his headphones on listening to music. Jackson wasn't having any of this, so he decided to reach over and yank the ear buds out of Wooly Mammoth's ears.

Let's just say Wooly Mammoth was **NOT** pleased.

"I said, can we go home now?" Even though I was nervous, I couldn't help but join in the collective laughter.

Mr. Clean, whose name was Captain McGeorge according to the name plate on his desk, walked over and decided to separate us, Raven and Emily were moved closer to the Captain's desk, and Jackson was moved to the corner near the door, and Kaleb and I were left sitting near Wooly Mammoth, who, come to find out, was the infamous Sergeant Rike, the officer that was known to be thrown out of the nearby bar for being unruly and harassing the female bartender as well as other women who tried to be civil and be nice to him.

And if god wasn't punishing me enough I was the one that was closer to Sergeant Rike than Kaleb was.

"Hello there little lady," The drunk officer slurred. Sergeant Rike leaned over his desk and grinned at me. "How about you come closer and we can have some fun of our own." Sergeant Rike slurred and winked at me. I couldn't help but feel very uncomfortable and the blood in my body turn cold.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Kaleb shouted as he quickly shot up where he was previously sitting. I could sense that he wanted to leap over the desk and strangle the officer, but Kaleb stayed there.

I was kind of shocked that none of the officers, even Captain McGeorge, didn't come over to correct the uncomfortable situation. Sergeant Rike decided to lean back in chair. He stood up and walked around his desk and plopped down between Kaleb and I. The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut a knife through it. Neither of us knew what he was going to try to do.

Sergeant Rike started rambling about nonsense, and about halfway through his tangent I felt something loving up my thigh; this is when I regretted picking out a skirt to wear tonight. I should've moved his hand, or moved myself away from him, but I was too stunned and terrified to do anything about it.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to wish it all away; wishing that the officer would leave, wishing that his hand would move away, and wishing that I hadn't bailed out on my brother and stayed home with him. I could feel tears slowly starting to roll down my cheeks.

Everything that happened next happened so fast. I was jerked away from my attempted molester's grasp. My eyes opened quickly to see Kaleb and Jackson standing protectively in front of me. I peeked around them and saw the Captain handcuffing Sergeant Rike.

"Bella, are you ok? Bella? Bella, can you hear me?" I could hear Jackson saying my name as he looked me in the eyes, but I was just too stunned to respond to him. I managed to nod my head, but I still could not form any words, they stayed stuck in my throat.

Emily was next to me and was hugging me. I could feel her tears dampen my shirt, but I still just sat there stunned. I never thought that anything like that would happen to me, but it did. "Bella, why didn't you do anything? I mean he tried to feel you up!" I couldn't figure out why I didn't do anything. "Because she was shocked the pervert did it Rae why else!" Emily shouted at Raven as she hugged me.

"Margret Cassidy Jones, do you mind explaining why I got a call to pick you up from the police station at eleven o' clock at night?" Emily and I couldn't help but snicker at the realization of Raven's real name. I could see why she would want to go by a different name.

"Mom, Uh…what are you doing here? I mean, you obviously know why since you're here, but we didn't do anything wrong honest." I was semi shocked, as well as the others, we always saw Raven be the strong, bull headed person she is around us, and so seeing her stumble for words around her mom was a little odd.

"Yes, you didn't do anything wrong, you and your friends just _decided_ to hang out in the police station for the hell of it? Now Margret, you better tell me the truth _RIGHT_ now!" her mom said as she gave Raven a glare that was most common with most annoyed mothers. Emily and I were nervous, and not just for Raven, but for ourselves as well, because we knew that if Raven's mom found out, that would mean that all of our parents, or brothers in my case, was alerted of what had just happened a few hours ago.

"Well…er….we…"

"It was my idea to go into that house Mrs. Kensington, not Raven...er Margret's." I wasn't quite sure why I was taking the blame; I suppose I just hated seeing her getting blamed for the entire thing when in fact it was technically all of our faults.

"No Mrs. Kensington, it was my fault." I heard Jackson pipe up and say as he walked back over to stand next to Kaleb, who was about to say something when, lo and behold, both of my brothers, Emmett and Jasper, came barging in and looked both relieved and angry that I was here. To make matters worse I saw that Emmett was still on his date, and I knew this because I saw Sally Mae hurrying in behind Emmett. I envied her, and not just because she was beautiful, but because she could run in high heels and not end up being helped up off the floor from falling. But then that's because I am a natural-born klutz. Emmett and Jasper say I get it from mom, but I really think I got it from my grandmother.

"Bella Marie Swan, do you mind telling us why you and your friends were hauled in like a bunch of common criminals?" Jasper said. I was even more saddened when I saw that Jasper was not only mad, but he was also hurt. But who could blame him, I mean I went and told him I'd spend the evening with him and I turn around and get caught sneaking into an abandoned house with my friends from school.

"I'll tell you why they're all here! They're all here because they thought it would be funny to sneak into an abandoned old house, and 'look around'!" Mrs. Kensington said. She grabbed Raven by her elbow and practically dragged her out of the station and took her home. Emmett and Jasper took me aside and gave me 'a talking to' as mom would put it, and started to take me to the truck. I jerked out of their grasps. "I want to wait until my friends' parents come to get them." I knew that I was in no position to be calling the shots, but I wanted to make sure that they were all taken home, especially Jackson. Now not to say that his mom didn't care about him, it was just that his mom would spend most of her time lying in bed. It started after his dad left them a few months ago and ran off with the local town's doctor's now ex-wife.

I could tell that my brothers didn't want to give him, but they could sense that I was doing it for more than just friendship, so we all waited around. An hour later Emily's mom came to get her, then Kaleb's dad came to get him, but Jackson was left still waiting.

"Jazz, can we give Jackson a ride home? I don't think his mom got the message to pick him up." I whispered only so my brothers would hear. I could tell that they really didn't want to, but quickly gave in to my request. I got up from my place on the cold metal bench, and walked over to Jackson.

"If you want, my brothers and I could give you a ride back to your house." I said in the most cheerful tone I could muster. Jackson gave me a half smile and nodded in agreement. "Sure, I suppose my mom just didn't hear the phone ring." I smiled and nodded, but felt bad that he had to lie about it. I knew that what he meant was that his mom drank herself to sleep. I wasn't about to let the sad thought ruin the thoughtful offer and we all walked out to my Emmett's old truck and headed towards Jackson's house.

"You know I could've just walked home. I mean, I'm glad you and your brothers are driving me home. I still can't believe that Sergeant Rike did what he did to you. I mean, I can, but I never thought it would be one of my close friends." Jackson whispered to me. Luckily he and I were sitting in the back seat of the truck.

"Me neither, I just hope that they finally fire him and do the whole town a favor, but maybe now they will since he did it in plain sight of the other officers." I whispered back. I couldn't but tell that Jackson's concern was meant more than what he was actually telling me.

_Snap out of it Bella, you can't have feelings for him, he's your best friend's boyfriend for pete's sake! _

But I couldn't help _but_ think that. I suppose I would just have to keep this to myself, even if that meant I would be unhappy. I just didn't want my friends mad at me or hate me.

Jackson looked out the window and said, "Here's my stop." He said as he got out of the truck. I decided at the last minute to unbuckle my seatbelt then hurry out of the truck. I ran around and gave him a hug, and in this hug was a thank you for 'saving' me, and a 'hope you stay safe' in it as well. He released me from his grasp and slowly made his way in the house.

Before he went inside the house he turned to face me again, over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow at school Bella." Then Jackson smiled as he opened the door and shut it behind him. I couldn't help but feel sad, and yet feel giddy that he actually called my Bella, and not 'Izzy'. This raced through my mind as I got back in the truck. Jasper started the engine again and we headed back to the place I call home. I gazed out the window and I couldn't help but feel happy. After all this time I was actually and sincerely happy. But the catch was that the source of my happiness was already happy with someone else. This filled my mind as we drove back home.

* * *

**AN: ok so what do you think? Not bad for being gone for months, I am over halfway done with school, and MAY have more time to update more frequently :) I also have some chapters about half way done so all I have to do is go ahead and update that then I will upload those chapters as well :)**

**Please review and let me know what you think. I still plan on having Bella meet Edward; I just wanted to add a little conflict before that happens lol.**


	8. In Need of a Job

**A/N: so I am finally able to update, sorry I haven't updated in forever. I haven't had time to upload on a computer, and when I find time I am nowhere near a computer with internet access lol. But that aside here is the next chapter of **_"Needing To Let Go"_

_Previously on "Needing To Let go":_

"_I gazed out the window and couldn't help but feel happy! After all this time I was sincerely happy, but the only catch was that the source of my happiness was already happy with someone else. This filled my mind as we drove back home."_

**Bella POV:**

"Bella what the hell were you thinking?"

"Yeah! You could've gotten hurt, or worse thrown in jail!"

Both Jasper and I looked at Emmett with confusion, but we let it slide, because we knew what Emmett was getting at.

"I was thinking I wanted to have fun and hang out with my friends, since when was that a crime?"

"Since the fact that you were breaking and entering onto private property, that makes it a crime! What the hell is wrong with you? You're smarter than this Bella!"

I was getting so annoyed with Jasper. I mean he has no idea what I'm going through! Yea, he lost mom, but I was in town and just saw them that morning they died. I was the last one to see them alive, and I hated being here, because everything in this house reminds me of them.

"Maybe I don't want to be "smarter" maybe I just want to have fun and be a normal growing teenager!" I screamed as I stormed up the stairs. I heard both of my brothers yelling to get my attention, but I just kept on walking. I was too angry to say anything to them, mainly because I was afraid I'd say something I would later regret.

After I got to my room I plopped down on the bed and checked my phone for any messages, but there weren't any at the moment.

'_bleep! Bloop!'_

That was my instant messenger letting me know that I had an instant message on my laptop. I let out a sigh and slowly trudged over and slouched back in my chair. I opened the laptop lid and saw it was a message from Emily. Another 'bleep' sounded and another smaller box was an invitation to join a group chat.

I clicked to accept it and saw that all my friends were online.

**loves_wolves_101**: hey bells! U in trouble? Raven and I both got grounded. Hvn't hrd from the guyz yet…

**clumzeeklutz95:** so far im not grounded…hw long u grounded for em?

**loves_wolves_101: ** moms says im grounded for a month

**artistic _mind:** lucky I got grounded for a month AND have to help my mom out at the store….fml -_-''

**tv_junkie_4_life: **awe don't be that way rae ;) least you get to leave the house…i'm grounded for a month and only allowed to go to school and work but that's it.

**silenthunk0645: **wow guess me and bella are the only ones that aren't grounded XP …

I felt bad for Jackson, I mean probably the reason he wasn't grounded was the fact that his mom is too drunk and didn't know that we all got in trouble with the police. I kind of envied him. That meant he would never ever get into trouble, but with that Jackson had to fend for himself. His mom uses the child support checks to go buy her alcohol every week. Jackson also had to have two jobs. The jobs were so he could pay the bills and buy the groceries to keep the fridge stocked.

Oddly enough no one else knows or has even figured it out yet, besides me. Not even Raven, Emily, or Kaleb found out about it. I only found out by accident. He's been sick for the past couple of days, and with his two jobs I've offered to give him his homework whenever he was out sick.

**clumzeeklutz95:** yea that's just cause we are the favorites :P

**loves_wolves_101: **har har izz…well I g2g…the mom wants me to help feed the twins

**artistic_mind:** yea I getter get off here too..ttyl guys…love ya Jackson 3 hope you feel better soon babe!

They all logged off, but Jackson still appeared 'online' to me.

**silenthunk0645:** …you still online Bells?...

I wanted to ignore his question because I was afraid I might say something that would embarrass me or I would accidentally confess my attraction to him.

But my fingers betrayed me…

**clumzeeklutz95:** yup im still here…

**silenthunk0645:** cool..i wanted to say thanks for not "blabbing to the guys about the situation with my mom…

**clumzeeklutz95:** yw….why don't you tell someone? I mean we're sixteen…you shouldn't have to work two jobs….

**silenthunk0645: **…I don't say anything cuz its no one else's business but my own izzy….

Wow…he must've been really mad. He hasn't called me 'Izzy' for awhile now. I got used to Jackson calling me by my real name.

**clumzeeklutz95:** ok….sorry…

**silenthunk0645: ***sigh* bells I know you mean well, but I can handle things on my own…i've been doing this since I was thirteen…

I physically gasped when I reread Jackson's reply

"_is he serious?"_

**clumzeeklutz95: **wow…but I thought the minimum age for work is 16….

**silenthunk0645: **I have an uncle that let me work odd jobs for him around his store nothing major :\

**clumzeeklutz95:** wow…but working 2 jobs has got to get hard to handle…how do you manage it?

**silenthunk0645:** very strict work scheds for each job..that's also why I'm barely passing my classes…

Wow, I didn't know he was having trouble in school to the point where he might flunk his classes. I also started to wonder why he started sharing all of this information with me. I didn't mind it, except the fact that I was the only one who knew about all of this, and I couldn't tell a living soul.

**clumzeeklutz95: **not 2 sound rude…but why are you telling me all of this? O.o

**silenthunk0645: ***sigh* well you found out on your own…I guess its cuz I have someone to talk to about this…plus I know you won't tell anyone else….

I gulped a few times. I wasn't sure if I could handle all of that responsibility, but all if a sudden "Izzy" wanted to keep the secret and keep the friend, but then "Bella" wanted to help him by getting him out of the home by telling someone, but if I did that, then I might lose a very close friend. I let out a sigh, I knew what I had to say…

**clumzeeklutz:95: **yeah, you can trust me Jackson…your secret is safe with me.

**silenthunk0645: **awesome! You're the best Bells! :D …well g2g gotta work tomorrow…see you tomorrow

He logged off and I felt even more stress. "Izzy" had won and I guess it was mainly because I didn't want to risk the friendship I had.

I signed off the messenger and got ready for bed. I checked the clock and saw that it was nearly midnight. I started my shower and after I finished I went to go get changed into a fresh t shirt and my underwear and shorts I normally wear around the house. When I went downstairs I heard my brothers arguing over something from the kitchen. I saw that it was nearly midnight; why were they still awake? I quietly made my way to the doorway of the kitchen to try and figure out what they were arguing over.

"Jazz, we're behind on our bills and the loan payment for the barn Trevor and mom built for the horse boarding business they started. What are we going to do? I mean, which bill is most important and needs to be paid on time this time?"

_What's going on? _

I mean, I know that Emmett and Jasper both got jobs to help pay for the farm and the house payments. I mean Charlie even lent them some money to help pay the payments that were overdue a month. There was only one solution that I could think of that may help this dreadful situation; I would have to get a job. I know that my mom and dad both didn't want me to have to worry about work along with schoolwork, but I didn't want to lose the only connection I had to mom and dad to the bank.

I took a deep breath and walked confidently into the kitchen.

"Jasper, Emmett, I know that mom and dad didn't want me to do this, but I can't let us lose the house and have to go live with grandma, I'm going to look for a job after school tomorrow." I said calmly, even though I was anything BUT calm at the moment, it took everything inside me to maintain my cool.

"Bella, you don't need to get a job, we're doing fine and won't lose the farm and have to move to grandmas, ok." Jasper said. If I hadn't already heard what I had heard I would've agreed and left it at that, but since I did in fact hear what I did, I knew that he was just trying to downplay how much trouble we were really in.

"No! Jazz, I heard you and Em talking, and I don't want us to lose the house. Plus it's not like I'm asking you to let me get a tattoo, I'm asking, no I'm telling you, that I'm going job hunting tomorrow after school." I said straight forward. I was tired of being treated as a child, I was nearly seventeen, and closer to becoming a young adult.

"Wow, who would've thought that our baby sister would stand up to us and grow a pair." Emmett said as he nudged Jasper's side with his elbow. I smirked at them both, mainly because I was able to stand up for myself and actually speak my mind. I almost cried then, because I sounded just like mom does when she was telling dad what she wanted and that that's how it was going to be. Why did they have to be gone? Why did they have to die? Why do I have to miss them so much?

I let out a sigh. "Fine, looks like I won't be able to change your mind anyway Bells. Just make sure you find a job that you like and that pays halfway decent."

"Don't take any wooden nickels…what's a wooden nickel anyway?" Emmett asked confused. Jasper and I couldn't help but laugh at Emmett's expense. He was really smart, but Emmett did tend to be oblivious to what he's said at times.

"You better get some sleep Bella, you have school in the morning." Jasper said. I shrugged and gave them both a quick hug and headed back up to bed and as usual I had trouble staying asleep.

_x-X-x-X-x_

"Wow, so you've actually been 'allowed' to join the working force like a normal teenager Izz?" Raven asked sarcastically while grinning to show that she was being her playful self.

"Yay Bella! You should apply at Delilah's diner! We're hiring there, plus we're always hiring waitresses there." I smiled big, Emily worked at the diner, but I wonder why they're always hiring waitresses.

"They're always hiring waitresses because the pay is so lousy and the manager there is a rude ass." Raven said in a monotone. I had almost forgotten that tiny detail, but I was too desperate to care. I wasn't about to let my home go to someone else, and I wasn't about to even think of losing Rainbow. My horse means everything to me. She is practically the last thing that I have that reminds me of my mom and dad.

"Well, there's that tiny detail, but the pay is awesome! The tips are pretty good too." Emily said encouragingly.

"Thanks Emmy, I might have to take you up on that offer." I said with a huge grin on my face. Who would've thought that I would find a job opening so quick? Well, I hadn't really applied yet or been offered the job, so I had to control myself. I didn't want to go and jinx myself.

Just then the school bell rang, we all slowly made our way inside the building to the same 'ol classes, in the same boring classrooms, and try not to worry about the impending possibility that I may end up losing the last familiar thing I have that reminds me of my mom and dad. I know I am acting, some may say childish, but I say that I'm only sixteen, you're suppose to have your parents pass on when you're in your late forties, early fifties, not when you're still in high school.

But enough of depressive thoughts, I decided to go to my locker and get my books that I would need, and that would be my history book. Guess that was the upside, I liked history, plus I was pretty good at it as well. Just as I shut my locker door I started to walk towards class, but bumped into something hard and, being the klutz that I am, I fell back onto my bottom. This, of course, caused my books to go sliding across the floor.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know I was standing so close, I'm actually looking for the history department." I looked up from where I had fallen, and saw a boy, no, a god with his hand stretched out to me. I gladly took it and he helped me up.

"Again, I'm so sorry for knocking you down. My name's Edward Cullen; my family and I recently moved here and this is my first day here. Do you think you could help me?" I blinked a few times. I couldn't help but stare into his deep emerald eyes. Oh and his bronze-colored hair was so magical. It took all I had not to run my own fingers though it's lusciousness.

"Uh…yea, I can…let me see your schedule." I leaned over his shoulder to glance at his class list. He smelled of that new scent of Axe cologne. God, and to think I thought those commercials were exaggerating when they wanted to rip off the guys' clothing. I saw that he did in fact have history, American History, the same classroom as me even. "Looks like I have American History with you, you can follow me and we can walk together..er…if you want.." Lord, this guy had me all frazzled and tongue-tied. I never felt this way, not even around Jackson, who I _thought_ I had a crush on, now I wasn't so sure about that at the moment.

"No, I mean, yes I would like that a lot. Go ahead and lead the way…er…sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Isabella…well I like to be called Bella; Isabella is too formal for me. Well we better get going so we aren't late for your first day at school." I couldn't help but let out a giggle. I wanted to smack myself, I never every act this giddy, not even when I was growing up. I didn't like how Edward made me feel around him, but there was something about him that kept me coming back to him.

So instead of dwelling on everything Edward, I decided to show him a quick tour on our way to class. That's when I saw my friends about to head out to our normal spot where we ditch our first period. I wasn't sure if I should go ahead and show him to class like 'Bella' would, or if I should be like 'Izzy' and point him in the right direction and make an excuse to leave him and catch up with my friends. I mean, this guy was very easy on the eyes, but for all I knew he could be gay, taken, or all of the above. It didn't matter anyway, I'm sure he wouldn't go for a girl like me. I sighed, I decided to let 'Izzy' win and pointed Edward in the right direction.

"You go down this hallway, and it's the second classroom on your right. I have to go to the restroom, but I'll catch up with you soon." I waved and left before he could try and ask me any questions. I walked in the door to the restrooms and peeked out to make sure he kept on walking to his class. Once I was sure he was gone I quickly snuck out the side exit my friends had taken few minutes earlier.

"So, I see Izzy found herself some new arm candy." Raven said with a playful wink.

"Who knew Izzy liked the pale quiet types." Kaleb said teasingly.

"You two looked cute together Izzy." Emily said with a smile.

"Ok, enough teasing Bella, sides it's up to her who she likes, so if she goes for the silent brooding types, then so be it." Jackson said with a playful grin. I couldn't help but go weak at the knees at how gorgeous his smile made him.

"Thanks Jackson…so who's supplying the cigarettes this morning?" I said to the group. Even though secretly, I hated the smell and aftertaste those cancer sticks gave me. Raven held up her pack and shook it to show she had plenty to go around. As the box was passed around I looked around, making sure no one would see us, seeing as this school was one of many that smoking wasn't allowed on school grounds, and no one was around who would care. Then I saw a familiar face looking out the window looking back at me.

I looked closer and saw that it was in fact Edward. He had a sour expression on his face, it reminded me of how my mom and dad would look at me if I did something that they weren't exactly happy with. I let out a harsh sigh and turned away. I mean, who does he think he is? He doesn't know me, so he doesn't have the right to judge me. As I took in another puff of the cigarette I resisted the urge to cough it all out. I mean, even 'goody goody' Emily was able to keep the disgusting exhaust from these disgusting things down.

"So, who's up for the diner after school? I mean I know most of us are grounded, but I don't think they'd be too upset if we grab a bite to eat before we head back to our prison cells, they call our rooms." Raven said with a chuckle. This of course resulted in all of us laughing. We sighed and decided to put out our cigarettes and slowly made our way back to class and come up with a lame excuse as to why we were late to our first class of the day. Some teachers had suspicions of their own, and made them known, but others may have known but kept them quiet. We secretly appreciated those kinds of teachers, but of course we wouldn't ever let _them_ know that, because then sneaking out would no longer be any fun. 'Izzy' loved sneaking out, but then 'Bella' was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the whole idea.

As I slowly made my way back to history class I could hear Mr. Henry going into his normal speech about _"…what would've the United States looked like, as well as been, if the Native Americans had won the war?"_

I couldn't help but laugh. Every semester kids would mock him after that speech for the next few weeks. Now I would be one of those kids as well. I had reached the door to his classroom and almost was too nervous to knock. I let out a long sigh and knocked on the door and opened it once I heard a muffled 'come in' from inside. There was a cool breeze of air that was caused from opening the door.

"Well Ms Swan, nice of you to finally join us. Take your seat in the empty desk in the back."

**A/N: Well what did you think? So sorry for taking forever to update, I've been sick/working/looking for work/ then battling the urge to even type/finish an awesome chapter for my stories to give to all of you lovely readers :) I love hearing from you and I love your input.**

**Now, for some who may or may not follow the whole 'Izzy'/'Bella' thing It's basically Bella trying to live up to what she thinks her nickname would do, and being her regular self. Hope that cleared it up for you and I look forward to hearing your reviews!**


	9. Good Things Come To Those Who Wants It

**A/N: yes I am in fact alive lol. I still have no reliable internet connection yet, so I can only update when I take my laptop to a wi-fi hotspot, but never fear, I plan to keep writing my stories even if it takes me forever to do so lol. Thankfully, I love writing, it calms me down and it's actually kind of soothing actually.**

**Ok, so enough rambling, here is the next chapter of Needing to Let Go!**

_**Previously in Needing To Let Go:**_

_had reached the door to his classroom and almost was too nervous to knock. I let out a long sigh and knocked on the door and opened it once I heard a muffled 'come in' from inside. There was a cool breeze of air that was caused from opening the door._

"_Well Ms Swan, nice of you to finally join us. Take your seat in the empty desk in the back."_

**Bella POV:**

_S'pose that's what I get for coming to class almost ten minutes late._

I thought to myself as I quietly took my seat towards the back of the classroom. I liked sitting in the back, it brought less attention to myself, and it was good for doodling and not paying attention to the boring lecture that I knew Mr. Henry would continue anyway. I started to write down notes on what parts of the lecture I managed to pay attention to. I really didn't even need this history class, for me, this was an elective considering I had taken so many harder classes the last semester.

My mind started to drift to other things; like what I would say when I would go ask to see if the manager at Delilah's diner would hire me. Maybe they would feel sorry for me and give me a job out of pity, I wasn't beyond using sympathy to get a job, not when we were close to losing everything that I had grown up with.

"Bella…do you have a pen I can borrow?" Edward asked quietly while leaning over towards my desk. I couldn't help but feel all giddy inside.

_You can borrow whatever you like!_

I thought silently to myself as I sifted through my bag. I quickly found a green pen that had musical notes all over it. I leaned over and gave it to him. He gave me a crooked smile and mouthed a 'thank you' and I couldn't help but feel myself grin ear to ear. I quickly shook it off though, I didn't want to attract attention, and lord knows anything that anyone does in this school, let alone this town, gets around like wild fire.

Thankfully the bell rang to end this awkwardness that history caused me with Edward. I mean, I know I'm painfully around guys, mainly ones that are as hot as he is, but for some reason, being so close to Edward I couldn't even remember how to even breathe.

I quickly made it back to my locker and changed out some of my books. As I closed my locker door I saw Emily skipping up to me with the biggest grin I've ever seen on her. I mean, I know she's very perky and the most 'innocent' of us all, but this was a bit much even for her.

"Bells, you'll never guess what I just heard!"

"What, wait, why should I even ask? I mean, you're gonna tell me anyways." I said while I giggled. It was true, anytime that there was some good juicy gossip and she got wind of it Emily, couldn't help but tell anyone that would listen.

"Ok, don't be such a kill joy, but anyway, word's going around that the new boy, Edward Cullen and his sister, Alice, are practically loaded with cash; something to do with their dad being a highly paid doctor in New York or something." Wow, Edward didn't come off as a smug person, I mean usually all the people around here in town loved to flaunt that they had cash to spend, especially Heidi and her clones.

"Wow, Edward doesn't seem like the typical rich kid Emily, where did you hear that anyway?"

"His sister is in Raven's English class and was wearing the latest fashions. Wait! You already met Edward? Is he as dreamy as they say?" I couldn't help but laugh, mainly because Kaleb was behind Emily at the exact moment Emily called Edward 'dreamy'. Emily jumped when she turned to see what I was laughing at, and saw Kaleb frowning at her.

"Oh, babe don't think too much of it, you know I love you, and ONLY you." Emily said as she hugged Kaleb's arm and kissed him on the cheek.

"Good, you better love me babe." He said with a cheeky grin and went to go on about what was on ESPN. Thanks to Emmett constantly watching it at home, I actually had an idea of what he was talking about. Soon Raven came over and let out a sigh.

"Everything ok Rae? I mean you look even more depressed than usual." I said with a hint of humor to try and cheer her up, but it didn't work, There was only one thing that would depress her and keep her that way; Jackson wasn't in school today…again…

I secretly wondered if it had to do with his mom again. I knew that she had been so depressed that she drank nonstop and stayed in her room with the curtains closed and lights off. This made it to where Jackson would have to work two jobs, right after school, and another later in the evening until about two hours before he would have to get ready for school. Raven just sighed and slouched against the locker behind her. "Oh, is Jackson not here at school again?" Kaleb asked as he hugged Emily's side. Raven just nodded and didn't go into much more detail. "Is he home sick or something?" Emily asked with concern.

"That's what he texted me this morning. It sucks, because when he's home sick, which usually means he's not here for a few days."

I sighed. Jackson was getting behind in his homework and tests, he would be lucky if the teachers felt sorry for him and passed him to Junior year. I mean I had no room to talk either, I was just now getting all caught up after skipping school all those months ago after mom and dad died.

"Poor Jackson, who's taking his homework home for him?" Emily asked to all of us as a group. I waited to see if Raven was going to, but she said she lived to far away and her mom had her on strict house arrest, so that's when I offered to take the homework. I mean I knew where he lived, plus it was on the way home. I mean the bus drops me off a good mile or two from my house.

_RRIIINNNGGGG!_

We all sighed and scurried off to our next classes, and for me that was biology. We were going to be starting the dissection portion of the curriculum, and I had a thing when it came to blood; I hated it with a passion. Just the sight of it could make me queasy at the knees. I still remember when I was younger and there had been a blood drive here at the school as a fundraiser for student council, and just the pinprick they did on my finger to test my iron level made me nauseous. I kept quiet about my nausea; I guess that was where I went wrong, because just after the nurse stuck the needle in my arm I started to feel light headed and felt as if I were spinning 'round in circles. Thankfully the nurse caught on to my predicament and quickly removed the needle, put a piece of cotton ball over the spot and she had me lay back in the chair until my dizziness passed. The lady also gave me some gatorade to drink as well as two small cookies to help my dizziness pass.

Well since then I've managed to steer clear of blood drives and anything to do with blood. But today was a bit different, at least I would hope so. I came into class and took my seat at the desk and in front of me was a dead frog. It had been soaked in formaldehyde and smelled absolutely rancid and I couldn't help but gag; I think this smell would take priority over my queasiness of blood today. As the rest of the other kids trickled in I saw Edward slowly walk in. I felt my heart skip a beat and couldn't help but smile. He looked confused, not sure where to sit, so being unlike my normal self I waved Edward over to sit next to me.

_Wait! Since when do I become so social and wave over the newest hot guy in the school over to sit with 'me'?_

I thought to myself as he smiled and nodded his acknowledgement and walked over and dropped his backpack next to the table and sat down. I _so_ wanted to ask him about how his other classes were and whether or not he would date a girl who was practically dirt poor, but I stopped myself and just decided to smile like a total idiot.

"So I take it that we're going to be dissecting this poor guy?" Edward said while gesturing to the slimy green frog. I sighed and nodded my head and muttered a reply. I also managed to tell him that there would be more tomorrow possibly.

"Well you're in luck, because I already did this class at my previous school. Actually a lot of these classes I've already taken, but it's good to be refreshed to make sure that you know what you learned."

I smiled big and giggled at him. He was definitely like me, in that he rambles when he's nervous too.

_Wait, what would he have to be nervous about?_ _I mean has he even looked in a flippin' mirror?_

I was about to ask him, but just then the last bell rang and Mr. Brown came in the class room. He announced that we were going to be dissecting the frogs that were on our tables, and that the person sitting with you would be your partner. There were a few groans, but I sure as hell wasn't about to complain with this. I may be painfully shy, but I loved that I was partners with Edward.

"Ok class, I am passing out booklets that contain questions, as well as directions and steps on how to dissect your frog in the correct manner." He said as he plopped down booklets for us all on our desks. I skimmed through quickly to see what all was inside. Some of the questions seemed easy enough.

I sighed and I offered to get the supplies needed and I left. I heard whispers at how _hot_ Edward was and that it was unfair that Brown didn't even allow 'us' to pick our partners. I decided to just ignore them and grabbed two sets of gloves, the dissection kit, and two sets of masks and goggles.

"Guess you're smarter than you look Swan, but don't get to comfortable, because after class _I'm_ asking Edward out, so you can just forget all your little doodles and daydreams about him." Heidi all but sneered at me. I clenched my jaw and so badly wanted to claw her eyes out. At least that's what I think _Izzy_ wanted, Bella on the other hand just wanted to avoid conflict no matter what.

"Heidi, why do you have to be so rude? I mean we used to be best friends…"

"Keyword Swan, _USED_ to be, I out grew you and your childish ways, I'm into more 'mature' things and Edward is one of them so you better just _BACK_ off if you know what's good for you." And with that Heidi stomped off to her table and I slinked back to mine without a peep. I laid out the supplies and quietly asked what the next step was.

Edward offered to make the first incision in our frog, I didn't bother offering, and I began to drift off thinking about what Heidi said. I didn't act childish, hell, we were both still technically 'children' and she had no right to go there. Then it hit me, she was trying to get in my head as usual and make me second guess myself so I would be the same ol' Bella that would give up before even trying.

I glanced over at Edward, who didn't see me, because he was very focused on making sure he followed the directions properly. I couldn't help but notice in his hair that it wasn't just bronze, it had different shades of copper, like brown, chestnut, auburn, and a few others. I chewed my bottom lip as I started to gaze stupidly.

"Bella, uh, Bella, would you like to make the third incision? It says we have to both at least make two incisions to get the points." Edward said while trying to snap me out of my daydream state. I nodded and put the gloves on and got all situated to start dissecting

"Ok, so where do I make the next incision?" I asked, and he pointed and made an imaginary line where I was to cut. I glanced back at the booklet and saw how deep I was to make the incision. As I started making the incision I glanced back at the page while cutting and all of a sudden I felt a slight pinch on one of my fingers. I looked back and saw that I had cut myself, and BAD. I mean blood was practically gushing and I immediately dropped the scalpel and ran to grab some paper towels. I winced when I applied pressure to it. I jumped a bit when I heard Edward softly ask if I was ok.

"I don't know, I haven't looked at it yet. I don't really like the sight of blood…" I muttered as I prepared myself to peek at my fingers.

"Is everything alright Miss Swan?" Mr. Brown asked from his desk at the back of the class. I was about to respond, but Edward beat me to it.

"Sir, she cut her finger with the scalpel accidentally."

"Oh, well come rinse it off in one of the sinks and then go to the clinic Miss Swan to get it checked out." I just nodded and I sighed and threw away the paper towel. I grimaced when I saw all the blood stained on my skin; from what I could tell I had sliced my middle finger pretty good.

"Do you want me to come with you to the clinic Bella? I honestly don't mind." I decided to look up at him and almost forgot how to breathe. Those emerald eyes of his were so gorgeous that I almost forgot how to even speak.

"Uh, no…I think I can manage, but thanks for the offer." I said as I quickly wrapped up my hand again to stop the bleeding that had started again even though I rinsed off my hand and cleaned it with soap. I didn't wait for Edward to argue and I quickly walked out of class and down towards the clinic. Just as I got to the doorway I saw Jackson trying to sneak into school. He must have gotten off of work early. That's what I thought, that is until I saw that he had a black eye and a split lip.

"Honey, everything ok? What do you need?" The nurse said as she got up from her desk. I snapped out of it and looked to the woman sitting behind an old rickety white desk. She had light brown hair and had a strange obsession with Elvis Presley. She had an Elvis Presley Clock, different pictures of him, some records hanging up on the wall, she even had Elvis Presley tissues!

"I sliced my finger pretty deep in biology, we're dissecting frogs today, and I wasn't paying attention."

"Obviously." The nurse muttered to herself, I scowled at him behind her back. She obviously wasn't aware that I had in fact heard what she said. I just sighed and she came over and looked at my hand. I winced and turned my head away. I didn't want to take the chance of seeing blood and getting dizzy.

She whistled and told me that I had indeed down a 'nice' job at it and told me that I would need stitches for it.

"Is there anyone who can take you to ER sweetie?"

_Oh NOW it's 'sweetie'_

"No, my brothers are both working. Won't a band aid just work for now?" I didn't want to bother Jasper or Emmett. They didn't need to bother with taking me to the ER to get a couple stitches. We needed money, and them being away from work wasn't going to happen, at least if I could help it.

"I can take her if it's ok. I have my own car Ms…."

"Mrs. Johnson, and it's not school policy to allow students to take other students out of school." She had a point, even if she didn't word it right.

"Well, Mrs. Johnson, my dad is the new doctor in town. I'm sure that it would be ok just this one time." He flashed this crooked grin, and this crotchety and cranky nurse was practically putty in his hands. She nodded and gave Edward and I a note that the doctor in the ER would have to sign to show that we in fact made it to the ER and didn't just skip school all together.

"Thank you very much Mrs. Johnson." Edward said as he nodded once and ushered me out of the clinic and he picked up both his, and my bag. I was speechless, but followed Edward out of the clinic and down the hall. We were about to go out the front doors when I just all of a sudden stopped in my tracks; he must've caught on because he only took a few more steps and heard I wasn't following him anymore because he turned and faced me.

"Why'd you stop Bella, you need to have that cleaned and stitched up." Edward said with concern laced in his tone. I just sighed and stared him directly in the eyes.

"Why are you doing this? I mean you don't even hardly know me, and you already offered to drive me to the hospital because I'm so clumsy that I sliced my own finger." I managed to spit out without stuttering or sounding harsh, because for some reason I was annoyed that he thought I was so helpless that I apparently needed help getting to the dr. I quickly stopped myself and took a deep breath.

"I'm just trying to help you out, I mean the nurse even said that you'd need stitches and I don't think that it can wait til after school. I mean if you _want_ to lose your finger then be my guest and just take your backpack and go back to class." Edward said in, what I assumed was a playfully sarcastic tone. I sighed and shook my head 'no' and started to walk with him to his car.

"Smart choice, I knew you didn't want to lose your finger to infection." Edward said with that same damn crooked smile that he used on the nurse and I about went weak at the knees. I just rolled my eyes and decided to avoid making any more conversation about it. Once we got to his car I literally felt my jaw drop. He had the most expensive-looking car in the student parking lot.

"This, this is your car?" I asked while trying to keep my composure. I mean I know people own expensive cars, but why would they own one and drive one here to a small town filled with 'hicks' and 'rednecks' who all drive cars or trucks with tires good enough for 'muddin'.

"Yes, this is my car. I got it on my sixteenth birthday. It's pretty much my baby." I couldn't help but chuckle at that last part. I mean I know must guys love working on cars and love cars in general, but never really heard any of them refer to them as their 'babies'. I just sighed and resisted laughing, even though it was quite hard to do so. He went on to say that it was a sweet sixteen present and his eighteenth birthday present, and something to do with if he wrecked this car the next one would be from an old used car lot. I felt slightly annoyed that he felt 'threatened' by having to get a 'used' car, but decided to bite my tongue and take all my patience not to blow up on him. I mean he seemed like a nice guy, but when it came to personal possession he was such a freakin' prick. Thankfully, after a few minutes later we got there and before I could even unlock my door and open it, Edward was at my door and opened it for me. I just sighed and got out and winced a bit when I used my injured hand to steady myself getting out of the car.

Oddly enough, since Edward's dad was the new doctor, plus no one was in the ER waiting for something life threatening or anything. Edward and I walked up to the desk and before I could get a word out Edward went on to say that I had sliced my finger pretty good and the nurse thought I may need stitches. He asked if he could take me back to see his dad, and once again he flashed his signature crooked grin and that nurse was like putty in his hands.

"Of course you can, just follow that hallway and turn to your right he should be back there, and it was nice meeting you Edward." The woman, who looked like she could be his mother for pity sake, and she had completely ignored me, I mean I was the one with the injury. I just sighed and quickened my pace to keep up with Edward.

"Edward, what are you doing here, I thought school wasn't out until two-thirty?" A man, who I assumed was Edward's dad. I could see the family resemblance, he had his dad's hair, but that looked to be the only thing similar between them. Edward's dad's eyes were a deep blue that they were almost sapphire.

"Sorry dad, my friend cut her finger pretty bad in biology lab today and the nurse said she may need stitches. I thought maybe you could take a look at it, if you don't mind." Edward said stiffly. I guessed that maybe Edward didn't normally skip school to take random strangers to meet his parents.

His dad cleared his throat again while eyeing Edward. This startled him and he quickly stood straighter and introduced me to his dad. "Bella, this is my father, Carlisle Cullen, dad this is Bella." Edward said a in a slight monotone. His dad eyed Edward for a split second but then took a step towards me and examined my finger under a nearby overhead light. I flinched a bit when he gently squeezed my finger and softly muttered 'ouch' when he moved my finger around.

"Well, your school nurse was right you'll need stitches, but I think that liquid sutures should do the trick. Just have it covered for a few days, and then it should heal all on its own. I'll be right back with the kit, just sit still." With that Carlisle quickly got up and left to find whatever it was that he needed.

_Wait, Edward's last name is Masen, yet his dad's last name is Cullen._

What did that mean? Was Edward adopted? Was his dad his step dad?

All these thoughts started racing through my head, and I had no clue what the right answer was, but I couldn't very well come out and ask him. I mean I may have gotten a bit more social, but I still couldn't ask every single little question that was on my mind like Raven and Kaleb could.

"If you're wondering about what I think you are Bella, yes, I'm adopted, and so is my sister Alice." Edward said matter-of-factly. I just sat there dumbfounded. I wasn't sure what I could say. I mean do I say, _"Oh sorry to hear that, what happened?"_ or do I ask _"are you and Alice brother and sister by blood or are u both adoptive separately."_

"Um, well not sure exactly what I'm thinking, I mean you pretty much covered the main thing that crossed my mind" I said as I stumbled for words. "I guess I'm wondering if you are Alice's biological brother or adoptive brother." I asked and instantly wished I hadn't, I mean I was wanting to know, but this is just something that you don't normally ask someone you barely know. "…er…I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, unless you want to." I quickly shut my mouth and started to blush. I hated when I got embarrassed, first I ramble and then I end up blushing redder than an apple.

"Relax Bella," Edward said while he chuckled. I turned even redder. "Alice is my adoptive sister, we just happened to be the same age, and as for the rumors that we're twins, that's just a rumor." Edward said somewhat smugly. He leaned against the wall and just smiled.

"Ok, so I have the liquid suture right here now Bella I'm going to have you hold out your hand and it's going to feel a bit cold, lack for a better word." Carlisle said as he started to apply it to my hand. I flinched a bit when the liquid touched my skin. It wasn't cold and it didn't sting, it just felt weird; just like Carlisle said it would.

"There, all finished. Make sure you pay better attention next time in class Bella." Carlisle said with a wink and I just rolled my eyes and nodded. "Duly noted Doctor Cullen."

"Carlisle, please, feel free to call me Carlisle, Bella." I just nodded and gathered my stuff and walked back to Edward's shiny car. Just then I remembered that I had to get over to Delilah's diner and ask if they were hiring, and if so if I could possibly get an interview.

"So, Bella, where do I need to take you? Do I need to take you home, a friend's house maybe?" Edward said as he started the car and headed out of the parking lot.

"Do you know how to get to Delilah's diner?" Edward just stared at me as if I had the word stupid written on my forehead. "Oh boy, ok, take a left at the next street and then go two more streets then it should be on your right side." I said as I gestured where for him to make his left turn.

"If you don't mind me asking, isn't it a bit early for you to be eating dinner? I mean school just let out and everything." I so wanted to snap at him, but held my tongue and took a breath. I told him that I was seeing if they were hiring and also that my friends hang out there. He just nodded and kept driving. I expected him to question me more, but instead I was met with more silence

I was so thankful when we finally got there I was about to go insane. I mean I know Edward was only being nice, but I couldn't help but start to feel a bit antsy. I guess part of me was nervous to find out if they were hiring at the diner. I mean, if I didn't get a job, it would be a long tough road to keep up with the bills for the farm. I wasn't about to lose Rainbow, she was my favorite horse.

I swung the door open just as he pulled into a parking space and all but sprinted to the building and jogged in and leaned against the counter and asked a waitress about who I could talk to about possibly getting a job here.

"Hang on I'll go find Maude. She's the manager and in charge of who's hired or fired." The woman, who looked close to having the baby in her belly right there where she stood, walked no waddled, back to an office and softly muttered something to the person in the office. The woman had stringy blonde hair that was pulled back into, what I assumed was a bun and had a pale complexion. She looked run down and the more I looked at her, the more I realized that she was actually very beautiful. If I didn't know any better I'd assume that she once cared about her looks, but no one would be able to see that the way she was dressed. I had no room to talk when it came to complexion though. I lived in a sunny town, yet all I could do was burn, then peel and go back to being my pale self. I stopped my staring long enough to see that an elderly woman with graying hair, and about average build walk towards me with the pregnant waitress walk behind her.

"So Rosalie here tells me that you're interested in a job here; tell me, you any good at waitressing tables? Rosalie's getting closer to her due date and she was told by that fancy new doctor that she should limit her 'exercise'." The old woman spat at me. I now saw what Raven was talking about, why they keep hiring and firing people here. This woman was very cranky and very crotchety.

"Oh Maude, I'm a few months away from my due date, it's not like I'm going to 'pop' as you so crudely put it. Besides once I have baby tanner here," Rosalie said as she rubbed her belly. "I'll have a few weeks off for maternity leave, so we'll need to hire her to help pick up the slack around here." She said as she gave me a wink. I couldn't help but get a little excited thinking that I may get this job.

"Fine, you're right Rose, if you think that this little high school kid is up to the task of waitressing here, then while following your fancy schmancy doctor's orders, _you're _in charge of training Miss…."

"Bella Swan..." I added for her. I held back a squeal, but did manage to grin ear to ear.

"Yeah, yeah, you're in charge of training _Miss Swan_ here and she better know exactly what she's in for. I ain't up to dealing with the new waitresses while you're gone."

Maude walked off muttering something about how 'back in her day women had babies and were back at work in a few days, not weeks'. I just brushed it off and couldn't help but squeal. This caused Rosalie to softly giggle as well.

"Well, I think you've officially got yourself a job. I'll talk to Maude about working out a schedule for you. What days are good for you? Also, you're going to have to give me a reliable number for me to contact you at in case you need to cover for someone or if you fail to show up."

"Um, any day after school works GREAT for me, and as for a number, I'll write it down for you." I said while I managed to keep my cool.

"Ok, so until Maude works out a schedule for you, go ahead and show up after school on Monday and bring comfortable shoes, you'll be on your feet a lot in this job. I have a feeling though that you're going to fit in well here." Rosalie said with a smile.

I agreed and said my goodbyes and skipped back to Edward and was all smiles.

"So I take it that you got the job you wanted?" I just nodded eagerly. "Well let me be the first to congratulate you Bella. You got your first job." Edward smiled. I almost detected a hint of sarcasm, but then that's what I was prone to doing, over thinking what everyone has to say. I just smiled and thanked him.

"So, do you need me to take you home, or do you want to stay longer." I thought about it for a minute and decided that I wanted to go home. I wanted to share the good news with Jasper and Emmett, I could tell my friends later on IM, and I wanted to talk to them today. I felt like I hadn't talked to them, and _really_ talked to them.

"I think I want to go ahead and go home. Thank you for driving me around today." I said with a smile and grabbed my bag. I was just happy to go home. It felt as if it was the longest day of my life.

As we neared my house, as I gave Edward directions on what roads to turn on, I couldn't help but think about how helpful Edward had been today. I mean, yea he offered to take me to the hospital, and he even offered to drive me to the diner for a possible job.

When we reached the driveway I told him that where he stopped was close enough and I got out of the car with my things and started walking to the house.

"See you in school tomorrow Bella." Edward shouted after me. I just nodded and waved to him as he backed down the driveway and drove off the way he came. I just sighed and continued in. I knew Jasper and Emmett were against me getting a job, but I knew that they would still be happy for me.

_At least I hoped they would be…_

**A/N: SO what did you think? I know right this was the longest chapter that I've typed so far! Almost 5,800 words! That's a personal best for me :) also, please READ AND REVIEW this chapter and let me know what you think. Let me know what you think should happen next and I'll consider it :)**


	10. Clearing the Air

_**Previously in Needing To Let Go**_

_When we reached the driveway I told him that where he stopped was close enough and I got out of the car with my things and started walking to the house._

"_See you in school tomorrow Bella." Edward shouted after me. I just nodded and waved to him as he backed down the driveway and drove off the way he came. I just sighed and continued in. I knew Jasper and Emmett were against me getting a job, but I knew that they would still be happy for me._

_At least I hoped they would be…_

Bella POV:

To say that there weren't any questions would've been a complete and total lie; Emmett started off on me about where I was all day since I apparently wasn't at school, then Jasper started in about if I wasn't in school why wasn't I at home.

I know they are pretty much the same question, but I still answered them with one answer, and I wasn't quite sure if they were going to like it.

"Well, if you must know, I sliced my finger good in biology class while trying to dissect a frog. I went to the clinic and she told me that I would need stitches. So I didn't call either of you because you both were working and lord knows we need to money, speaking of money I managed to get a job down at Delilah's diner!" I cheered, and hoped that my sudden change of subject would be accepted and this inquisition would be over.

"Delilah's, isn't that the diner that can hardly keep any help around?" Jasper said as he scratched his head trying to wrap his head around this news.

"Yeah, and isn't that old lady Maude still in charge there? She's so cranky she makes Jasper's wet blanket look like a soft and cuddly bed." Emmett said with a nudge in Jasper's side, but I don't think Jasper liked the back handed compliment so much, because jasper punched him in the shoulder and got him back on the matter at hand, me.

"Are you sure you're up for this Bella? Being a waitress can be a thankless job, especially since your job mainly comes from your tips." Jasper said with concern in his eyes. He was always the one who looked out for everyone. I even remember when he and Emmett went on a camping trip with dad, while mom and I stayed behind and took care of the farm. That was when I was bucked off of one of the horses we were boarding and ended up breaking my arm had a small concussion, but nothing too severe.

Jasper wanted to have dad and Emmett turn around and go home, but I assured them, as well as mom, that I was fine and that they should still go out camping.

I let out a depressed sigh. I missed them, my parents, a lot. The pain was still there, but it didn't hurt as much to think about it. I still remember having to run up to my room if I started to feel a panic attack or anxiety attack happen while I was in front of anyone. I tried my best to hide it, but I'm pretty sure that Jasper and Emmett knew what I was doing.

"Yes, I'm positive Jasper, I'll be fine. This way we can have more money coming in and we won't have to move or get rid of the animals." I said with a grin. I know that my expectations of keeping this house were pretty high, but I couldn't afford to think anything different. I mean, I grew up in this house, and I have a lot of both good and bad memories here, I wasn't ready to lose them, not yet.

Before Jasper could argue the issue any further, thankfully, Emmett said that we had the choice of either going out to eat, or we could stay home and have leftovers. I opted to go out to eat, mainly because it'd be my luck there wouldn't be any leftovers if Emmett was home all day, and I would end up cooking because neither one knew how to work a stove.

"Eating out it is then. I say we go over to Delilah's then, see what kind of food you'll be serving there." Emmett said with a laugh that made me almost queasy. This was his way of trying to thoroughly embarrass me in where I soon would work. I almost wanted to back out and throw my hands up in defeat, but I had gotten the job even though the old crone, Maude, was against it, and I wasn't about to let her get the satisfaction of running me off before I even started.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds good. Let me go get my coat." I rushed from my seat and put my coat on, and felt my stomach doing summersaults inside. It's not that I was embarrassed or anything like that; it was the fact that…well I'm not exactly sure what my reasoning was anymore. I just shrugged it off and followed both of my brothers out to the car.

When we were finally at the diner and it was actually somewhat packed; something to look forward to I guess. Once inside we were told it would be a few minutes to clear a booth for us and that we could have a seat. I took this time to glance around to see who all was here and who were working tonight. I saw Emily was working today and that brought up my mood significantly; hopefully we would get seated in her section. That's when I saw that Rosalie was working as well, but per her doctor's orders she was restricted to working behind the counter and not allowed to walk around as much. The counter hid her rather large belly. Then my mind started to wander to thoughts of why she was working when she looked like she could give birth at any time, but I remembered that she told me that she was on her own and needed all the hours she could get before the baby came.

"Who is that gorgeous woman working the counter? I haven't seen her around here before." Emmett said in a daze. I looked at him in confusion and turned to see where his gaze landed on and couldn't help but laugh a little inside.

Rosalie.

He was staring at Rosalie; well little did he know that she was very much pregnant, as for her relationship status I wasn't so sure on. I assume she has a boyfriend or even a husband. But I wasn't a good example for the last part, and neither were Jasper or Emmett for that matter.

"Oh her, that's Rosalie, she's gonna be training me when I start tomorrow after school. She seems pretty cool." I said matter-of-factly, but I don't think he heard any of that, he just nodded and got up and had a seat at one of the stools at the counter.

"Well, looks like instead of a table for three, looks like a booth for just the two of us Bells." Jasper sighed. I shrugged and said it wasn't big deal, and it wasn't one. That was just typical Emmett, once he saw a girl he liked there was no stopping him.

Mom used to tease him, when he was younger, that he was just like his dad in that department. Even when he was older she used to tease him about it. I sighed, lately every little thing started to remind me of them, but I wasn't brought to tears, and I didn't feeling the burning in my chest; that part was a plus at least.

"Yeah, I guess it's just you and me Jazzy." I grinned, and finally after about ten minutes of waiting we were seated at our booth and handed menus. I took a glance at what all they had and took note of what the specials were. Plus, I made sure to overhear how Emily greeted the customers and how she answered their questions about the different dishes.

Then finally our waitress came and took our order. I glanced up and was slightly disappointed that we were just outside Emily's area. I ordered a cheeseburger combo with a side of French fries. When it came to drinks I just asked for a glass of water, it was the cheapest thing on the list, plus I wasn't much of a 'pop' person anyway.

After the waitress left with our order I decided to look around some more, and what caught my eye made my stomach drop. Edward was here on the opposite side of the diner with his family. They looked rather cozy there. I felt the butterflies start to flutter around, so I just kept on looking around. Then there was Emmett sitting at the counter flirting with Rosalie. I wasn't positively sure what she thought, but I could tell that Emmett was interested because he had his elbows on the counter leaning forward and hanging onto every word that was said.

"So how bad do you think Emmett has it this time?" Jasper asked playfully. He also knew how girl crazy he could get, and curious to see how much he liked this girl. I mean he's been this way for as long as I could remember. I remember my mom talking to her friends about how Emmett wasn't your typical little boy. The stereotypical boy likes mud, dirt, trucks, and thought girls were 'icky'. Emmett contradicted the last one. He apparently used to chase girls around the playground and try to kiss them.

"Well, how bad is 'bad' when he has his elbows on the counter and making conversation with her and he's actually not staring at her chest. So he must really like her a lot." But I wasn't holding my breath. Emmett may be girl crazy, but he has never been known to stick with one girl for more than a couple weeks. I just hoped he wouldn't hurt Rosalie's feelings if it went south.

"Wow, I'm impressed, maybe this girl will be the one he finally settles down with." Jasper said with a chuckle, implying the same thing that I was thinking; that Emmett was girl crazy and couldn't stick with one girl for long.

Now don't get me wrong, my brother isn't a playboy or anything like that, it's just he just can't settle down for long with just one girl. When asked he's been known to say that he didn't feel a connection, or that they got to serious too fast, and he wasn't ready for that.

Before I could finish surveying the diner our waitress brought back our food and drinks. We started eating and I heard footsteps approaching our table behind us. I just prayed that it wasn't Edward. I mean I wasn't sure what I was feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I didn't want to confront it right now.

"Oh my god, the girl behind the counter is awesome! Her name's Rosalie and we have a lot of things in common. Plus, she gave me her number and I gave her mine and she said she'd call me sometime." Emmett grinned as he sat down and practically shoved Jasper over against the wall so he could have a seat at the booth.

_It won't be for a couple months at least then._

I thought to myself, as I ate my burger. Emmett went on and on about her. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. My brother was obviously blind if he didn't notice that Rosalie was pregnant, and with another man's baby no less. Jasper and I just humored him and nodded our heads as we ate our food and Emmett continued to gush about her.

I _so_ wanted to tell Emmett that Rosalie was pregnant, but then I couldn't do that to him, for many reasons of course; one being that it wasn't my piece of news to tell, and the second being that he was visually excited and intrigued by this woman. Who was I to destroy this for him, at least one of us in this family deserved to be happy after what we've been through.

After Jasper and I finished our food we left a tip and headed up to the counter to pay. When we got to the counter I wished I could've blended in with the wall, because that's just when Edward and his family finished and were waiting to pay for their food as well behind us. I glanced behind me and Edward just held up a hand as a wave and half smiled, guess this was awkward to him too. I bet you're wondering why it was so awkward, oh well that might have something to do with the fact that Edward's sister, Alice, took this as an opportunity to skip over and give me a big hug and say how happy she was to see me.

I wasn't even aware that she knew me, but I just smiled back at her and agreed that it was a shame that we hadn't had a chance to properly meet before, and that she had a feeling we would become great friends. I just nodded like a dummy.

Dr. Carlisle decided to chime in and make small talk while asking if my hand had healed well, and I nodded and said that it was better and that I planned to be more careful around sharp objects. Just then Emmett and Jasper turned back to see who I was talking to and then the introductions were exchanged and hands were shook.

We stuck around for a little bit talking about this and that and then we thankfully headed home and I couldn't wait to get to the safety of my room and go to sleep, but then remembered that I had homework to do. When we got home I raced ahead and went upstairs to get started. I didn't have time for Jasper and Emmett's comments on how I acted around Edward, and hear Emmett go on about Rosalie AGAIN. I mean seriously, I was happy he really liked her, but hearing about it over and over was a bit much for me. I kinda felt sorry leaving Jasper alone with him, but I knew that I would owe him for leaving him alone with the lovesick puppy.

But I knew that he would eventually slip away and go to the living room and grab one of his books that he loved to read. I think the genre of book he was reading now had to do with the American Civil War.

I finished almost all of the work, but still had to read a couple chapters of _'To Kill A Mockingbird' _to read and I was just not in the mood to read it. I changed into my pajamas and went straight to bed. I guess I was just getting excited and anxious in starting work at Delilah's that sleep came, but it wasn't instant, but I took what I could get.

~XxxxxX~

As the bell rang signally that school was out for the day I couldn't get out of the classroom fast enough. I quickly walked to my locker to put my books up and get my things and slammed it shut and headed out. But on my way I was stopped by what I saw. Jackson and Raven were arguing, and that was odd, because they never argued about anything. That was what was so cool about them, that they were always so loving and caring and never really argued, and I mean all out yelling or true anger.

So, I rushed over to see what was wrong, and by what I heard while making my way over had something to do with the fact that he was always tired and that they spent all their time at her house and she wanted to know why they hadn't spent any time at his. I had a working idea why, but kept my mouth shut. I stupidly asked what was wrong and they both glared at me, but then quickly softened and I could tell that both of them were frustrated.

"Jackson won't tell me why he won't let me come over to hang out at his house, and on top of that we barely get to see each other, and the times we do it's only for a couple hours and now he wants to just take a break and won't give me a reason why it makes me angry!" Raven shouted as tears started to form in her eyes. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her, she had a right to be, I mean I found out by accident, and had been sworn to secrecy and even then I knew Jackson had a valid point to keep this part of his life secret.

Having your friends, girlfriend, or anyone for that matter finding out that your mom is an alcoholic, spends her days in bed all day and doesn't have a job isn't something you want broadcasted all over town.

"So you really want this? You want to take a break from each other? Does that mean I can't be around Kaleb, Emily or Bella?" he asked in a harsh tone. That was the drawback of dating a friend. If the breakup went bad it would be awkward for everyone involved, including the friends in the group.

"I don't know, wait, are you even upset that we're breaking up?" raven shrieked. I've never seen her so upset before; whatever started the argument must've been one helluva doosy.

"Of course I'm upset! But Rave you've gotta see it from my perspective!"

"How can I when you don't tell me everything Jackson?" Raven snarled as she growled then stormed off in the opposite direction. After that I let things cool off before I even attempted to ask what went on. Seems that my suspicions were correct; Raven wanted to go over to Jackson's house, and when he said no and gave some phony excuse Raven got mad and accused him of cheating and wouldn't believe otherwise. That's mainly Jackson's fault for trying to hide that his mom is an alcoholic and him working two different jobs to pay the bills and keep a roof over his mom's and his own head.

"So uh, looks like Raven and I are done. What do I do now?" Jackson asked. I could see he was having conflicting feelings of either telling her the truth or keeping the truth from her. I told him that having a parent that's an alcoholic can be embarrassing and rough, but keeping this from his friends wasn't doing anyone any good, and I also mentioned that he should go find Raven and tell her the whole truth, then let things go from there.

I added that I wish I could stay and help, but that I needed to go over to Delilah's and start my job. He congratulated me and headed off to go find Raven.

I was outside when I accidentally bumped into someone and groaned when I saw who it was. Heidi.

"Watch where you're going freak." Heidi sneered at me, which caused for laughter from her so called friends standing around her. I rolled my eyes and muttered 'whatever' as I brushed past her and walked towards Delilah's.

I passed all the shops, even walked downtown and waved to some of the storekeepers, and when I finally reached my destination I saw Rosalie straightening tables and wiping them down; during the week they closed for a few hours to get things ready for the dinner crowd, that included the food.

The door dinged to alert her that I was there and I smiled big when I saw her. She returned my smile and I noticed she looked more worn out than yesterday; also she looked a bit pale too.

"So are you ready to get to work? If you do well enough I may even let you wait on a few tabled by yourself." Rosalie said with a grin, but I could tell that she was feeling anything but chipper and perky today.

"Yeah, I'm ready where do we start first?"

To say that I had my work cut out for me was an understatement. First she told me what all that we would be doing. Since Maude didn't like to hire very many people, there would only be two waitresses at a shift, but thankfully the diner wasn't very big, but still meant I had about six tables to cover, and two of them were booths. Then there's the dinner shift, which would be what I would be working, that was their busiest time of day.

For a split second I was considering throwing in the towel, but that quickly went away when I heard that I would be starting small, and that I would be shadowed by Emily tonight. It was her day off, but Rose called her in to have her help me in case I panicked and forgot something for a customer.

At the end of my training Rosalie said that I was a little rough around the edges, and needed work on carrying trays around, but that I was good enough to at least work tonight. I couldn't help but squeal with excitement and I hugged her, careful not to be too hard.

"Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means for me!" I gushed as I couldn't stop smiling.

"Oh you're welcome honey; I think you're going to make a good replacement for when I'm gone with the baby." She said as she rubbed her belly. I couldn't help but ask if she knew what she was having. It was going to be a girl. She had the names down to Liza and Eloise. I liked both those names and said that either one would be a good fit for her.

"Now tell me, what's the deal with Emmett, I take it he's your brother?" She asked with intrigue. I giggled and said that he was in fact my brother, but that he was technically my half-brother, but I didn't get into too much detail.

"So, is he seeing anybody? Not that I'm in much of a situation for dating right now, but I kinda think me and him hit it off. He didn't even seem put off that I'm expecting or anything."

I couldn't tell her that I thought Emmett didn't even notice that you were pregnant, I just sighed and nodded and didn't say anything else.

All this keeping secrets from family and friends was getting to be big pain in the butt. Thankfully at least one secret would no longer be a secret, and I could breathe easier around Raven and the others and not have to force myself to keep quiet.

"So since dinner shift doesn't start for a few more hours, how about we take a load off and I can help you with your homework if you got any." She said as she eased herself down into a nearby chair. I couldn't help but smile and get my stuff out and we went through some of my harder work to do.

I could get used to having her as a friend, and a boss.

**A/N: So what do you think? I crave your feedback and what you think. Even if it hurts, I still want to hear it. So what do you think should happen next? Let me know in the reviews you'll send me plus expect a love triangle in future chapters as well ;) I won't tell you who yet, because that's still being decided lol so for now stay tuned and add this story to your alerts if you haven't already so you can see when I update!**


	11. Congratulations, It's A Boy

**A/NL Here I am and I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter and if you haven't already then please add this to your alerts so you can stay up to date on this story as it unfolds. :) I know that you all want to stay up to date on it ;) lol**

_**Previously On Needing To Let Go**_

"_So since dinner shift doesn't start for a few more hours, how about we take a load off and I can help you with your homework if you got any." She said as she eased herself down into a nearby chair. I couldn't help but smile and get my stuff out and we went through some of my harder work to do._

_I could get used to having her as a friend, and a boss._

**Bella POV:**

The dinner shift was a nightmare, but thankfully Emily was able to show up and help me tackle all of the different orders. I managed to keep all the orders separate and to the correct tables, it was just the whole 'carrying on big tray' that was the issue. Emily tried to comfort me by saying that it would just take practice, but even I knew that it would take A LOT of practice, and coordination.

Coordination was something that I lacked, but it wasn't a lack of trying, as you've probably already guessed I'm a bit of a klutz at times, and my multitasking seems to only apply to schoolwork and chores around the farm. I still remember when I carried a tray that had four plates of cheeseburger meals, which I nearly dumped the tray onto one of the customers at the table, but thankfully I regained the balance and quickly set it on the table and passed out the different orders.

At the end of the night I counted up all my tips, and I had made fifteen dollars in tips alone, which was pretty good considering I had ten tables to worry about. Even Rosalie thought I did pretty good, but added that I still needed work on my speed. I just nodded and put away my tips and went to the back room to get my bag then head for home.

I had just made it through the door that led from the kitchen back to the main room when I heard Rosalie hiss and the let out a long guttural moan. Maude had said that she was about to pop any day, maybe tonight was the night I guess. I rushed over to Rosalie's side and tried to see if she was, in fact, in labor and already starting her contractions, or she was just feeling the baby kick.

"Rose, are you ok?" I asked as I gently laid my hand on her belly and supported her back. I didn't need to be a doctor to know that she was in labor and that it wasn't just the baby kicking, for one she was clutching her stomach, and two, I saw a small puddle of clear liquid on the floor between her legs. I know that that's cliché and that some women just have it trickle down their legs, but this wasn't the case for Rosalie. I asked if she had a car or someone to come get her, and she just shook her head no as she concentrated on breathing. I didn't have my license to drive or a cell to call anyone (shocking I know), so when Rosalie managed to sputter that she had her car out front that she drove to work I offered to take her. She wasn't too keen on the idea, but she took what she could, I reassured her that I was perfectly capable at driving and also mentioned that my mom and dad used to let me drive the truck up and down the long dirt driveway and to and from the barn and stables. She really didn't let me finished and groaned then let me help her to her car and she handed me the keys and went back to focusing on her breathing and keeping calm.

I started the car, but it took a few tries for the engine to turn over and start, and when the car started it sounded like it would fall apart around us and I groaned when I saw that her car had a stick shift. I knew how to use one, but I hated it profusely, because you had to use the clutch just right otherwise you would tear the gears or stall the car out.

"Please tell me you know how to use a stick Bella." Rosalie yelled as the contractions started. I told her that I did and drove towards the hospital. We were able to get there in one piece, but to say it was a 'smooth' ride was an understatement. Once we were at the ER, I rushed out of the car nearly tripped trying to get to the other side and help Rosalie out of the car when a nurse came out to help and ask what was wrong Rosalie had another contraction and screamed, "I'm about to have a baby that's what's flipping' wrong with me lady!" I just sighed and the nurse was flabbergasted and ran back inside to alert the other nurses and came back out jogging with a wheelchair for Rosalie to sit in.

The nurse, whose name was Heather according to her ID, told me that they were going to rush her up to the maternity ward and that I could either wait with her, or I could wait out in the hall. I opted to go with her, but said I would have to make a phone call first. She nodded and motioned with her chin to ask one of the nurses to use the phone and call.

I just nodded and quickly hurried over and asked for the phone, which got no response. I tapped my fingertips on the counter trying to get their attention, but whatever conversation they were having must've been more important than my phone call. After about, what seemed like hours, but was merely a few minutes I slammed my hand down on the counter and yelled "hey!" to the nurses to get their attention. My hand stung from the force I used to bang on the countertop, but proved affective. But to say that they weren't amused didn't even begin to cover it. My annoyance drained and what replaced it were nerves. I hated when everyone was staring at me. I managed to ramble off that nurse Heather said I could use the phone to call someone to come get me.

The one closest to me rolled her eyes and just picked up the phone and let it clang on the counter and muttered that I would need to dial nine to get an outside line. I didn't know who Rosalie would want here, but I knew I would have to at least call Jasper and Emmett and let them know where I was and why I hadn't called them sooner to have one of them pick me up.

I dialed and got a busy signal, Emmett forgot to hang up the receiver, they forgot to pay the phone bill, or…I don't even know. I tried to dial them again and finally got through, Jasper picked up and when I said hello, I didn't even get a chance to explain my story.

"Bella, where in god's name have you been? We've been worried sick, Emmett and I were about to call the police to try and find you, why aren't you home?" I tried to get a word in to try and explain the situation, but Jasper kept going on and on, I finally had to yell his name into the phone, and then I was able to tell him what happened and that I was at the hospital and said that I was fine, but that Rosalie had gone into labor and I was with her.

Jasper sighed and was glad that i was ok and told me that he and Emmett would be there soon to come get me. I stopped him right there and said that I wanted to stay with Rosalie, at least until the baby was born, to make sure that the baby and her were both ok. I could tell that he didn't like the idea, but reluctantly agreed and said that him and Emmett would be there soon.

I hung up the phone and thanked the nurse, which I could tell that she could've cared less. I hurried down the hall and found the maternity ward. When I looked at the directory, the maternity was on the second floor. I whined at the thought of taking the elevator. It's not that I had a fear of them; I've just not had the best luck with them. I remember when I was here to visit my mom in the hospital once and the elevator was at a certain floor, but the doors didn't open. I thought it had broken down, but I sighed and panicked and jabbed the button and thankfully it opened. I was never so glad to be on the third floor.

Rosalie was in labor and I considered her my friend, and I would just have to suck it up and take the elevator up to the second floor. I felt myself hold my breath as I impatiently waited for the elevator to ding and signal that I had arrived at my destination and would no longer have to be in the metal deathtrap on a cable. Once there, I let out a sigh and went to the nurse's station and asked what room Rosalie Hale had been taken to. I was asked if I was family, and almost said no, but if I said no there could be the possibility that she wouldn't let me go back and see her. I lied and said yes, that I was her cousin that came to visit her.

I never was any good at lying, but the nurse bought it and pointed in the direction I was supposed to go and told me the room number. I thanked her and jogged down to her room. When I got there I saw Rosalie lying in her bed on her side, her back was to the door and I softly said my hello and asked how she was feeling.

According to her, her contractions were getting closer together, but she still wasn't dilated enough, and that if after a couple more hours she wasn't dilated further they would have to perform a C-section; which Rose didn't want at all, that would mean more time off work and less money she would be able to make. I reassured her that she would be ok and that the little baby would be ok as well. I took a seat next to the bed and looked up to see that Rosalie had settled on ESPN. I would've never guessed that she was a sports fan, which was another thing she had in common with Emmett.

"I love my baby Bella, but this waiting and pain is getting ridiculous. I'm sorry if I got you in trouble." I saw concern in her eyes, but I assured her that I was not in trouble and that my brothers would be here soon to help keep us company.

That's when it hit me; Emmett didn't know or notice that Rosalie was pregnant. Well, when he got here it wouldn't be a secret anymore. I chuckled to myself, and Rosalie asked what was so funny, I tried to tell her it was nothing, but I could tell that she didn't believe me and asked me again what I was laughing about. I let out a sigh and decided to tell her that I thought my brother, Emmett, was clueless that she was pregnant. I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed, but laughed when I saw how big her eyes got. It wasn't your normal laughing either, it's that kind you do when there is an awkward moment and you laugh because of that situation.

"How could he not know I was pregnant? I mean, I'm as big as a freaking barn, Bella. How sure are you that he had no idea?"

"Well, when he met you and came back to tell us what he thought about you, which was all good things by the way, he never once mentioned that you were pregnant." It was the truth, both Jasper and I were confused in that matter, but we both also knew that he was never the most observant one of us either.

"Well, maybe he's one of the few guys that doesn't find it off putting that a girl is pregnant and still working, at least something like that." I nodded in agreement, it could be possible I suppose, but if I knew Emmett he just wasn't that observant.

A nurse, nurse Heather, came in to check on Rosalie and asked how she was feeling and if she needed anything. Rosalie said that the contractions were starting to get a little more intense and asked if she could have the epidural. The nurse said that it was possible, but she would have to check with the doctor. I could tell that Rosalie wasn't pleased but agreed and adjusted herself in her bed trying to find a position that wasn't too uncomfortable.

"Not sure if I asked you already, but do you have any clue as to what you're having; a boy or girl?"

"Well, I wanted to be surprised, but I've been told that the way I'm carrying myself that it could be a boy. I hope for a girl, but either way I just hope that the little baby is nice and healthy and comes out soon, I'm ready to meet them already." Rosalie said with a pained smile. From what I could tell, she was having another contraction.

I was about to press the nurse call button, but just then the doctor came in and checked her out and checked to see if Rosalie was ready to push. According to him, she was ready to push, that's when he called in for nurses to come help him get his paper gown on over him and get the bed transformed to get the stirrups ready for Rosalie to rest her feet in. I was forced to move out of the way, but stayed up by Rosalie's head to keep her company. I told her to hold my hand as the other nurses were getting her ready to sit up and push. I could sense that this was starting to get very real for me, and I was feeling a bit dizzy, but talked myself through it. I would be strong for Rosalie.

"Ok, Rosalie on the count of three I want you to push and count to ten ok? One…two…three, push!" Just then she took a deep breath and pushed, I almost regretted offering to have her hold my hand. I helped talk her through her breathing along with the nurses, but she had an iron grip on my hand and I nearly screamed from how hard she had held my hand. The nurses and doctor told her she did a very good job, but that she would have to push more often to get the baby out. I couldn't help but groan, silently of course, I mean, I couldn't even begin to imagine trying to push something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a walnut.

This whole routine went on for a good twenty minutes or so, and both Rosalie and I were relieved when the doctor said that Rosalie needed to give one more good push and the baby would be out. The nurses helped her sit up again and I tried soothing her as she cried from the searing pain I'm sure she was feeling and took a breath and tried to push for the full ten seconds, but she only made it to eight. The nurses tried encouraging her to keep going, and with a loud scream she pushed again, and finally I peered over the covers and saw the doctor helping pull the baby out head first, I saw it's little shoulders and I told Rose, I could see that she was getting excited.

"Hey Bella, we stopped by the gift shop on the way – holy mother of god!" Emmett eyes widened as he shouted when he saw the baby finally being pulled out of Rosalie and I was shocked to see all the color drain from his face. Very rarely would you see Emmett go pale at anything, and before anyone could get to him he fainted.

_Fainted! Emmett, my brother who watched intently watching every gory detail during shark week, fainted at the sight of Rosalie giving birth._

Rosalie was too exhausted to notice this, and was happy to hear the cries from her baby, and from what I could see while the nurses took the baby away to clean him up.

"It looks like a baby boy Ms. Hale, congratulations." The doctor said with a smile and stepped away to go check to make sure that the baby boy was nice and healthy. Rosalie was very happy and was excited to have a little boy. I even asked what she was going to name him. That, she wasn't so sure on, she had only thought of girl names, now she had to completely scratch that idea and come up with a suitable boy name for him.

Nurse Heather came over and handed the baby over to Rosalie and explained how she was to hold him, and that she would have to support his head as well. She just smiled down at him and I couldn't help but fall in love with him too, he yawned so big I could see his cute little pink gums. As Rosalie lay back with him, she kept testing out different names on him; seeing which name flowed better off her lips. As I walked back over to my chair I noticed that a male nurse had to help Emmett up off the floor and into the empty bed next to Rosalie. Good 'ol Emmett had to go and hit his head on the way down when he fainted.

"He's a very handsome baby Rosalie, congratulations." Jasper said as he smiled over at him. He placed the balloon bouquet on the counter. I couldn't help myself, I had to laugh at the balloons; only because in the balloon bouquet it had one balloon that said "Congratulations, It's a boy!", and then another one said "Congratulations, it's a girl!" granted, none of us knew what she was having, and I guess they just wanted to be safe either way.

"Hey, it's not my fault; we didn't know what Rosalie, here, was having so we wanted to cover all the bases." Jasper said with his crooked grin.

"How does the name, Bentley James Hale?" Rosalie asked us. I liked that name, he looked like a Bentley, plus he seemed to like the name because he started to coo a bit and yawn again.

"I like it, a very sturdy name, and I think lil Bentley likes it too." Jasper said with a small smile. I could tell that he had been up all night studying. He may have told Emmett and I that he quit school, but I knew that he switched to online classes. Now, what we didn't know was why he was keeping it a secret.

"Thank you Jasper, and thank you for the flowers and balloons." Rosalie said as fought to stay awake, and since she was feeling sleepy I asked if it would alright if I held little Bentley. Rosalie was all for it and I carefully took him from her and sat down in the lounge chair with him. He had her blonde hair, but his eyes were an almond brown instead of Rosalie's ice blue ones.

"Whoa, I had the strangest dream, I dreamt that I walked in on Rosalie having a baby, and that I saw that everything the lord gave her too." Emmett said from his bed behind the curtains. Rosalie was already asleep, so she didn't hear him, but sadly Jasper and I had. Jasper went on to say that Rosalie did in fact have a baby and that it was a healthy baby boy.

"Whoa, cool, what did she name the little tyke?" Emmett asked as he sat up carefully. I told him that she named him Bentley James Hale, and that he was right here. I didn't dare get back up but it was implied that I was holding him. Emmett carefully got up from his bed and trudged over to get a better look at him. I was pleased, but at the same time confused by Emmett's cool reaction to Rosalie being pregnant. I mean, usually, like I've already said, he went from woman to woman never longer than a few months. It was never serious, but I guess Rosalie was different. I liked the man Rosalie made him become; he was more grown up and not such a goof ball all of the time.

"Sweet, that's a cool name, hey when you get tired of holding him it's my turn Bells."

I just smiled and agreed. If I didn't know better I would've thought that Emmett was the father of this beautiful baby.

**A/N: So what did you guys think?**

**BTW Emmett is going to do something unexpected in the next chapter, and I think I kind of hinted at what he might do, so let me know what you think and if you're right I'll let you know and even if you don't know I'll let you in on the little secret.**

**Plus, I'm in the process of writing **God Blessed Texas **and **Paralyzed** too, so bear with me as I try and update more regularly as I've finally had a more reliable Wi-Fi (thanks to a phone app btw lol)**

**So, stay tuned and let me know what you all think ok :)**


	12. You're Doing What?

**A/N: So what did yall think of the last chapter? Here is the next chapter I hope that you enjoy it just as much and please keep the reviews coming I like to hear from you all and your thoughts and ideas, they help me shape the story so that I make it better and you all enjoy it more! :)**

_**Previously on Needing To Let Go:**_

_Emmett carefully got up from his bed and trudged over to get a better look at him. I was pleased, but at the same time confused by Emmett's cool reaction to Rosalie being pregnant. I mean, usually, like I've already said, he went from woman to woman never longer than a few months. It was never serious, but I guess Rosalie was different. I liked the man Rosalie made him become; he was more grown up and not such a goof ball all of the time._

_"Sweet, that's a cool name, hey when you get tired of holding him it's my turn Bells."_

_I just smiled and agreed. If I didn't know better I would've thought that Emmett was the father of this beautiful baby._

**Bella POV:**

It was the next day and after school Rosalie was getting released from the hospital and going home with little Bentley. I couldn't wait for them to get home because Rose said that I could come over to her place after school for a few minutes before I would have to go work at Delilah's. Emmett offered to take Rosalie home when it came time. It was just really odd how cool Emmett was about all this. I mean he's always been a serial dater, never dating any girl longer than a few weeks, the longest I've ever remembered him with someone was, at least, four months.

School went on like always, Raven was still mad at Jackson for lying, and refused to even talk to him. Emily and Kaleb tried cheering her up, but it didn't seem to do any good. Raven wouldn't even speak to me either, well that wasn't entirely true she would talk to me about school-related things, but anything else she would just pretend as if I hadn't said anything.

Then there was Edward, I wasn't sure why, but he had been all too friendly with me the first couple days when he first got here, but when I would try and talk to him during science he seemed distant, like his mind was preoccupied with something else.

Just what I needed, almost all of my friends ignoring me or mad at me. This was one of those days where I wished I could just skip school and go off and ride Rainbow, my horse. I love riding her, haven't had a chance to ride her as much lately due to school and work. I know that Rainbow is somewhat of a 'dumb' name for a horse, but I was five when I got her, so cut me some slack. She's a Palomino and I love her.

"Ms. Swan, how about you come up to the board and answer this question for the class." Mr. Ackley said in a tone that showed his annoyance for my lack of attention during his math class. I knew why they did it, but was their reasoning for calling on kids who didn't pay attention during lecture only so to set an example for others not to doze off during class.

I sighed and dragged my feet towards the chalkboard at the front. I mentally talked to myself that I could do this, and that Math wasn't my worst subject, that I could do this.

I silently groaned when I saw the math question in front of me. Why did I ever agree to take Calculus is beyond me; I barely was able to make a C average in the class, and that was only because Mr. Ackley went easy on me because my parents died. Now that it's been a while and I've had time to grieve (not my words by the way) I should be back to normal and that my studying shouldn't be affected as much anymore.

No one was saying this out loud but it sure was being implied by some of the teachers, at least that's how I felt when I explained why my homework wasn't done on time.

I stood at the chalkboard for a long time, not sure what to do. I could try and answer the question, but if I did then it would possibly be wrong and I would get laughed at; I would get laughed at either way. It was a lose-lose situation for me.

"See children, this is why paying attention in class pays off, you know how to answer questions. Go have a seat Ms. Swan." Mr. Ackley said with a hint of amusement directed at me. Although he didn't show it, I could sense that he thoroughly enjoyed seeing his students squirm when they couldn't figure out the answer.

"No! No, I will not have a seat; I don't have to take this crap, not from anyone not from you!" I had no idea where this came from; I'm never this outspoken, I usually keep everything bottled up and shove it down inside. The entire class was stunned as well and I looked around and I saw a few open mouths and a couple smiling ear to ear. I felt myself smiling as well, I was proud that I finally spoke my mind. Before Mr. Ackley could form a response, which would be to send me to the principal's office, I grabbed my backpack and stormed out of class and shut the door behind me; I jumped when I heard it slam shut. I had no idea I had in fact shut it that hard. I just sighed and kept on walking; I was afraid if I stopped that I would cave in to my good nature and just get into more trouble, I just wanted to get out of the school and get some fresh air.

I took a step outside and before I knew it I collided with a hard object and fell backwards, luckily I didn't fall down, but I did stumble back a bit. I glanced up to see who I had bumped into I suddenly felt my cheeks start to redden. I had bumped into Edward. Why was it that, of all the people in this school, I bumped into him? It wasn't that I hated him, but like I said, he acted like he was avoiding me and the last thing I needed was another person giving me grief.

"We gotta stop meeting like this." He said with a crooked grin. That darn grin made me blush even more. I rolled my eyes and tried to stop myself from blushing even more. I explained what happened and even mentioned my outburst in class, which earned me a loud chortle from Edward. He was shocked that I was a troublemaker and that he had me pegged as the 'quiet good girl' type. I was so flustered that I couldn't even form a simple response and told him to go shove in his ear and I stormed off past him.

"Whoa, wait a minute Bella, where are you going?" Edward said as he grabbed me by the arm. It wasn't hard, but I wasn't expecting it and I stumbled back a bit. He steadied me and made me look him in the eyes and I wanted to look away and just keep on walking, but something in his expression made me stay right where I was. I didn't owe him an explanation for where I was going, however, I just sighed and stared back up at him.

"I don't have to tell you where I'm going, but if you must know I'm going to see a friend before I go to work, is that ok with you?" I said a bit harsh, more than I wanted to sound, but I was just frustrated and I just wanted to go home. I was getting tired of school, my friends weren't talking to me, well at least Raven wasn't; Emily and Kaleb have yet to try and talk to me, although in their defense I have been trying to dodge them so I could avoid the confrontation and imminent conversation about how I lied to Raven and them about Jackson's situation.

In retrospect I personally thought the whole thing was a bit juvenile; keeping secrets about friends from other friends, it was all a bit stupid.

"Bella," Edward sighed, if I didn't know better, it sounded like he wanted to say more, but didn't. ", please be careful. Don't give up on school; I hope you're in class tomorrow." Edward said as he let my arm go from his grasp. I shook feeling back into it, even though it really didn't need it. I just nodded and stared at him, hopefully that would be enough of an answer for him.

I kept on walking, and when I finally arrived outside in front of Rosalie's house I saw Emmett putting some boxes into the back of the truck. _That's strange_, I thought, so _why would Emmett be putting boxes into the back of the truck from inside Rosalie's house?_ I continued way towards the truck I saw Rosalie coming out through the front door carrying a wrapped-up Bentley and smiled bigger when she saw me walking towards her.

"Oh hello Bella, I know that I said you could come by and visit with Bentley and I, but Emmett has invited me to come live with him, well I guess you as well, seeing as how Emmett and Jasper live with you at your house. I hope you don't mind." Rosalie said with a hint of worry in her tone. I wasn't the least bit put out by it. I actually loved the idea, I would get to see more of the cute little baby and I wouldn't even need an excuse.

"Oh hey Bells, Rosalie here is moving in with us. I already talked to Jazz and he's on board with it, and since Rose's has the baby, she can use mom and dad's old room." Emmett said with a grin.

_What?_

I was all for Rosalie coming to live with us, but if she used mom and dad's old room, then it would all be real. My mom and dad were really dead and never coming back. I just nodded; I didn't trust my words at that moment. I was afraid I may say something I would later regret. I wanted Rosalie to come live with us, but I wasn't looking forward to having to help move all of their things up to the attic. I know life goes on and everything, but I wasn't sure how this would make me feel.

I originally thought that I would be able to accept their deaths and move on, not forget them, but just accept that they were gone, and that one day I would see them again. But just as I thought I was just starting to accept it, something came up and put a wrinkle in the plan.

"Oh um, that's great! I mean, really, well I um have to get to the diner, but I'll be home afterwards." I said before either one could answer me, and I quickly walked back in the opposite direction. I heard Emmett offer to take me over to Delilah's, but I kept on walking. I needed time to think, time to try and make myself come to terms with the fact that Rosalie and Bentley moving in with us, and into my parents' old room was a sign that they were truly gone.

Then Edward's expression and the fact that he wanted to say something else, but didn't, made things even more confusing. I just hoped that things would calm down and I would be able to cope with all these feelings, plus that Raven would soon talk to me about stuff other than school related.

**A/N: So what did you think? Please let me know and I want your opinions and input on the story. What do you think should happen next? What do you think WILL happen next ;) I want your ideas and theories they help me complete the chapters faster and you get to read them more quickly.**


	13. When Will I Be Able To Sleep?

**A/N: Gonna keep it short and sweet, thank you for reading my last chapter, and here is the next chapter of **Needing to Let Go**. Enjoy!**

_**Previously on Needing To Let Go**_

_Then Edward's expression and the fact that he wanted to say something else, but didn't, made things even more confusing. I just hoped that things would calm down and I would be able to cope with all these feelings, plus that Raven would soon talk to me about stuff other than school related._

**Bella POV:**

Well if I told you I slept good last night, or any night for the past couple of months, I would be lying. I know that babies cry, and that they can wake up in the middle of the night, but every few hours, seriously?! Don't get me wrong, I love little Bentley, and that him and Rosalie were now living with us, but sleep was my one true escape from a crappy day, and even my sleeping gets ruined. I got up and dressed then headed down for breakfast. I could smell the aroma of eggs and bacon being cooked on the stove. Jasper always did know his way around the kitchen, I remember when he first cooked a meal, mom gave him the choice of what to make; needless to say that I couldn't eat hamburgers for a week after

"Hey Bells, you're up early, usually you just grab a slice of toast on the way to school." Jasper said with a hint of concern. I usually sleep as much as I can until the last possible minute. I was about to give some lame-ass excuse, but Emmett came stomping in from outside.

"Whew, who knew doing all these farm chores wore ya out. I mean, yeah we helped mom and Trevor out a lot, but never had to do it on our own." Emmett said as he plopped down at the table. He still had his job helping out at the local feed store, but with the farm falling behind and I'm at school, and Jasper helping at the library every so often it fell to him to do some of the hard labor.

"Yeah, well I would've helped you drama king, but I needed my beauty sleep and plus I have a test to take." I said as I yawned bigger than I had intended. I always yawned bigger when I never got enough sleep; hopefully my brothers remained as clueless as I remember them being when I was younger.

Turns out I was right, or at least they didn't bring it up any. Just as Jasper started to serve breakfast Rosalie came down for breakfast, and, that crying holy terror, Bentley along with her. It also turns out that Bentley was starting to teethe, which was one of the few reasons he was up screaming during the night. I loved the little guy to death, but I desperately needed sleep.

I quickly ate my plate of food and kissed both brothers on their cheeks to say goodbye and waved to Rosalie and Bentley as I sprinted out the door to catch the bus. I may be a junior, but I didn't have money, neither did Jasper or Emmett, to buy a new or used car. Now, I could use mom or dad's cars, or even the old truck, wait, I forgot, the truck was totaled and since we couldn't get it fixed, it just sat out by the barn turning to rust.

That reminded me that things with Raven and Jackson were a little better, due in part of Emily and I conspiring to lock them in a supply closet during study hall to force them to actually talk to one another; thankfully, it worked and when we decided to open the closet we saw them in the middle of making up, well, rather making _out_ is more like it; that was one of the few times I think I've ever seen Raven blush so much. I must also say that my feelings for Jackson, which I thought were developing into romantic feelings, turned out to be just deep kinship with him, meaning that I sympathized with, well in the fact that he had to support himself jobs to keep things going with his mom.

Oh, also, so happens that Jackson's mom finally entered a detox clinic that would help her get sober, and if I remember correctly they will also help her get in touch with a temp agency so that she can get a job and start working again. I couldn't even begin to imagine how happy I'm sure Jackson was to hear this news, except that the way he looked and acted you would've thought that nothing had changed. I kind of get it though, your mom is an alcoholic and spent her days in bed for months, he's worried that she'll have a relapse and things will go back to how they were.

Once on the bus I plopped down in the nearest empty seat. I glanced around and saw that neither Emily nor Jackson was on the bus yet, and then I remembered that they got on the bus after I did. Darn it, baby Bentley has got my brain all scrambled lately. I feel like _I'm_ the one who had a baby. I decided to try and clear my head by taking a short nap before the bus pulled into the school.

I had just gotten relaxed and almost asleep when I felt the seat underneath me move abruptly. It surprised me to the point that I nearly yelped out loud. I jerked my head to my left and saw that it was Emily and she was all smiles and behind us I could see Jackson was seated by himself. Almost immediately Emily started talking a mile a minute, and in my sleep-deprived state I could only catch every few words. But I caught enough to catch the drift of what she was saying, apparently her and Kaleb's four-month anniversary is coming up, and she heard from some of her other friends that Kaleb was going to surprise her by taking out into the 'big city', as Kaleb called it, which actually meant that he was driving up to Dodge City. Seeing as how we lived in a small town in Kansas, Dodge City was our get away. **(a/n: I may have said a different city, but I couldn't find it in my prev. chpts. So please go with it until I can find the correct one.)**

"Bella, did you hear a word I said?" Emily asked somewhat annoyed. I was still out of it, and managed to mutter out a lame apology, and she was smart enough to see that I wasn't purposely ignoring her. Emily went on to ask what was wrong with me, but I just brushed it off and told her that I would tell her later. I changed the subject to that of Rosalie finally having her baby, and that it was a boy. Emily immediately squealed so high and loud that I had to cover my ears.

"Oh. My. God. When? Bella, you have to tell me everything! Rose swore she was having a boy, and I told her I thought it would be a boy! How is he doing?" Emily said rather fast, mushing every word together almost. I laughed and explained that he was ok, and that she decided to name him Bentley James Hale. Emily loved that name and asked if I thought Rose would bring the baby into work sometime. I told her I wasn't sure, but I bet if we asked she would be happy to show him off.

I decided to leave off the part where she was now moved in with us, not because I thought it was a bad idea, but that it wasn't my information to tell, if Rosalie brought it up, then fine, but I wasn't about to be the one to tell and end up in trouble.

After, what felt like hours, about fifteen more minutes we finally arrived at school and we spilled out of the bus and made our way into school. As I was walking with Emily and Jackson to meet up with Kaleb and Raven, I saw him, Edward, he was with his sister, Alice, and they were getting out of his car, the car that was painfully out of place compared to everyone else's. This was a small town, a lot of people who had their own cars were either junkers, pick-up trucks, or they were their parents' cars, but to have your own car that looked show room new, that was something that set you apart from the rest of the kids.

I attempted to pretend as if I hadn't seen him get out of his car, but it was too late, he smiled his damned crooked grin and I couldn't help but wave back at him like a bumbling idiot, and to make matters worse his sister saw and waved eagerly at me, and when I waved back she took this as a sign to run over and take me in the biggest, most uncomfortable hug ever and after I struggled to breathe she finally let go of me so that I could regain my breath. For a nearly five-foot tall girl, who not to mention was shorter than me by an inch or two, she was strangely strong.

"Hi Bella, if you didn't already know I'm Alice, and I know you already met my brother Edward, I'm just glad that you're ok, I mean Edward told me what happened during your Biology class. Is your finger ok?" Alice asked as she took my hand in hers and inspected it for herself before I could even form a response. I managed to mumble that I was ok, and that it was feeling better.

To be honest, I still had to keep it wrapped most of the time, not because it was bleeding or anything, but that if I ever caught a glance at it I would start to get queasy. I didn't like the sight of blood, not to mention I would ever be reminded that I had been an idiot and sliced my finger good during the dissection part of Biology.

"Well, I'm just glad that all you needed were stitches." Alice beamed as she clasped my hand between hers and smiled warmly. I just nodded and made a lame excuse that I needed to be getting to class, and then I remembered that she and I had the same first class, we both shared English, and I stopped in my tracks and laughed nervously.

"Bella, are you alright? You seem a bit on edge today, is it something I said?" Alice asked softly. Her face turned from her normal happy-go-lucky grin to sincere concern. I nodded and said that I was just tired and that I didn't get much sleep. I almost blabbed that silly Bentley kept me awake all night, but caught myself in time.

"Maybe Edward should walk with us to class, I mean you look dead on your feet, oop, sorry if that is a little too forward, but I don't want you passing out and hitting your head." Alice said, and I saw that Emily and Jackson shook their heads in agreement. I sighed in defeat and just gave in and agreed. Emily and Jackson went off to their class and I was left to walk with Edward and Alice to my English class. I couldn't help but steal glances at Edward as we walked. Last time I saw him he and I had bumped into each other on my way home the other day, and the fact that there was something that he wanted to say to me, but didn't ran through my head. I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't find my voice to do so, and just as I had finally managed to gather the courage, we had reached my class and Edward said a quick goodbye and left to get to his class.

I just sighed and trudged in and went to sit down in my normal seat.

I really needed to work on my timing.

**A/N: So what did you think? Sorry if some of my information wasn't consistent from previous chapters, it's been awhile since I wrote a chapter for this story, and I tried to look back at my other chatpers, but didn't work out too well. **

**Once this story is finished I plan to go back and make everything consistent all the way through. So until then please bear with me. As for the schedule here it is: English (with Alice), History (was with Edward but now just Jackson), Study hall, lunch, Algebra, and Biology.**

**Hope this helps, and please help me out if you know what things aren't the same (but please be nice about it lol)**

**Again, please read and review! :)**


	14. Is Today Over Yet?

**A/N: So didn't get very many reviews for the last chapter, but I'm going to keep going, because there is still more to write and I hope that as I keep writing that I will gain my reviewers back lol. So this chapter will have some Bella and Edward action, along with some drama, what kind of story would it be if there wasn't any drama? Lol here is chapter 14! :)**

_**Previously in Needing To Let Go**_

_I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't find my voice to do so, and just as I had finally managed to gather the courage, we had reached my class and Edward said a quick goodbye and left to get to his class. _

_I just sighed and trudged in and went to sit down in my normal seat. _

_I really needed to work on my timing._

**Bella POV:**

Lunch finally came and none too soon, I was finally able to try and at least talk to Edward, but unfortunately before I got to him Heidi dug her claws in him and dragged him over to sit with her and her friends. I sighed and mentally pictured Heidi being struck by lightning, but of course I had to ruin it when I realized that she couldn't die, that would only lead to bad karma, and I had enough that already.

Need I be reminded daily that I am basically an orphan, both parents are dead, grandparents, on either side, don't want to take care of me, or can't handle the added responsibility of one. But I didn't want to be a bother to them, they would send the occasional postcard/greeting card to say hello, and I would reply back with the same. I always made sure to leave out the part where all three of us had jobs and were struggling just to pay the bills for the farm.

"Bella, hello, earth to Bella, are you still with us?" Emily said as she snapped her fingers in front of my face to get my attention. I shook my head to get back into focus and realize that I had been staring in Edward's direction.

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry must've zonked out on you. Been uber tired lately." I said as a yawn escaped from my lips. I knew I was 'too old' for naps, but I could see one in my future when I got home from school. I shuffled to the usual table all of us sat at and plopped down and just played around with my food, I hadn't been much in an eating mood lately, and I didn't want my friends looking suspicious so I made sure to make it look like I had at least eaten some of my food.

"Ooo, can I have your bag of Cheetos's if you ain't gonna eat them." Kaleb asked as he started to reach for them. I gladly gave them up and sighed. It wasn't that I was sick or anything, but I just didn't feel good. The best way I could describe how I was feeling, was just…blah. I've felt this way off and on for a while now, and some would say, _"It's ok to feel this way Bella, you just lost your parents, and anyone in your shoes would feel that way." _Well, I've got news for them, it's nothing like anyone could imagine. It constantly feels like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, there are times where I feel just fine, then out of nowhere I feel this overwhelming sadness and loss. I know the loss if from my parents, but it doesn't help the feelings I have.

I didn't want to admit it, but I think I would have to talk to a doctor about this.

_Great Bella, now you sound like those cheesy pharmaceutical commercials for depression._

But I think it was to that point, I would have to go see a doctor about this, and it would have to be on my own, I didn't want anyone to know that I was even considering seeing a doctor. This is a small town, and even if one person finds out it seems like the entire town knows your dirty laundry.

_Rrriiinnngg!_

Lunch was over; I sighed and dumped my food in the trash and placed my tray down on the conveyer belt and followed my friends out of the cafeteria and trudged down the hallway to the main area all the students hang out at as they head to their next class.

I groaned softly to myself, my next class was Algebra, none of my friends were in it, and the teacher, ugh the teacher, she was one of those teachers who go through the lesson plan without stopping then at the very end she takes a few questions, but the quickly stops after those few questions and hands out the homework, which leaves you sitting there confused in silence and wary of asking for help since she was so in a hurry to finish the lesson.

Yeah, that was my teacher in a nutshell. She may be a decent human being, but teacher, not for this subject, not Algebra four, talking about something to do with something being infinite, and then when she had it on the board on a graph it formed a U-shape, then it was either positive or negative.

I gave up trying to understand the assignment and immediately started secretly working on my History homework and reading from chapter 13 to chapter 15 and doing all three sets of questions at the end of each chapter.

Oddly enough, the teacher could've cared less what we were doing, all she cared about was scrolling through her phone until the bell rang.

Yup, she was one of those teachers who taught the whole lesson for the day for the entire class period and left about ten minutes for us to work on it, and didn't even bother to see if we were working on it; other teachers, they would've jumped all over you if you even dared to do another class assignment during their class period.

I kept stealing glances at the clock, I swear, there were a few times I saw the clock move backwards instead of forwards.

Since when have I started dreading school? I mean I never was one of those kids who eat, drink and think about school, but this was ridiculous. I just wanted to get out of this classroom as fast as possible. The more I thought about it, the more I realized, even though Bentley keeps me up most nights, I really missed the little guy, I considered him part of our family.

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard the bell for the end of math class. I hated Algebra with a passion, it may come easy for some, but for me, well let's just say that I would be a lot better off if I just stuck with my English classes. English was my favorite subject, but then that may be because I was an avid reader, and I've often caught myself writing short stories in my notebooks during classes when time allowed.

As I weaved my way through all the other kids talking with friends on their way to their own last class of the day, I overheard one person mention something about how the local bar had recently installed a mechanical riding bull, and that they planned to go down and have a turn at riding on it. Then it got me thinking that maybe I could have a chance at riding it.

_Get a grip Bella, you're a complete klutz on two feet, imagine what would happen if you were stupid enough to get on a mechanical bull jerking all around._

I let out a long exasperated sigh and agreed silently, that getting on that bull would be nothing but trouble. As I got to my locker to exchange out books for the next class I saw Emily bouncing up towards me with Kaleb hurrying close behind her. It was obvious that she had some exciting news to share, and by the look on Kaleb's face he was just as excited.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, you'll never guess who invited the entire school to their party, you'll never guess!" Emily managed to say between squealing and almost hyperventilating from excitement. It took me a few seconds to fully grasp what Emily had spewed out all at once, and once I had, I proceeded to ask her who, in fact, had invited the entire school to a party. It was apparently Edward Cullen and his sister who invited the entire school over to their house for a party. According to Emily, people have been saying that they have parties wherever they happen to live, as a way of making their presence known in town, and to get to know everyone in town. Kaleb added that it was Edward and Alice's turn to invite the guests, and that it was Alice's idea to invite everyone from school.

Just then the halls were filled static from the outdated PA system, then a voice came on over the speakers, and if I had to guess, it was Alice, and it was only because her voice was very noticeable and plus she almost sounded like a flock of birds chirping on a spring evening. Alice went on to announce exactly what Emily and Kaleb had just told me, that her and brother, Edward, were throwing a party this Friday night, and that everyone would be invited. Alice proceeded to give the address of their home and what time to show up. Plus, seeing as it was nearing Halloween costumes were to be worn.

Great, which meant all the costumes would go fast, and by the time I had a chance to make my way over to the local Wal-Mart, I would be left with a choice between the bottom half a cow costume and a lame excuse for a witch. I then remembered my costume I wore for handing out candy the past Halloweens. It wasn't exactly a costume; mainly just a colored wig then wore a black pointed hat.

I let out a sigh and realized that my lame attempt at costumes, even the ones for handing out candy were just ludicrous and I would have to do the most unthinkable thing. I would have to ask Raven for help with a costume. Raven absolutely loved Halloween, heck; it was her favorite holiday of all time. I would have to make sure to remind her that I wouldn't want to go as anything 'scary' but something more 'unlike me' than I already was, if that made any sense.

"Doesn't it sound exciting?! I'm going to have to rethink my whole costume idea now. Bella, you should come with me and Raven to go costume shopping, we've found this one place that has countless costumes to choose from, maybe we can get you a costume that will have Edward Cullen trailing after you like a helpless stray puppy." Emily cheered as she skipped around me in excitement. I sighed and just nodded my head, I wasn't sure how to say no, or that I even wanted to say no, but I knew that I would have to make sure it was ok with Jazz and Emmett that I go to the party.

"When would we go shopping? I mean, you and I got Delilah's to think about, and with Rose still on maternity leave Maude will lose her cool if either one of us doesn't show up for our shifts." It was true, Maude could have a temper if things weren't exactly how she had planned out, and if we deviated from her schedule, even a little, she would tear into us and go into the office and not speak a word to any of us for the rest of the shift. Now that I think about it, that was actually rather lucky for us when that would happen, that meant that we could sigh a breath of relief and not have to walk on eggshells around her.

_Rrrriiinnngg!_

That was the final bell, which meant that I was late for class, just my luck I suppose. I quickly said my goodbyes and bolted down the hallway to try and get to class before Mr. Redding got started teaching. Once I rounded the final corner to get to the homestretch I collided hard with something, correction, make that someone. When we collided my books went skidding along the floor, and I silently cursed to myself. This isn't what I needed right now, and now I knew for sure that I would be late, and possibly get a detention. Now, you're probably thinking, _"How could she get a detention for being late to Biology?"_ Well, this would be my fourth tardy to class, and that I would end up written up for it.

"You're Bella right? We have the same English class, first period?" The voice said as I got to my knees and hurriedly scooped up my things. I glanced up and saw that it was Alice, Edward's sister, I had bumped into. I could feel my cheeks start to flush with embarrassment, and I couldn't find any words to form a complete sentence so I just nodded my head yes and smiled nicely. I couldn't help but stare at Alice; she looked amazing in what she was wearing. I bet she shopped in all those fancy malls with her mom and all the friends she made since she and her family moved to town.

Today, Alice was wearing a lilac graphic t-shirt that had a faded feel to it, the design resembled the Eiffel tower, then some sort of writing over it. I wasn't looking close enough to be sure. She was also wearing a jean skirt that came just above the knees and had on leggings underneath her skirt that matched her shirt. Alice looked very…popular. But the vibe I was getting was the complete opposite. Usually the popular kids in school make an extra effort to avoid me like the plague.

"I knew it; you're on your way to Biology right? Edward has that with you. Hey, maybe I should walk with you to class. I can explain to Mr. Redding that it was completely my fault, that way you won't get in trouble." Alice said as she picked up my Biology book off the floor and handed it back to me. I smiled and nodded. I tried to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but Alice wouldn't have any of it. I just sighed and gave in. She went on to say that I was to think of it as her being friendly.

"You're coming to my party aren't you Bella, because I know that Edward would be happy to have you there." Alice said with a cheeky grin. I sighed and tried to think up an excuse on the fly, but nothing would come to mind. We were right outside the room, and could hear that Mr. Redding had already started teaching. The 'Izzy' inside of me wanted to take off running and skip class, but I couldn't do that with Alice standing right here. I swallowed the lump in my throat and knocked on the door, when the teacher asked us to come in; I sighed and opened the door.

"Well, I see that you managed to grace us with your presence again Ms. Swan, you do know that this is your fourth tardy don't you?" I could tell that Mr. Redding secretly was enjoying humiliating me in front of the other kids in class. All the teachers liked doing that I think; it was a way to make an example of us for the others of what _not_ to do.

"No sir, it was completely my fault, I had accidentally bumped into Bella and knocked all of her books out of her hand." Alice said almost too sweetly. I couldn't help but laugh to myself at how stunned Mr. Redding looked when he heard Alice's explanation. Mr. Redding is a stickler for attendance and the fact that Alice was able to charm the pants off of him, and get me out of trouble was nothing shorter than a miracle.

Class went on as normal, boring lecture followed by boring lab work. Edward was oddly silent next to me. He didn't even try to bring up what happened last time we saw each other, or what was going on with me and his sister. I sighed and debated with myself whether or not to bring it up to him. I never was good at talking to the opposite sex, boys, but then I talked to Kaleb and Jackson just fine. I guess it was just that I kind of liked Edward.

There were plenty of times I could've just blurted something out, but then there would be the risk of getting in trouble for talking during class. Because lord knows that Mr. Redding was itching to get me on something since he wasn't able to get me on being late to his class again.

"So, since when do you spend time with my sister?" Edward whispered to me as we took turns looking into the microscope at the different cell phases on a piece of an onion. From what I could gather by the tone in his voice he sounded more curious than irritated. I shrugged it off and casually explained what happened and that she decided to cover for me.

"Well, you better be careful, now that she did a favor for you she may end up wanting one in return." Edward said with his stupid crooked grin that made me weak at the knees. I even felt my breathing get caught in my throat at that exact moment too. Something about him made me all giddy and girly, things that I was neither. "But don't worry, she'll just probably ask you to go shopping with her, or just come over for dress up, or as she likes to call it 'modeling her collection'. Me, well I think it is just a fancy way of saying 'dress up'." Edward said with a chuckle. I couldn't help but smile back at him. Alice didn't seem all that bad, but I really wasn't one to get all dressed up for things, just give me jeans and a t shirt and I'd be just fine.

To say that I was nervous about this party this Friday was an understatement, especially now that I knew that Alice wanted me to come, and that I would have to have a spectacular costume to impress her. Boy, I just hoped that I didn't make a complete idiot out of myself there.

**A/N: Hello all, thank you for bearing with me in updating this story, and thank you to all who have reviewed and read this story, it means a lot to me. Plus, I think I am to the point, where I may need a beta for this story. My writing is ok, but I tend to have a lot of typo's and inconsistencies that I haven't been able to catch. If you or anyone that you know is a beta, and is willing to overhaul this story, please let me know! :)**

**Thank you again and please keep reading and reviewing! :)**

**P.S. what do you think Bella should go as for the costume party she's going to? (Which will be in the next chapter btw) ;)**


	15. Let The Fun Begin

**A/N: I'm going to start adding recommendations for fanfics to read :) so if you want your story added make sure you tell me either in a pm or in the reviews :)**

_**Previously on Needing To Let Go**_

_To say that I was nervous about this party this Friday was an understatement, especially now that I knew that Alice wanted me to come, and that I would have to have a spectacular costume to impress her. Boy, I just hoped that I didn't make a complete idiot out of myself there._

* * *

**Bella POV:**

"Bella, would you please hold still, this costume is going to look awesome on you, and I can't believe that we get to wear masquerade masks with our costumes too at the party." Emily gushed as she finished applying the final touches to my costume. We, we meaning Emily, Raven, and I, all went out and looked for the perfect costumes to wear to the party tonight.

I still wasn't completely sure why I was going in the first place, but then I remembered what Emily told me, Edward would be there and that meant I had a chance to show off for him without him knowing who I was.

_Thank you Alice and your masquerade masks!_

If there were no masks required I would've backed out a long time ago. I didn't do very well with large crowds; I guess you could say that I am a bit claustrophobic at times. That's the reason why I hardly ever go to any of the parties, that, and well, I'm never invited to any parties to even decline.

"There you go Bella, all done! I have to say, that you look very sexy in that costume, if Edward doesn't notice you in that then he's as blind as a bat." Emily teased and I saw Raven nod in agreement in my reflection. I felt my breath catch in my throat when I got a real good look at myself. I thought it was stupid at first that I decided on picking out that angel costume, but after Raven and Emily took it home and made their own personal alterations, it didn't look like the same costume at all.

The neckline was a low V-neck, any lower the costume wouldn't be an "angel" anymore, then there was the waist; it had a corset-look to it, then the skirt of the costume stopped a few inches above my knees with a lace fringe at the bottom. The wings were pretty good too, they looked very 'realistic' and not to cliché for Halloween thankfully. I opted not to wear the halo, mainly because when I had it on I just felt dorky with it on, thankfully Emily and Raven agreed with me. I held up my white mask in front of my face. It had intricate glitter-floral design along the mask, centering on the eyes, it matched my costume perfectly.

"I bet all the boys, heck, everyone at the party, will drool when they see you." Emily giggled as she started putting on her costume. She decided to go as Snow White, from 'Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs. Now, if you are expecting her to go with the classic costume, you'd be wrong. Did I forget to mention that Raven and Emily dragged me to a costume store, and not to the local Wal-Mart store, where the costumes were more elaborate and for costume parties, at least that's what the sales clerk said to us as we shopped through the store.

Emily's Snow White costume was a yellow tank top with red stripes down the top and onto the blue skirt; the skirt poofed out a bit, a spoof on the ball gown-type skirt. Now, Emily is a bit more modest than Raven and, like me didn't like that the skirt was too short so she managed to lower the blue skirt a bit so that it was a closer to her knees than where it had been. Also, imagine Snow White in the movie, and that uncomfortably-looking collar she has around her neck and that was a part of her costume as well. To accessorize with the outfit she styled her hair, by perming it then adding the red bow in her hair then put on the red calf-high boots to match, as well as a crimson-colored mask with royal blue trim along the edge.

Finally, Raven's costume was a complete opposite for her personality. She went with a cat costume, but it was a very beautiful one, and not one of the cheap ones. She had a black dress with a corset waist with pink ribbons for the corset. The skirt of the dress had leopard print fringe, along with a leopard print shawl/hood that had cat ears on the top. Raven was just putting on her leopard print heeled shoes and finishing up putting on her whiskers and pinning her tail to the back of her dress. Lastly, she added her black mask that she had bought and even added the leopard print fringe to it.

"I can't believe how awesome we look, the boys are gonna be blown away when they get a load of us." Emily said as she grinned ear to ear. I couldn't agree more, you would think with how shy I was I would detest Halloween, but it was the complete opposite. Halloween was my one night a year I could be someone else and no one would care who I was or judge me. Emily giggled and ran to get her phone to take a group picture of just us girls. We crammed close together as much as we could into the mirror to get us all in frame.

"Wow, you girls look amazing! Bella, do your brothers know you're dressing like that?" Rosalie asked with a quizzical look on her face. I sighed and felt my shoulders slump a bit. Jasper and Emmett would flip if they saw my costume and that I planned to go out in public like this. I loved them to death, but they were a bit overprotective at times. Thank goodness Rosalie offered to distract them both while we would make our escape out the back door of the kitchen. After we gathered our stuff and went down the stairs we could hear Rosalie talking to Jasper and Emmett as they were coming up the stairs behind her. Thankfully Rosalie was first and waved us off furiously trying to give us heads up that my brothers were coming, so we ran for it and hid inside the bathroom. I peeked outside and saw Rosalie lead them both into her room, she was asking something construction related, I think something to do with Bentley, when I saw her give us the OK to run downstairs and head out the front door.

We didn't need to be told twice, and we headed down the stairs as quietly as we could. I was the last one out when I heard, who I thought was Jasper, ask where I was going, but I shut the door before I they could finish that sentence.

"Quick, into my car guys." Raven whispered harshly as we ran as fast as we could in our heels without falling. Thankfully I remembered to get my bigger purse and had stored my white ballet flats in there in case my feet started to ache from my white high heel shoes Emily forced me to buy. Once inside we sighed with relief and Raven started up the car. Emily asked if we were picking up the boys, or if we were meeting them at the party and Raven answered that we would pick them both up at Kaleb's house. I rolled my eyes when I remembered that Emily made Kaleb coordinate costumes, meaning that Kaleb would be prince charming, and as for Jackson? Raven was like me in that department and allowed him to wear whatever costume he wanted.

We got to Kaleb's house and both boys were waiting on the front step for us to arrive. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw Kaleb's costume. I could tell that he wasn't all too pleased that he had to wear. I could only guess that Emily had a hand in picking out his costume, because it matched the prince's wardrobe from the movie almost to a T. He had a royal blue mask on and a fake plastic sword to match even. Then there was Jackson, he looked very handsome in his costume. I'm not sure where he got it, but he made the most amazingly hot military man ever. The the uniform, wait costume, looked almost legit. Apparently it was, because Jackson couldn't find a costume, and got to Kaleb's with no costume. His mom let Jackson borrow Kaleb's older brother's spare camouflage uniform for tonight, and instead of a tangible mask, like the rest of us were wearing, he just put on forest green mixed with some brown paint to give the illusion of trying to 'blend' in.

"Well, don't you all look gorgeous?" Kaleb asked with a playful grin. We all rolled our eyes and Emily playfully smacked his shoulder. The conversation was mainly just where we got our costumes and how we were coming with the latest homework assignment or what not.

Before we all knew it we were at the party and all got out of the car and made our way inside to the party. I looked around and saw a sea of masked faces and heard nothing but the loud pounding of the bass of the music playing. I was shocked at how open and big the living room was, I mean, I thought my living room was big, but this? I bet you could fit my living room in here twice and still have room left over for more. Raven announced to the group that her and Jackson were going to go dance and have some fun, and that they would catch up with us later. My anxiety started to climb a little bit. I liked the anonymity of wearing a mask, but at the same time that was also a bit disconcerting.

Kaleb offered to get us something to drink, and we gladly accepted. I linked arms with Emily and leaned in close to her ear and asked if she wanted to go look around for a bit while we waited. We took in all the party as we walked around. There were a lot of different costumes, but there were your normal costumes: the witch, astronaut, and all the other typical costumes. I couldn't help but groan with annoyance when I saw Heidi dancing with some football player.

How did I know it was Heidi? Well, it doesn't take a genius when she wore her cheerleading costume and added fake blood around her lips, and zombie makeup. Not much imagination I guess.

"Can you believe Heidi wore her cheer uniform to a costume party? Talk about unoriginal." Emily shouted in my ear so that I could hear her over the music. I just nodded and laughed that we had spotted the same lack of originality. But then that was Heidi, she always went for the east A.

Time passed and no Kaleb. We both asked where he was, and I finally offered to go look for him, and that's when I ran into Alice. Thankfully neither one of us was knocked down. She was dressed as a fairy, no scratch that, a pixie, she had on a tinker bell costume and even the blonde wig to match it, along with the cute green slippers, wait no, make that green high heeled shoes. What was it with the girls I knew and high heels? I'll never understand the big deal about them, I can't even look at high heels, because if I do all I see is me falling and twisting, or breaking, an ankle.

"Wow Bella, you look amazing in that costume!" Alice squealed as she took me by the hands and took a step back to get a better look at me. She couldn't believe how amazing I looked in the costume and asked me where I got it, and if there were any more, something to do with buying it for next year or for any costume parties she would get invited to in the future. I couldn't help but laugh at how all over the place she could be. But then I had a sneaking suspicion that she was always like this.

"Well thank you Alice, I went with a couple friends to a local costume shop, and then I let my best friend, Emily, do a little alteration to it and then, well, ta da!" I said with a grin. Alice loved it and made a mental note (out loud though) that she would have to meet this Emily, because they had the same taste in fashion.

As the night went on I saw no sign of Edward anywhere. I decided that he decided not to dress up and was locked up in his room away from everyone here. I finally met up with Emily, Raven, and the boys after what seemed like forever. As I got closer I saw Emily and Kaleb making out in the corner, which was normal for them lately for some reason, and Raven and Jackson were a few yards away dancing to what I think was a remixed version of Gangnam Style. I let out a sigh and decided to delay the reunion and weaved my way through the crowd to the punch table and when I finally got there I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw…_him_. He wasn't wearing any costume, but he was wearing a black mask over his eyes, I guess he wasn't much for dressing up.

"My sister told me I might find you here Bella. Very nice costume, it's suited for you." I couldn't tell if he was being genuine or if he was being condescending. But when I saw that damned crooked smile I knew then that it wasn't either one. He was baiting me, trying to see how I would react to his observation.

"Now, I'm not quite sure whether I should take that as a compliment Edward Cullen, or if I should be offended." I said playfully with a hint of sincerity. I could tell that I hadn't cracked him and silently groaned as he started to smile with a smug look about him.

"Well, I hope as a compliment Bella, never as anything else, especially since you are a daughter of the holy god himself." Edward said as he started to laugh. As much as I wanted to scoff and roll my eyes I couldn't help but start laughing myself. I knew what he was trying to say, and to sound romantic but it just came out cheesy as hell. I turned around and grabbed a cup full of punch and gingerly took a sip of the drink and immediately gagged and held out the drink at arm's length.

"What's in this drink? It tastes like someone washed their dirty socks in this or something." I said with a soured expression. Edward laughed then ever so slightly leaned over to get a better whiff of the drink and stiffened almost immediately. The expression on his face, if I hadn't already had a sneaking suspicion why he was upset, would've scared the living daylights out of me. Edward then stormed over to the punch bowl and picked it up and stormed into the kitchen with it. I scurried along behind him and as I was about to ask him what he was thinking about doing with the bowl I saw him pour the whole thing down the drain.

"Someone spiked the punch bowl Bella, thankfully you didn't drink more of it, otherwise who knows how you'd be feeling." Edward said with a stern, but caring look in his eye. I couldn't help but smile back at him. But then I thought, _"He probably just doesn't want to get caught with alcohol at a party with underage kids."_ That made more sense than him caring about me like I thought he did.

"Hey, did it hurt baby?" I turned and saw a guy who looked like he had one too many 'special' punch drinks standing in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen.

"Did what hurt?" I asked with a hint of irritation. I could only imagine the cheesy pickup line this guy would try and use on me. I'm sure something relating to heaven, how old.

"When you fell from heaven, 'cause baby, you're an angel." And the idiot started cracking up at his own joke. I rolled my eyes and laughed to shut him up, but it wasn't sincere in the slightest. I rolled my eyes and tried to brush him off as gently as I could without being too mean. He didn't seem to grasp the concept of me shooting him down, because he sauntered over closer to me and tried to feel me up and stuck his nose in my hair and took in a deep breath. I couldn't help but cringe and try pushing him away, and he just latched on tighter, so tight that I let out a gasp and winced as I felt his hand tighten on my wrist. He drunkenly tried to calm me down with, _"Awe, don't be that way baby, we could make sweet music together."_ and a bunch of other gross and cheesy pickup lines. I kept refusing and pleaded with I'm to let me go. What happened next happened so fast that I still couldn't believe it happened.

Edward stormed over to us and next thing I knew the guy was on the ground holding his nose and groaning that it hurt, and by all the blood I could only assume that Edward broke the guy's nose. I rubbed my wrist, which would have a nice size bruise in the morning it looked like. Edward walked over to me and took my face in his hands and looked me in the eye and asked if I was ok. I was in shock with what happened within a matter of seconds that all I could do was just nod my head. He whispered what I think was, _"good" _and he gently took off my mask so that he could look me in the eye. I couldn't move, my legs felt like jelly. I felt our lips inching closer and closer. I was intoxicated by his choice of cologne and felt my head start to whirl. Once our lips touched it felt like a smoldering fire, but I liked it and it only encouraged me to further the kiss. I couldn't help myself and as the kiss got more and more passionate and intense I felt like I had to anchor myself to him, so I ran my fingers through his hair and latched on as if my life depended on it.

"Ahem, excuse me, but brother dear we have angry thirsty guests here that want more punch." Both Edward and I jumped nearly out of our skin at the sudden voice of Alice standing in the doorway with a smirk on her face. I could feel my cheeks blush a nice shade of pink and quickly excused myself. I heard Edward start to call out to stop me, but was cut off by Alice ordering him to make the new batch of punch. I couldn't help but smile as I walked back to where my friends were. My lips felt warm and were buzzing with sensation that was foreign to me. I couldn't help but run my fingertips over my lips, they felt swollen, but I think I liked it, I liked the sensation they gave me.

"Hello, earth Bella, Bella?" Raven said as she snapped her fingers in front of my face to catch my attention. I shook my head to gather my thoughts and looked to Raven who was grinning ear to ear. She asked me what had me in such a good mood, and Emily playfully teased right along with her. I just rolled my eyes and tried to play dumb, but they were too smart for that and ordered for me to spill whatever it was that I was hiding. I rolled my eyes and laughed nervously. I whispered to them that I had kissed Edward.

"No way, no effin' way! You kissed Edward Cullen, _The_ Edward Cullen? O.M.G you finally made a move on that hot piece of Chicago yumminess?" Emily said with a playful smirk, too bad that both Kaleb and Jackson heard because they were both wide-eyed and grinning ear to ear. I just rolled my eyes and tried to brush it off, but secretly I wanted to just crawl in a hole and die. I hated that they were making a big deal over nothing, well it wasn't exactly anything.

"Ok, ok, guys laugh it up, yes I kissed Edward, now let's just have a fun and dance, or otherwise I'm going to go home." I said playfully in hopes that they would catch on and save the teasing for another time, hopefully that time would never come.

_XxXxXxXxXxX_

As the party started to slowly die down it was well past one in the morning, and I was officially and royally screwed. If Jasper and Emmett were up, which they were, I would be in so much trouble. But then there was the possibility that I could argue that we never really agreed on a set time for me to be home. However, I knew that that wouldn't fly even for a second.

Both Raven and Emily were tired and fighting back yawns, and we all decided to call it a night, so we went and found Alice and thanked her for inviting us while Kaleb and Jackson offered to pull around the car. Raven and Emily started for the door, but Alice stopped me and asked if I was ok. Apparently Edward had been forced to explain what happened in the kitchen earlier, and wanted to apologize for allowing someone to spike the punch. I assured her that I was fine, and that nothing happened, which she seemed to buy that. I guess Edward neglected to mention that he and I shared the most intense and passionate kiss I ever had, which I was eternally grateful for.

"Seeing you wear this costume has me thinking that you and I need to go shopping for new clothes for your closet, because the other clothes you have pale in comparison, and I won't take no for an answer. Of course you can bring your friends too; we can make it a shopping trip." Alice said as she beamed. How in God's name could she be this chipper as two a.m. neared?

I told her I would have to think about it, but that I more than likely would agree to it.

With that I left and caught up with Emily and Raven as we waited for Kaleb and Jackson. After a few minutes they finally showed up and we all got in, and it was collectively decided that since Raven, Emily, and I could barely keep our eyes open that Jackson would drive us all home. Raven tried to protest, but gave up almost immediately as she snuggled into Emily's shoulder, who was snuggled into Kaleb's in the back seat. I opted to sit up front, but found that my head felt heavier as sleep crept in more and more.

I decided to rest my head against the window just for a bit. This was a big mistake because just as I had finally got comfortable I was roused from sleep by Jackson telling me that we were in front of my house. I groaned softly and gathered up all my things and got out of the car and took this as an opportunity to switch shoes. It was a wonder that I hadn't fallen in them before now. Once I was finally in my ballet flats I shuffled up the driveway and up to the house. I heard Jackson holler out that he'd see me tomorrow and I just waved to him letting him know I heard him. I was just too tired to respond verbally.

I got to the front door and held the doorknob in my hand. I let out a sigh and prepared to be bombarded with questions like it was Spanish Inquisition, but when I opened the door and peeked in I saw the exact opposite. The lights were off in the entire house, well, all of them except for the upstairs hallway light.

_Hmm, guess I was wrong. Maybe I'm in the clear…for now?_

I shuffled up the stairs towards my bed. I knew I should change into my pajamas, but I was just too tired to even care about that. I collapsed on my bed and sighed as I felt my body hit the cool sheets that were my bed. I didn't know what it was about cool sheets, but it had an almost relaxing property about it. I gladly welcomed it, and soon found my thoughts begin to feel fuzzy as I slipped into much needed slumber. I could only imagine the trouble I could be in for in the morning, but for now, I just didn't care.

* * *

**A/N: (PICTURES OF COSTUMES CAN BE FOUND ON MY PROFILE)**

**so what did you think? :) Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and please let me know your thoughts! :) Oh, and I forgot to mention this, but I am in search of a beta for this story. I have punctuation issues (mainly commas) that I try to fix, but still manage to miss! Please if you, or someone you know is open to being my beta please pm me !**

**Oh and look at my website I made for my fan fiction! Its (flutetenorsaxplayer2008 . weebly .com ) and if that doesn't work then put that into Google it should come up! :) **

**Again, if you want me to recommend a story of yours just let me know via PM or review and I will put it in the next chapter! :) **


	16. A Storm's A-Brewin'

**A/N: Sorry for the very late update :( it's a very long story that will be explained in the bottom author's note so please read at the bottom. But for now just relax and read some of my story, **Needing To Let Go**.**

_**Previously On Needing To Let Go**_

_I collapsed on my bed and sighed as I felt my body hit the cool sheets that were my bed. I didn't know what it was about cool sheets, but it had an almost relaxing property about it. I gladly welcomed it, and soon found my thoughts begin to feel fuzzy as I slipped into much needed slumber. I could only imagine the trouble I could be in for in the morning, but for now, I just didn't care._

**Bella POV:**

"Isabella Marie Swan, get your butt down here right now!" I jerked my head up from my nice, soft pillow when I heard Jasper shouting my name from downstairs. I guess I was wrong when I thought that I had managed to get in the house without getting caught. I groaned as I dragged myself out of bed. Who knew that I was so tired? I mean, I didn't even have any of the spiked punch, I sighed as I quickly rushed to my bathroom tried my hardest to get as much makeup off as I could.

"Isabella Swan, get down here right now!" Now that time, it was Emmett; only Jasper ever used my full name anymore. I hollered downstairs that I was coming, and that I was washing my face first. I hoped to god that I wasn't in trouble. Not that I was worried. I mean, yeah Jasper and Emmett are older than me and legally my guardians, but I really wasn't that scared of them like they thought I was. At least not any more, last time I was scared of either one was back when I was like ten and it was Halloween. But then that's the point of Halloween isn't it?

I hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Rosalie was sitting in front of Bentley's highchair while attempting to feed him some stringed beans or something that was green and mushy, no wonder Bentley didn't want anything to do with the foul smelling baby food. I looked around and saw no Jasper or Emmett anywhere in the kitchen.

"They're in the living room, and you didn't hear it from me, but it sounds like you're still in the clear about the party." Rosalie whispered to me as she finally tricked Bentley into eating a spoonful of the foul-smelling green goo. I had to agree with Bentley when he stuck out his tongue and started to fuss.

_I feel for ya little buddy, but ya gotta eat your veggies, no matter how smelly they are._

I let out a short breath and slowly trudged into the living room. I hoped to god that Rosalie was right, and that I wasn't in trouble, and that it was just something completely harmless.

"There you are Bells, now look, according to the news, and yes I watch things other than ESPN, there is a chance for strong storms today, so before you head off to school, you're going to have to board up the horses in the stable, and the other animals up in the barn." Emmett said with the most serious face I have ever seen him make. I knew that he was serious, and that this was no joke. Jasper went on to say that there had been reports of golf ball size hail and strong wind gusts a couple cities over. Emmett had already showed Rosalie where the storm shelter was, seeing as how she would still be hanging around the house today.

I hated tornado season with a passion, especially since Halloween was in a few days, and we should be experiencing cooler weather and snow flurries, not sixty degree weather and thunderstorms. But then that's one of the perks living here I guess, the weather could be unpredictable at times. I checked the clock above the television and saw that I had about an hour and a half to get the horses put up, and the cow and other animals shut up in the barn.

After I grabbed my coat to go outside, I was immediately overcome with a large gust of wind that nearly knocked me back on my butt. And here I thought that Emmett and Jasper were being overdramatic about this freak storm that was heading this way, guess I was wrong. The horses were out in the pasture, and I could tell that they were getting extra antsy at the strong winds, so I quickly jogged to the pasture and quickly got all three horses into the barn. That's when I realized that Rainbow wasn't already in her stall, and she wasn't in the pasture with the other horses. This meant she had gotten out again and probably went down to the meadow to graze. I didn't have time to go get her, but knew that she would be ok, and that she knew her way back to the farm.

I hurried off to school in the truck after herding all the other animals into the barn and locked it up. I had just gotten to my locker when the bell rang signally the start of classes. I sighed and cursed silently as I slammed my backpack into my locker and grabbed the books I needed. I was so fed up I was seriously considering just skipping class and go hang out in the usual spot Raven, Emily, Kaleb, Jackson, and I would hang out between classes, rather than go and be marked as late to first period.

"Why do you insist on skipping classes every day Bella? Don't you know you need a decent education to get a decent paying job now days?" I turned to see that it was Edward. I was overcome with memories of last night at the party, and the fact that he and I actually kissed. I still remembered every little detail of that amazing kiss. I'm not sure what came over me, but I had the insatiable urge to run my fingers through his hair again and kiss him all over again. I managed to keep those urges hidden from him.

"I have decent grades Edward, and you make it sound like I skip classes every day and don't do homework. So why are you following me?" I asked mischievously as I grinned ear to ear. This was the first time I think I actually saw Edward Cullen blush.

"What makes you think I was following you? For all you know I could have a hall pass to use the bathroom…" Edward trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck. I could tell that he was lying and quite badly I might add. I mean, I know I'm not the most skilled at lying, but I think Edward was just as bad as I am.

I plopped down on a nearby bench and leaned back against it; the clouds seemed to break up and the sun began to shine through. Maybe this storm thing wasn't going to happen after all. Edward sat next to me and looked up the sky, probably wondering why I was being a complete loon and staring up at the sky for no good reason. I remember when I was younger; mom, dad, me, Jasper, and Emmett would all pile in the truck and be our own storm chasing team. We wouldn't get too close to the storm, but just close enough that we could get some awesome pictures and even pretended to be recording the storms.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Mom, look at that cloud! Think it will make a tornado?" I said as I pointed out the passenger-side door. I could see that the clouds were moving fast, and thanks to my science teacher I knew that if clouds were moving in a rotation, then that meant funnel clouds could, and would, form._

_Just as we passed the old Cunningham Farm it started raining and also hailstones that were nearly the size of golf balls started to fall from the sky._

"_Whoa, mom, maybe we should head back, the rain's startin' to pick up." Jasper said as he looked around the truck. He was right, the rain was starting to pick up in intensity, and the windshield wipers could barely keep up._

"_Maybe he's right Trevor, maybe we should head back before it's too late to turn around." My mom said to my dad as she looked at him with worry. Lightening and rain continued to pound down on the old pickup truck. My dad was never one to give up when things were just beginning to get good, but when he looked at my mom, and saw the fear in her eyes he quickly turned the truck around and headed back for home._

"_Wait! Look!" I yelled as I pointed to something out through the windshield a few hundred yards away. The more we all focused on the foreign object ahead, the more clear that what we were seeing was a funnel cloud touchdown and started heading west, that was the direction in which their house was._

_My mom yelled for my dad to head back home quick, while me, Jasper, and Emmett were all worrying about the house and all the animals that needed to be protected from flying debris. When my dad spun the truck around in the middle of a deserted road they saw that the funnel cloud had shifted its course and was headed back towards the truck. Panic started to settle in among all of us as we realized that we didn't have to worry about the farm, but that we had to worry about being picked up by the tornado heading towards them._

"_Mom, I'm scared!" I said as hail and rain started to pick up speed. I yelped again when I saw flying pieces of houses fly past the truck. I also learned in school that it was safer to be in a ditch than a moving vehicle during a tornado, but there were no ditches whatsoever around where we were on the road. Before we knew it the tornado had hopped and skipped over various houses and farms and was inching closer and closer to their truck._

_Mom had us all huddle together, and I remember hearing my mom softly saying a short prayer to keep us all safe. As my mom was praying they felt the truck skid across the pavement as my dad tried his hardest to drive the truck in reverse. As the truck continued to skid closer and closer, I swore the sound of the wind reminded me of a freight train passing by._

_And with a loud thud the car dropped back onto the ground, I took this as an opportunity to peek outside, and saw that everything looked ok; as if nothing had happened, and that there had not been any tornado about to pick up the truck that had me, my mom, dad, and brothers in it._

_END FLASHBACK_

"Earth to Bella…are you still with us?" Edward said as he waved his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my daydream I apparently was in.

"Uh, yeah, sorry I must've drifted off in a daydream or something. So tell me, why did you insist on following me out here and risk getting yourself in trouble?" I just happened to see Edward run his fingers through his hair searching for an answer, that I'm assuming, wouldn't come off as him being a complete stalker.

"I heard that there's supposed to a big storm coming through today, do you think I should be worried?" He asked with that stupid playful grin on his face.

"Well, take it from me, seeing as how I've practically grown up here, when I say that this looks to be a big storm, and you should be worried." I may have sounded like I was joking around, but I was completely serious, and made sure to add that I boarded up the horses and other animals on my farm before going to school. Edward was still not convinced and teased me like I was just overreacting over some itty bitty storm that would pass over and nothing would happen.

Just then there was a loud siren that went off and, of course growing up in tornado alley, I knew that this wasn't a drill. I grabbed Edward's hand, and did my best to ignore the electric spark I felt when our hands touched as I started to pull him back towards the school, when my cellphone went off in my pants pocket. I quickly pulled it out and saw that the caller ID read "Rosalie Hale".

"Bella?! Bella, we heard the sirens, and I was going to the storm shelter like Emmett showed me, but it's completely covered with tree branches and I can't pick them up! I wouldn't ask you to get out in this storm, but I need help." Rosalie sounded scared, but I could tell she was trying her best to hide it, so as to not scare or upset Bentley.

"Ok, um, I'm on my way home, just make sure you stay inside with Bentley." I said then hung up the phone. I glanced at Edward, and he wasn't too pleased with the idea, but reluctantly agreed to drive me out to my house. I repeatedly thanked him as we rushed out to the parking lot to get in his Volvo.

"It doesn't look like its bad enough out here for the siren to go off…or I could be wrong I suppose…" Edward trailed off as I pointed off to the west where there were very dark clouds, with an overlay of grey clouds moving fast in our direction. I decided against rubbing it in about the fact that he was wrong, and impatiently waited for him to get to my house, and hoped to god that it wasn't going to get any worse.

_Oh how I wish I hadn't said that…_

Because Just then the sky opened up and rain started pounding hard on the car as Edward and I were nearing the house. The wipers on his car could barely keep up with the amount of rain that was falling. Then all at once it started to hail, and I jumped when the first big piece pinged off on Edward's car. I felt guilty that I was making him drive me now, seeing as how his Volvo is practically his baby. I was about to apologize, but he stopped me and said that he could get the hail damage fixed. I started having flashbacks of the last time I was out during a severe storm, which even had a tornado. It wasn't a very good feeling, but I managed to keep myself pretty calm.

When we finally got to my house, the hail had stopped, and I raced inside yelling for Rosalie and Bentley to see where they were. But I wasn't even sure they could hear me, because the wind and rain picked up even more, and I swore I heard Edward behind me yelling for me to be careful as he followed after me. I couldn't hear hardly anything other than the sound of the rain pounding down, and the winds whistling and howling.

All At once I came upon Rosalie shielding a screaming Bentley from the winds and rain as she continued to lift the debris covering the storm shelter with one arm. I raced over and I could tell that she was more than happy to see me.

"Bella, I can't get it open, I've tried and tried, but it won't budge." Rosalie said near tears out of frustration, but I couldn't blame her, she had a scared baby in her arms as she was trying to stay calm herself; it wasn't very easy to do.

"Ok, you calm Bentley down and I'll see what I can do." I said as I tried to lift the branches off the shelter. They weren't that heavy, but some of the smaller branches were threaded through the handle to the shelter. Edward caught up with me, he said he had moved his car away from the tree that he had parked by when we pull up, and he helped me move the debris away and we immediately all hurried in and Edward locked the door behind us.

The storm shelter was a cement room with a few shelves of supplies, and a small folding table and two folding chairs off in the corner. It had a few flashlights, but since we were in here during the day, the daylight shown through enough that the flashlights weren't needed.

Rosalie immediately sat down in a chair and rocked a terrified Bentley to try and calm him down. Edward and I just stood there not sure what to do. I still was unsure why he followed me in the first place, but I was glad that he did, because he practically saved me, Rosalie, and baby Bentley.

"Thank you so much for coming Bella, I don't know if Bentley and I would've been able to move it ourselves if you hadn't." Rosalie said as she tried to fight back sobs of relief and panic as she took me into a tight suffocating hug.

"It's no problem Rose, you're like family to us, and besides I'd rather be here and know that you, Bentley and the animals are going to be ok." I said as I hugged her and kissed Bentley's forehead.

All at once the wind started howling and whistling through the cracks of the door as the storm passed over us. All I could do was quietly pray that we all would be ok, and that the worst of the storm would pass over us and we would all be safe. But that wasn't the case this time, because it sounded as if a freight train were passing overtop of us. We huddled together, and even in the current situation, I couldn't help but get a good whiff of Edward's cologne. What can I say, I needed some kind of distraction, and Edward's intoxicating cologne was just what I needed. I even surprised myself when I leaned into Edward as the storm continued to pass over us.

I hoped to god that Jasper, Emmett, and all my friends still at school were all right, and that no one was hurt.

And as quickly as it began, the storm stopped all together, it was eerily silent, no noises, no animals making sounds, or even the wind. We were afraid to go out and assess the damage, hopefully none, but we knew that we had to go out. Edward, being the person he is, he offered to stick his head out first and take a look outside. He slowly walked up the short five steps and unlocked the door and slowly opened the door just a few inches to see if it was ok to come out.

"Bella, Rosalie, you're going to want to come see this…" Edward trailed off as he continued up the steps and opened the door the rest of the way. The sudden bright light blinded all of us for a few seconds, and after our eyes adjusted we walked up the steps to see for ourselves what Edward was talking about. What I saw when I walked out of the shelter, was something I don't think I could ever get over.

"I can't believe it, Bentley and I were just in there too!" Rosalie said in amazement as she took in the entire scene before her.

"Do you think it can be fixed?" I asked absent-mindedly, still in shock about what I was seeing.

"May be, but it will be a few days, maybe even weeks before it can be fixed." Edward said as he kept walking towards the house.

My house, my house was almost half gone; at least the upstairs was on the side of the house. It was like someone took a knife and decided to cut the upstairs off the top of the house. Pieces of the siding were strewn all over the yard, the barn and stable were still intact, and I knew that I would need to go check on the animals, but I was stuck where I stood. My room was gone; it was like someone just picked it up and threw it on the ground.

I wasn't sure how or if it could be fixed, all I knew is that nothing would be the same. I had a suspicion that the house would need to be torn down and built from the ground up. We didn't have that kind of money, and I didn't think the insurance would cover this either. But I was getting ahead of myself, we didn't know anything yet.

But I knew for a fact, no one could prove differently, that the house would need to be rebuilt, and that I would need to let go of the old house I grew up in, because that one was gone.

**A/N: So what did you think? Also, remember to review and let me know your thoughts ;) **

**As for my reason for not updating for a while, it's because my Wi-Fi is shot, I used an app on my phone to produce a Wi-Fi signal for my laptop, but then my phone got upgraded and it 'broke' the app and now I am without internet at my house, and it's too much trouble to go to a Wi-Fi hotspot or to the library so I have a way of updating but it's very tedious. So please bear with me as it takes me a little bit longer to update.**


	17. Change Can Be Refreshing

**A/N: Ok, so to start off I want to thank you all who read this story, those who review, and those who do both. I want to also say that I appreciate those who review as Guests, but know that I can't reply back to you, also to the reviewer who signed their review as **_howdy_** I want to THANK YOU for your insight. I have no idea what exactly insurance would and wouldn't cover. I also would like to pick your brain, but have no way of replying since it was a guest review lol. **

**Ok, enough chit chat, here is the next chapter!**

_**Previously on Needing To Let Go**_

_I wasn't sure how or if it could be fixed, all I knew is that nothing would be the same. I had a suspicion that the house would need to be torn down and built from the ground up. We didn't have that kind of money, and I didn't think the insurance would cover this either. But I was getting ahead of myself, we didn't know anything yet._

_But I knew for a fact, no one could prove differently, that the house would need to be rebuilt, and that I would need to let go of the old house I grew up in, because that one was gone._

**Bella POV:**

I still couldn't believe that our house was gone, I mean nothing was left but a pile of torn apart pieces of the house, and everything was splayed everywhere for what looked to be miles. Rosalie and Bentley were ok, we all were, but Bentley was still fussing a bit as we started walking back towards the house to try and get a better look.

The closer I got the more I started to tear up; everything was destroyed. The barn and stable both looked to be untouched. There was that at least I suppose. I walked off to go check on the animals, leaving Edward and Rosalie behind. I heard Edward shout out after me asking where I was going, I didn't answer, and I'm pretty sure he got the hint that I wanted to be left alone because he didn't follow after me as he usually does.

I wondered if I should call Uncle Charlie and Aunt Renee about this, I mean we talked sometimes over the phone, and he was the only one I could think of that I wanted to talk to at the moment. It was something about Charlie, something about his personality that just managed to calm me down, and he was my last connection to mom and dad. Plus, he would know how to handle all of this mess and figure out of insurance would cover all of this mess and whether or not we would get enough money to be able to rebuild the house.

But I decided to forget about that and kept on walking towards the barn and stable. From what I could tell everything looked to be ok, a few shingles on the stable were missing; a piece of wood from what was left of the house was lodged into the side of the barn.

I decided to take a look in the barn first and was relieved to find out that all the animals seemed to be ok, a little shaken, but ok. I saw that the piece of wood hit the barn in an upward angle so no animals were hurt or anything.

Then I made my way over to the stables, and everything seemed to be ok, horses were somewhat calm, at least calmer than the chickens, pigs, sheep, and cow hiding out in the barn.

I paid extra attention to Rainbow who seemed most calm of the horses in the stable. I smiled when I saw her and gently pet her after she slowly inched her head out over her gate. I still remember when mom and dad 'argued' about when they made the decision to make the stable out of more sturdy materials, especially since we can have pretty bad storms during the storm season.

I bet mom is saying 'told you so' to dad right now about the whole building a 'storm resistant' stable for the horses. Mom was always thoughtful about those kinds of things, mainly because that was where we got most of our money; we would board horses and sometimes dad would charge a bit extra if they needed to be trained for certain contests or events.

"Well, looks like you aren't homeless Rainbow, would you mind if I shared your stall with you?" Rainbow snorted and bobbed her head as if she understood what I was saying and agreed with me. I couldn't help but smile and petted her nose again and went off to check on the other horses. I couldn't let them out into the pasture until all the debris is picked up and we are sure that the fences aren't down or broken.

"Bella, are you in there?" I jumped a bit when I heard the sudden voice of my older brother Jasper coming from outside the stable. I quickly jogged to the open door and was a bit taken aback by the sudden appearance of Jasper and Emmett both standing in the doorway. The looks on their faces were a mixture of worry and relief. I guess they wanted to make sure that I was ok.

"Uh, yeah…I'm right here, we managed to get into the storm shelter before the brunt of the storm hit us. Have you had a chance to look at the house?" I said and immediately wanted to add _"What's left of it at least."_ but managed to keep my mouth shut.

"You mean what's left of the house? Bella, have you not gotten a good look at it? The house is practically demolished. I mean, I know the first floor looks mostly intact but the upstairs-"

"What upstairs Jazz? The whole upstairs is gone, and we don't even know if insurance is going to cover it or not. God, you would think after all that's happened to us, we would've caught a break on this whole mess with the storm." Emmett said as he groaned with frustration, which I completely agreed. First, mom and dad die in a car crash, then we get behind in our bills, and now we have to worry about whether or not the insurance we have will give us enough money to fix the house.

"Well, at least we're all okay, I mean, none of us are hurt or dead. We could always call Uncle Charlie to see if he can come down to try and help us figure everything out. I mean, yeah he's the sheriff up there and all, but we can maybe see if he wants to or can help us out." Jasper always was the one who was always cool and collected, even when the rest of us were running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

All three of us sighed and agreed to try and stay positive even after what's happened. It would be hard, but we needed to make sure that none of would break down and possibly spin out of control; namely me. I managed to stay somewhat sane after mom and dad died. I admit, I let 'Izzy' take over for those first few months after the accident, but recently something snapped me out of my funk. I thought about it and I couldn't help but realize that it was Edward and his family moving to town that somehow snapped me out of spell.

We walked back to what was left of the house to meet back up with Rosalie, Bentley, and Edward, and took inventory of what was broken, missing, or what would need to be done. Edward volunteered to take notes on his smartphone and would email them to me on my phone later.

"I still can't get past the fact that Bentley and I were just inside the house a few minutes before the brunt of the storm hit the house. I can only imagine what would have happened if Bentley and I stayed inside for shelter." Rosalie said as she a sob caught in her throat. Emmett sympathetically walked over and took her and Bentley in a big bear hug.

I couldn't help but smile at that heart-warming gesture my brother was showing. I was even happier that Rosalie came into our lives; somehow she managed to help my juvenile older brother grow up and actually act like his age and not someone who was still in high school. The more I thought about it, the more I think I was starting to secretly hope that Emmett and Rosalie would finally take the plunge and enter into a relationship. You might not know this about Emmett, but behind his playboy persona, he is the most caring and loving brother anyone could ask for.

"Ok, so we better give Charlie a call and see when he can come down here to help out with this entire mess and help with the insurance papers that were sure to follow." Jasper said as he raked his fingers through his hair. I've figured out that this is his way of trying to buy time to come up with some sort of answer for something he was unsure of.

Just then my cell phone started going off and I pulled it out of my pocket and saw on the caller ID read "Emily W." so I picked it up and immediately held the phone out at arm's length when Emily started to scream into the phone. It took a few seconds to finally get in a word that I was alright and calm her down. Once she knew I was alright and that I wasn't lying somewhere in a ditch dead.

"Bella, you won't believe it, but the school is still standing, after all that the school is still in one piece. You wouldn't think so by what other people are saying, but the school looks like it always does, still as ugly as ever." Emily ended with a laugh.

"Well, that's good to hear I guess. My house is all but totaled Em, I mean, the whole second story is gone and part of the main floor is damaged. Thankfully the animals are okay, and both the barn and the stable were still standing."

"Oh my god, are you kidding me? Please tell me you're kidding me Bella, that sucks so much, but at least you're okay. Are your brothers ok too? Oh, how are Rose and the baby?" Of all my friends, only Emily knew that Rosalie, the 'town slut' was staying at my house, since her apartment wasn't in the best part of town. I still couldn't believe that people thought that just because Rosalie was pregnant and single, that it automatically made her a whore for it. What they didn't know was that her ex-boyfriend, at the time, didn't want the responsibility of being a dad and Rosalie wasn't interested in having him around the baby if he didn't want to. Plus, Rosalie is a strong woman and aside from living with us, she was pretty self-sufficient as a mom on her own.

"Whoa, one question at a time Emily." I say as I try to hold back a chuckle. Emily was always the kind of person to ask everything all at once and end up confusing you to high heaven. "Um, no I'm not kidding, the house is practically demolished, and all of us are ok, even Edward is ok." I couldn't believe I added that last question. No one knew Edward was with me, and I didn't want Emily to get the wrong idea and end up telling the wrong person and things getting out of hand, but then I guess I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

"Oh thank god I'm glad all of you are all right. You do remember my dad runs the insurance company here in – WAIT did you say that Edward, Edward Cullen is out there with you?! Why is he out there? His sister is going nuts worrying about him!"

"Ok, seriously stop with the multiple questions in one sitting Emily. Edward offered to drive me back to the house after Rosalie called telling me she needed help getting into the storm shelter, and you know everything else..."

"Ok, fair enough, I'm just glad that all of you are ok, and that no one is hurt or worse. All I have to say is that you are one lucky person Bella."

I glanced over my shoulder and saw both my brothers taking in the scene in front of them, our childhood home demolished, while Rosalie was trying her best to calm Bentley down, and Edward was on the phone attempting to get a word in edgewise. I assumed that it was probably Alice chewing him out for leaving school and scaring her half to death. I couldn't help but think about how lucky I was that Edward offered to drive me back to my house, because if he didn't drive me to the house I would've probably lost two more people I've grown to care about like family.

"Yeah, I guess you're right Emily, I'm a pretty lucky person."

_A week or so later_

"Okay, I've had a chance to look over your parents' insurance policy, and it does look like you are covered for all the damages your property received during the storm that came through town a few days ago. Your parents were smart enough to have a farmer's policy for the barn and stable, but I see where you made some improvements to the stable and barn. I don't see where in the policy that your parents sent in paperwork asking to have the improvements added to your farmer's policy." I started to squirm a bit in my seat. What could this mean? Could this mean that we wouldn't get money to help rebuild our house?

"Please use smaller words for those of us that had to drop out of college after our parents died and we had to take over the farm!" Emmett spat at the man behind the desk.

"Ok Emmett calm down let me take care of this. Why don't you, Jasper, and Bella go wait outside." My uncle said as he took a seat in an empty chair.

I was so relieved that Charlie and Renee were both able to come to visit as long as it would take to help up rebuild the house and get things back into working order around the farm. It was even better because Renee made her famous biscuits and gravy every morning. I say "famous" because biscuits and gravy was about the only thing she could cook that didn't have a burnt outer crust to it. Jasper, Emmett, and I all had our different theories as to why Aunt Renee was only able cook biscuits and gravy without burning it. My personal theory is that she does it on purpose, because we all know that Charlie loves eating out at the diner up there in Forks, at least that's what Aunt Renee told us when she 'attempted' to cook dinner.

"I can't believe that we have to go over this whole thing AGAIN, I mean yeesh, I think me and Jazzy signed both our names so many times that I'm gonna have hand cramps for a month!" Emmett complained as he scuffed his feet against the carpet outside of the insurance agent's office door.

"Stop scuffing your feet Emmett, at the rate you're going back and forth the next object or person you touch you're gonna shock them with all the static electricity you're building up. Just sit your butt down and wait patiently like me and Bella here." Jasper was always the voice of reason, and even though Emmett had matured some after mom and dad died, he still had his moments where you wanted to smack him upside the head.

"Jeez Jasper, don't be such a wet blanket all the time. I can be angry all I want right now, seeing as how we don't have much of a house right now!" Emmett bellowed as he plopped back down in his seat.

"You two are worse than an old married couple, Emmett, just sit still it won't kill you, and Jasper, enough of trying to boss everyone around." I sighed and got up and walked outside before I could get cranky myself and say something that I would later regret. I guess today has been a long day for all of us.

I decided to go outside to get some fresh air. I wasn't sure why I had gotten all cranky with them. They had every right to be arguing and grumpy, our house is nearly gone. Not to mention that even before the storm we were barely able to pay all the necessary utility bills. But maybe this is just what we need to help turn our luck around, a fresh start.

I started walking down the sidewalk and took everything in as I passed. A lot of the old buildings managed to have minimal damage from the storm, while some of the newer buildings, like the new gazebo that was built next to the courthouse was practically flattened.

"Bella, Bella, is that you? Oh my god you're alive! I'm so glad that you're ok!" I looked around trying to find the source of the screaming and saw that it was Maude, the grouchy old manager down at Delilah's, who was screeching my name. I braced for impact when I saw her come charging down the sidewalk towards me. Delilah's wasn't entirely spared from the brunt of the storm. It would have to have some repairs, and I could only hope upon hope that Maude would cave and make the much needed upgrades on some of the appliances in the kitchen, and even opt to go for an updated look in the front of the diner as well.

"Oh Bella, you had me so worried! I heard from Betty, who heard from a lady down at the hair salon on Adam's Street, that your house was completely demolished, and that there's nothing left. Oh Bella, why didn't you call and tell me about this? I don't usually do this but I'm giving you as much time as you need to get things all situated, and when they do you can come back." Maude said as she squeezed me tight against her to try and soothe my apparent bad mood.

"Maude, really, I'm fine no need to worry, and thank you for giving me the time off. I hope we get this whole mess settled soon too. It was, uh, nice talking to you." I said as I quickly headed in the other direction before Maude could grab ahold of me and give me another spine-crushing hug.

As I kept walking I saw the group of people I had been hoping to see this whole time I've been stuck at home. The school board thought, what with all the storm damage around town, that we would use some of our unused snow days and take some time off from school. Any other kid in town would probably be celebrating in the streets, but not me. I was stuck with dealing with insurance companies and having to go through turning off about everything you would need in a house. We would also have to go about digging a new well, seeing as how our current one is contaminated with dirt and debris from the storm.

"Look who decided to show her face around town, what's it been like, two weeks since we saw your beautiful face Bells?" Raven teased as she hopped off of the picnic table in front of the Yummy Yogurt stand we had. It has all of the favors you can think of. It even sells ice cream. I couldn't wait to get me a cup of two scoops of Superman ice cream.

"Yeah, been helping my brothers pick up around the house; you may have heard about it, seeing as how it is practically demolished. You know, we could use some help ya know. Think you four would want to come and help us? The Sooner we finish, the sooner we can get a contractor to come out and start to get to work at putting the house back together." I know I was laying the guilt on them pretty thick, but we could really use their help, I was getting tired of sleeping in the recliner while jasper and Emmett fought over whose turn it was to sleep on the inflatable bed. No one fought over the pull out couch, seeing as how Rosalie and Bentley would need it more than any of us.

"Might as well, seeing as how there's nothing else to do here until we go back to school next week." Kaleb said as he stood up and searched his pockets for his car keys.

"They're right there on the table babe." Emily teased as she pointed to the set of keys sitting on the picnic table.

"Yeah, well at least I have my cell phone this time." Kaleb said as we all started to laugh at his forgetfulness. We all would tease him that if his head wasn't attached he would lose that too.

"Yeah, we are all relieved you didn't lose the one thing that's always attached to your hip babe." Emily teased as she playfully pushed him away as he tried to kiss her on the cheek. Kaleb knows that Emily's 'weak point' is when he gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"I am "hurt" that you would think so low of me baby. Hurt." Kaleb said in a fake hurt tone as he tried his best to hide his widening smile.

"Ok, so is it a deal? You gonna help us clear everything out? Yes, that includes getting dirty Emily, I'm sorry." I said with a wink and a smirk. Emily was the most feminine between me, her and Raven. She hated getting dirty, even if it was dust from a dirt path she would freak out.

I couldn't help but grin even bigger when all them agreed to help and Kaleb offered to drive us back to the house to get a head start on the cleanup. I texted Jasper to let him and everyone else know not to worry if they couldn't find me.

As we all got in the car, I stopped for a second when I saw a familiar face heading ever closer to me. It was Edward, and looked to be his sister, Alice, with him. I called over my shoulder to not leave yet and wait for me. I couldn't help but smile as I saw him walking towards me. I even felt my cheeks start to redden a bit. I also realized that every time he and I were near one another I would blush like a fool and become a mute.

"Where are all of you headed in such a hurry? Would you mind if we tagged along?" Edward said with a smirk, that I swear was on purpose just to see me blush again.

"Uh, um, sure, you are more than welcome to come and help us clear out some of the trash and broken pieces of wood at my house, I mean if you don't mind a bit of hard labor…city boy." I was a bit shocked at my successful attempt at flirting. I even got Edward to blush a bit. I couldn't help but giggle at that part. It wasn't an easy thing apparently, because Alice started to laugh and pointed out that he looked good with that shade of pink. Alice's comment made him blush even more and had to take a deep breath to try and make himself relax.

"I don't mind a bit of good 'ol fashioned farm work, I bet it won't be that hard." Edward said as he stretched his arms trying to show how 'manly' he was. _Oh he's going to be in for a big surprise_. He had no idea, and thankfully since Aunt Renee and Uncle Charlie were in town we slept in a bit more than we usually do. I would see for myself how 'manly' Edward could be when it came to cleaning up the different stalls, both horse and cow. I glanced over at Alice, who couldn't help but roll her eyes and let out a long sigh. She didn't strike me as a farm kind of girl, but I could tell that she wasn't out to prove anything. She genuinely wanted to help out as much as she could.

"We'll just wait and see about that, won't we Edward." I said as I walked back to the car and climbed in. I rolled down the back passenger side window and yelled out, "You still know the way to my house city boy, or do you need to follow us?" I said with the most playful grin I had. I was starting to surprise myself. I usually never flirted like this, but Edward brought the 'Izzy' out in me, and I was starting to like it.

**A/N: So here's an extra-long chapter, for my readers and reviewers! I hope you all enjoy this and look for some Edward and Bella time out on the farm. What are your thoughts on this chapter? Also, who else was creeped out by how 'Nice' Maude was to Bella? Who wants cranky grouchy Maude back? Let me know in your reviews ;) :) **


	18. Working Hard On The Farm

**A/N: So, thank you all for reading and enjoying this story so much. Also, just a heads up there may be some Bella/Edward action later on in this chapter ;) Not much else to say other than please keep the reviews coming, I love reading your thoughts, and one of you agreed that you liked "Sweet" Maude over "Grouchy" Maude, and I'm going to have her be a mixture of both, but nicer to Bella :) **

**Now on with the story!**

_**Previously On Needing To Let Go**_

"_You still know the way to my house city boy, or do you need to follow us?" I said with the most playful grin I had. I was starting to surprise myself. I usually never flirted like this, but Edward brought the 'Izzy' out in me, and I was starting to like it._

**Bella POV:**

"So you mean to tell me that you and your brothers do this every morning and every day?" Alice asked me as she attempted to carry a single bale of hay over to the outside the last stall, which belonged to Buttercup, one of the three horses we were still boarding here.

I still couldn't believe that Alice and Edward actually followed through with getting their hands dirty on the farm. I mean, I'm pretty sure that he told me they had previously lived in Chicago or somewhere that didn't have barn yard animals. I say this because when good 'ol Rocket crowed Alice and Edward about jumped out of their skin and looked around with terrified looks on their faces.

"City kids…" I heard Kaleb say under his breath with a chuckle. I just rolled my eyes and told him to behave and to cut them some slack.

"I would, but it's more fun to give them a hard time Bells. I mean, who hasn't heard a rooster crow or done a few chores in their life?" Ok, he had a point there I suppose, but at the same time, we were being a bit biased. We are a farming town, and we all have some chores that other kids from other places may not have to do. Like I have to clean out the horses' stalls and make sure they're all fed and cleaned. I even have to make sure their hooves are trimmed and clear of thrush or rot.

"I can't believe that you and your brothers do this every morning Bella. I will never complain to my mom and dad about cleaning my room or taking out the trash ever again."

I just smiled at Alice, because she is the most honest and loving person I have ever met. I mean, I barely have gotten a chance to know her, and I feel this 'sisterly' connection with her almost immediately.

I was about to say something when we all heard this loud scream coming from outside the stable. It was coming from the barn. We all ran to the doorway and what I saw nearly knocked the breath out of me I was laughing so hard. Edward had apparently met 'Grampa' the stubborn old billy goat. I say this because Edward ran as fast as he could across the yard and leaped over the fence just as Grampa was about to head butt Edward in the butt. Once he was clear of Grampa, Grampa proceeded to charge the fence one last time as a warning then trotted off back wherever it was he came from.

"So how's that 'good ol fashioned farm work' coming Eddy boy?" I say as I try my hardest not to start cracking up laughing. I knew for a fact that Edward wasn't cut out for farm work, but I guess he had some male ego thing going on.

"Yeah, looks like you have everything under control over there don't you brother dear!" Alice jeered as she twittered with laughter. I liked spending time with her and I loved that she even thought Edward was too big for his britches.

"Yup, I'm just fine thanks for asking…Just taking the goat out for some exercise…" Edward said as he tried to regain some of the air he seemed to have lost from getting the crap scared out of him. He wouldn't admit it, but I'm pretty sure that he was legitimately scared of Grampa. I don't blame him though; Grampa is a very grumpy and ornery goat.

"Sure you are; why don't you take a break and come help us in the horse stable. We're about to start the best part, and that's brushing the horses and cleaning their hooves." I could tell that Edward had no idea what I was talking about, and that he wasn't looking forward to this.

_This city boy is in for some hard labor._

I decided to ease him into the whole cleaning the horses by letting him work with Rainbow, she's the most laid back horse ever, mainly because she knows me, and I've had her for so long.

"So do you know how to brush a horse and clean their hooves? It's pretty easy, but I'm sure a city boy like you have seen plenty of YouTube videos about grooming a horse." I couldn't help but give him the biggest smirk. His face was all but priceless; he had no clue which end to start at with Rainbow. He's lucky that I told him the basics of dealing with horses: Don't ever stand behind a horse, come towards them from the side, that way you don't appear as a threat, and if you must go around them, you keep a hand on them at all times and keep talking to them. It lets them know that you're not a predator coming for a snack.

"So, yeah, no pressure here…are you sure that Rainbow, here, isn't going to turn around and try and attack me?" Rainbow just snorted and shook her head, allowing the hair between her ears settle down on one side of her face.

"Yes, I'm sure Edward, don't be such a baby. Here, just make long strokes like this." I took his hand and jerked my hand a bit when our hands touched. It was that darn spark of electricity between us we shared; well either that or maybe I need to learn to pick up my feet better. But something told me that this wasn't static electricity, it had to be something else, and I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Like this?..." Edward asked as he trailed off into dual silence while he and I brushed Rainbow. We remained in uncomfortable silence for the next couple minutes. I turned to Edward to tell him what we were going to do next, and was surprised when we were apparently inches apart. I felt my breath catch in my throat as mind went a mile a minute, trying its hardest to make sense of things and say something that wasn't completely stupid. But as we stood there, that same feeling came flooding back to me. It was the exact same feeling I had back at the Halloween party with him, and I had a feeling history would repeat itself. As we inched closer and closer I got a good whiff of his cologne, and the scent was intoxicating. Just as our lips grazed one another's we were shaken to reality when Emily and Raven shouted that they were done and weren't sure where to start next.

_Way to go guys, way to kill the mood for us._

"D-do you think you can handle things while I go deal with Emily and Raven?" It took everything I had to ignore the wanting need to jump on Edward and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

Edward nodded and I quickly left to go deal with Emily and Raven, plus I might even murder them and bury them where no one would think to look.

OK, I am exaggerating a bit, but they both know how much I secretly like Edward. Yes, I haven't come out and actually said that I like him, but from the looks they would give me in school I knew that they knew I had strong feelings for Edward.

I walked down the center of the stable, and on my way down to them I saw that Alice was brushing and talking with Nico, a Palomino gelding, he's one of the horses being boarded. He was more calm and laidback than the other horses. And it looked like Alice had found his sweet spot; behind his left ear. If you massaged there you could get him to do anything you wanted with little to no fight.

"He is such a sweetheart, what's his name?"

I pointed to the nameplate on the front of his sliding stall door that had a nameplate with "Nico" on it. Alice nodded and added that she liked the name, and asked where we got him. That's when I went into describing the whole small horse boarding business we have, and that Nico is one of the boarders. I went on to say that he happened to be staying here for as long as it would take the owners to be able to move down here from Washington State. The horse belonged to the son of a friend of Charlie's. Apparently the kid was about my age and really into horses as well. It would be interesting to meet him when he finally would get down here in a few months. Too bad that it would be too cold for riding for pure fun when he would finally move down here, I mean you can still ride a horse in the winter, but with all the clothes you would have to put on thee would almost be no point in it.

"That sounds amazing! We don't have a lot of room where we moved to in town, if my parents agree; do you think we could board our horses here?" Alice asked as she bit her bottom lip, hoping that I would give her the answer she was searching for.

"I'm not sure, maybe we'll have to play it by ear. There are some months where we are completely full, and others when this is almost a ghost town." When our boarding business is slow we only have Rainbow, Rocky, and Gizmo. Those were each of our horses. We would've kept mom and dad's horses, but what with the bills piling up we had to sell them to keep a roof over our heads. I still miss Rosebud and Victory, but we made sure they went to a good farm where they will be well looked after.

"Earth to Bella, what do you need us to do now? We cleaned the stalls and put down fresh dirt and hay bedding and water for the horses." Raven said as she put a hand on her hip. I went down the check list with everyone, and turned out that with all the extra help we finished way ahead of what I thought we would. I let everyone know that we were all done and that we could relax. I could tell that Alice didn't want to stop working with Nico, so I asked her if she wanted to learn how to ride a horse. You would've thought, by her reaction, I asked her to take me shopping for the most expensive clothes ever. She squealed and jumped up and down in excitement.

Since she was new, and even though she loved Nico, he was still unpredictable to me, so I let her learn to ride on my horse, Rainbow.

First I taught her how to approach a horse, then it was teaching her how to put on a saddle. Alice was actually a quick study, and picked up things pretty quickly. As I had her get Rainbow's bridle and showed her how to measure to where the bit needed to be on Rainbow then helped her put the bridle on. Rainbow has done this millions of times, and stood there like a champ. After we got the bridle on and saddle on I gave her a couple sugar cubes as a treat for being so good and calm.

Once that was all done I showed Alice where the riding helmet was and let her borrow my riding shoes I kept in the barn. The shoes she had on were closed-toe, but they weren't good for riding in.

"I'm going to walk Rainbow a few times around the riding pasture while you get ready." Alice nodded and scampered off to go get herself ready to start riding. Edward took this as an opportunity to get some alone time with me, because he followed me outside and made idle chit chat. He even brought up the 'almost kiss' and asked if we could continue where we left off. I was a bit taken aback by this. I felt myself blush a bit as I looked anywhere but Edward's face.

"You know, you're adorable when you blush…" He said as took me by the hand and turned me gently to make eye contact with him. Our eyes locked again, and I got that same feeling I did at the Halloween party. It was the feeling that nothing else mattered at that exact moment; I didn't care who would see, what they would say, or what they thought. I just wanted Edward to kiss me.

And kiss me he did.

Oh my god, the kiss was almost ten times better for some reason. There was so much passion and wanting in the kiss. I gasped for breath as he deepened the kiss and pulled me hard against him, making it almost impossible to form any comprehensible thought. As we kissed I couldn't help but latch onto him as if I were going to fall at any moment. I grabbed a chunk of his hair and pulled him into me.

Then all at once he pulled away, both of us panting to catch our breath. I could feel that my lips were swollen; I even touched them and could still feel the heat of his lips on mine.

"Bella, if you're not doing anything…one of these days would you like to go out to eat with me?" Edward was actually struggling to form a simple sentence. He rubbed the back of his neck as he waited for me to decide whether or not I would take him up on his offer.

"Ok Bella, I'm already. Let's get this started!" I couldn't help but giggle when I saw Edward's gaze turn to that of complete annoyance and anger. Alice managed to break up the moment for us both, but when I caught his attention I nodded my head and wink letting him know I would take him up on the offer.

"Ok, so watch me as I get up into the saddle, then I'll let you try, don't get frustrated if you can't pull yourself up. I can help you up if need be."

I showed her the different ways she could use to get up in the saddle, and to show off I jumped up and swung my right leg over the side of the horse in one movement. Alice was really impressed, and I blushed a bit when I saw Edward giving me his damned crooked grin at my attempt of showing off.

I even showed her how to get down, and that since it was her first time I would be there to help if need be.

Alice was able to get her small foot into the stirrup, and was able to lift herself up and halfway over to the other side, but being only five-foot-three she had a bit of a hard time of lifting her leg up and over the horse. On the third time once she got to the last step I gave her a slight shove to give her the extra 'oomph' she needed to get both legs on either side of the horse.

"I did it! Ok, let's get this show on the road!" Alice cheered as she bobbed up and down and accidentally kicking Rainbow's ribs. Thankfully it was Rainbow, and she knew better, but I had to warn Alice not to make such movements unless you're truly ready, as that would alert the horse that you were ready to start riding, and other horses would take off in a canter if you weren't paying attention.

It was a few times around the pasture, and I asked Alice if she was ready to go a bit faster and she nodded. I told her what all she needed to do and she was a complete natural at it, and Rainbow seemed to respond well to her too. I took the lead off of her and let Alice go a couple more round around the riding pasture.

We all cheered Alice on, and she seemed to be doing alright. She had her feet where she was supposed to, she was doing everything right.

The Sun was starting to come out, and beating down on us, causing a couple of shadows. Rainbow is usually pretty good at not being spooked, but something happened, something spooked her so bad that she reared up on her hind legs. Only thing that made sense was that Rainbow saw her shadow, and she had been in a trance, which caused her to get spooked.

"Alice, lean all your weight forward and let go of the reins!" I yelled to her and slowly attempted to approach Rainbow while trying to say calming things to Rainbow. She was still rearing up, so I calmly instructed Alice to gently pet Rainbow's neck and try and soothe her.

It seemed to help some, but just when she was starting to calm down, the old pickup truck came down the gravel driveway, and parked next to the barn. The truck has been known to have a loud backfire of exhaust sometimes, and sadly this time was no different. This caused Rainbow to start rearing all over again.

"Bella, get me down from here, I think I'm gonna get sick!" Alice screamed as she hung on for dear life like a taught her. Thankfully Emmett and Jasper came home with Charlie. I told Edward to go get Jasper and Emmett for help. Edward hesitated for a few minutes, so I had to shove him to get him started. I wasn't sure what was wrong with Rainbow, she wasn't like this. I knew that once Alice was safely back on the ground I would try and figure out what was wrong with her.

Just then Jasper and Emmett came running over to us. And Jasper, being the horse whisperer he is he asked that everyone back away, and give Rainbow some room so she doesn't feel cornered. He slowly waked toward Rainbow while holding out some sugar cubes he must've grabbed on his way out here.

He continued to say soothing things to Rainbow and after a few more minutes Rainbow was back on all four feet and calm. I wanted to run to Rainbow and hug her, that whole thing could've gone completely in a different way. Either Alice hurt, Rainbow hurt, or both of them would be hurt.

Once we were sure that Rainbow was back to her normal self, Jasper helped Alice off the horse and I quickly took off the bridle, and saw that the bit wasn't in the right spot, it was a bit off center. This could've been a factor in what happened today. The saddle was fine, so it was decided that the bit not being in the correct position and her getting spooked with the shadow and backfire of the truck she got spooked.

"Wow that was intense! I'm just glad Rainbow is alright… I think I'm going to wait a while before I ask my mom and dad for a horse." Alice said as she giggled a bit. I could tell that she was still a bit shaken from what happened, which is understandable, and I couldn't help but notice how Jasper and Alice acted around each other. It may be the whole incident that happened just now, but I'm pretty sure my brother and Alice had some sort of connection between the two of them.

"Don't worry; you're done with riding lessons for the time being Alice." Edward ordered. I could tell that he was a bit shaken by what happened as well.

The city boy had his work cut out for him if he wanted a relationship with a farm girl like me.

**A/N: Ok so what did you think? I have some knowledge of horse handling from when I took a large animal class for vet tech school, but some things I had to look up. I hope I described things accurately enough for you all!**

**Also, just FYI Jasper is 19 and Alice is 17 like Edward. Bella is almost 17 her birthday will be a few days before Christmas in this story. Yes Jasper has to be careful about 'jail bait' but he is a complete gentleman and won't do anything to get Alice or him in trouble ok?**


	19. Love Is Just the Beginning

**A/N: thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, and I'm glad you all enjoyed it (especially **ttcub** I'm happy I made you laugh, and I apologize you almost fell out of your seat lol)**

**(The beginning of the chapter is a recap chapter of what has happened over almost two months just FYI)**

**(Also, an important Author's note at the bottom please read!)**

_**Previously On Needing To Let Go**_

_It may be the whole incident that happened just now, but I'm pretty sure my brother and Alice had some sort of connection between the two of them._

"_Don't worry; you're done with riding lessons for the time being Alice." Edward ordered. I could tell that he was a bit shaken by what happened as well. _

_The city boy had his work cut out for him if he wanted a relationship with a farm girl like me._

**Bella POV:**

I can't believe it, but it was actually fixed! The house is almost completely rebuilt, and we managed to finish most of the house a few days before thanksgiving! Thanks to Uncle Charlie, a couple of men from town, and a contractor to make sure that everything were going according to code. Not to mention that we practically worked around the clock to get this house put back together. Edward and his father, Carlisle, offered to help us rebuild as well. There were still some final touches that needed to be done. Like I would need to paint my room, and I had a feeling I would need Raven's help with that, because I had an idea to paint a mural on one of my walls.

In the midst of all of the reconstruction, and going to school, it had gotten around that Edward and I was an item. Yes, we got all those looks and whispers, but nothing more really, except a few death glares from Heidi if I happened to run into her in the hallway. I still don't know why she and I stopped being friends, but when I saw her mocking a freshman who what she was wearing it would all come rushing back to me.

Thanksgiving for my family was definitely interesting; Jasper, Emmett, and I had Uncle Charlie and Aunt Renee over. Our grandparents couldn't make the trip out here from Wisconsin. Which was just as well, don't get me wrong, I love my grandparents, but I just never really spent that much time with them. Plus mom and grandma never really got along very well. Also, Rosalie decided to try and make amends with her parents. She and Bentley went to spend Thanksgiving with them. Emmett was a little worried for her and the baby, because Rosalie and her parents don't really have the best of relationship right now. They are pretty well off, and they introduced her to her ex fiancé. They blame Rosalie for 'ruining a good thing'.

The day after we had our Thanksgiving as a whole family Edward invited all of us, my uncle and aunt included, to his house for a late Thanksgiving feast. Apparently Edward's cousins missed their flight for yesterday, so Edward's dad decided to celebrate Thanksgiving a day later. No problem with us. Alice stopped by later that day to help me pick out from my newly furnished wardrobe, thanks mostly to Alice taking me shopping, to pick out what I would wear to the dinner that night. Honestly? I think Alice just made up the excuse to come over so she could get a better look at my brother Jasper. She thought she was being secretive, but in reality she was as transparent as they come. She had a crush on my brother.

Later that night Jasper, Emmett, my aunt and uncle, and I all arrived at Edward's house. But I don't think the word 'house' was the correct term to use. The only term I could think of to describe what it looked like was the word, 'mansion'. I was a bit intimidated at the fact that Edward lived _here_. I mean, I know his dad is a doctor, and that his mom is an interior decorator, but this 'house' was a bit more than I expected. After I gathered up the courage I knocked on the door. Emmett and Jasper exchanged theories as to who would answer the door. Emmett thought that they would have a butler or a maid answer the door, while Jasper and I both thought that either Alice, Edward, or their parents would answer the door. Charlie and Renee were running a bit behind and asked us to go on ahead and they would come join us later on.

When the door opened, Alice answered the door, with a little boy tagging along with her. He looked to be about five or six, and I could only assume that he was Alice's cousin or something like that. She let us in and I couldn't help but notice when she gave my brother an extra-long glance. Jasper, being the oblivious idiot, didn't notice at all. He may be smart and into American history, but when it came to girls Jasper was completely unaware of the fact that girls found him attractive.

Alice invited us all in and we were flabbergasted at what we saw. I mean, the house looked completely different from when I was here for the Halloween party; everything had a regal feel about it. I could only assume that Alice's mother, Esme, worked her interior decorating magic and changed a humdrum looking house, into the most beautiful looking living room I have ever seen. I was almost too afraid of to touch anything or sit anywhere.

Once we sat down, Edward's father introduced everyone to one another, and I found out that the little boy that tagged along with Alice to greet us was in fact her baby cousin. Carlisle's older brother, Felix, and their dad, Eleazar, all showed up as well too. Thankfully they had a safe trip to get out here, and turns put that the little cousin's name was Anderson. But according to him he wanted to be called 'Andy', and that 'Anderson' was too boring for him.

We sat around the living room and made small talk. Carlisle and Esme didn't want to start without my aunt and uncle, and everyone was more than welcome to wait as well. Everyone caught up with one another, and my brothers and I all got to know Edward and Alice's extended family a bit better as well.

When Renee and Charlie finally came in, we all got up and gathered around the long table and began to start eating. Everything was amazing, and everyone had seconds of my hash brown casserole. By the time we all finished eating there were barely enough for leftovers for anyone, but that sadness was short lived when Esme and Alice came out of the kitchen carrying pumpkin pie and English toffee pie. Almost immediately our previously stuffed stomachs made room for some pieces of pie. I still have dreams about that amazing English toffee pie. I could have that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and I would be content for the rest of my living days.

The whole time we spent at Edward's house, he barely left my side. Granted, we weren't given much alone time together, mainly because some of his younger cousins were running around the house and causing a commotion. Plus, one of Edward's older cousins came and wanted to catch up with him. His name was Garrett, and actually looked like he could be Edward's long lost twin brother, aside from the whole Edward being adopted thing. As Edward and his cousin caught up, I couldn't help but bring up the time when Edward and his sister helped me and my family around my farm. Garrett started laughing and was surprised that I was able to get Edward to do hard labor. I couldn't help but mention Edward almost getting attacked by our grumpy billy goat, Grandpa. This caused Edward to blush again, and Garrett to start laughing hysterically. Jasper and Emmett apparently overheard and joined in on the laughter. Emmett wasn't ever really fond of Grandpa, but when he heard about what he almost did to Edward he said that he always did like Grandpa. That was mainly to annoy Edward and me of course. I sighed and asked Emmett to just drop it, but Emmett wasn't having any of that, he liked to tease Edward, mainly because he knew how to push his buttons, plus he knew that it annoyed me.

I looked around and couldn't find Jasper anywhere. I saw Renee and Charlie in a deep conversation with Carlisle and Esme over something, but I was more concerned where Jasper had run off too. I decided to try and look for Alice, but saw that she was nowhere to be found either. I excused myself from Edward and Garrett and carefully tiptoed around the different kids playing with one another to make my way to the kitchen. I got to the doorway and saw that Jasper was sitting on a bench just outside the sliding glass door, and next to him was Alice. They both seemed to be very interested in one another. Their conversation, whatever it was, seemed to be very intimate. I about fell over from shock when I saw Jasper lean over and gently give Alice a kiss on the cheek.

_Who would've thought that Jasper had it in him to be so bold as to kiss a girl, and that girl being Alice?_

I was actually not upset with either of them for sneaking around behind my back. I'm pretty sure that Jasper didn't want to bring too much attention to him and Alice, mainly because he knew, and so did I, that Emmett would be relentless in his teasing. He may have grown up thanks to Rosalie, but he still was still immature when it came to teasing.

I was just about to go back and sit with Edward when Jasper and Alice started back inside. They both about jumped out of their skin when they saw me standing in the kitchen before them. Alice right away started spewing apologies, and told me that it wasn't what it looked like. Meanwhile, Jasper is just standing there like he was caught with his fingers in the cookie jar. When I finally was able to calm her down, I told Alice that it was perfectly fine, and that they didn't need to explain anything to me. Almost immediately, she sighed with relief and hugged me tight and thanked me over and over.

I honestly didn't care if she was dating my brother. If Alice and Jasper were happy with each other, then so was I, that's all that matters to me.

_**~*~*~ A Week or Two Later ~*~*~**_

I couldn't believe it, my birthday was only a day away. My birthday was December 18, and always about a week before Christmas. So, I wasn't like the unlucky kids whose birthday was either the day before, or the day of Christmas, but I wasn't exactly wasn't any better off. Especially since Jasper and Emmett both told me a few days before my birthday that they wouldn't be able to get me much for my birthday. I honestly didn't care, and I made sure to add that they already did when they were able to rebuild the house, and made it almost nicer than it was before. I could tell that both of them were relieved to hear that they didn't need to get me a gift of some kind. It was true, they did enough for me, and they didn't need to spend any more money on me. Plus, after all the renovations and refurnishing the house there was barely enough money left over for anything but to pay the bills.

Emily offered to cover my shift on the day of my birthday. Maude may have made a complete one-eighty, but she still had her moments where she was her cranky old self, she had a sick sense of humor by scheduling me to work on my birthday. I know a lot of people have to work on my birthday, and I was all prepared for it, but Emily said it was her birthday present for me.

Kaleb and Jackson didn't really have a present for me, and that was perfectly ok. I did, however, tell that they could give up smoking as a birthday present for me. Both of them started laughing and reluctantly agreed that they would attempt to give up smoking.

You want to know the weird thing? I wasn't even sure how they were able to get the cigarettes considering that they weren't eighteen. But then I was pretty sure that I didn't want to know how they were able to get them in the first place.

Raven's present to me, or at least that's what I told her, was the mural she helped draw and paint on one of the walls of my room. The mural was of a collection of everything important to me. My brothers were in it, as well as my friends. The farm was even in there as well. Raven asked me, when we painted it, if I wanted to have Edward in it, and I decided against it. If things didn't work out between the two of us I didn't want to be constantly reminded of him.

Speaking of Edward, he had a special day planned for my birthday, and he wouldn't say what it was. Then one day Alice told me that she was going to come over to go through my closet with me to pick out the perfect outfit, I knew that it was going to turn into Alice making me into her own personal Barbie doll. We went through a whole bunch of different outfits until she decided to bring me over to her house so I could try on some of her surplus of clothes she hadn't gotten around to wearing. Well, almost immediately I tried to backpedal out of that idea. I didn't want to take clothes from her if she hadn't even worn them yet. But Alice assured me that she would be more than happy to let me have some of her clothes. She thought of me as her sister, and would do anything for me. Some would think she is trying to butter me up because she wants to start dating Jasper, however, I know Alice and I know that she isn't that kind of person. I know that we haven't known each other that long, and that she and Edward had just recently moved to town, but like her, I feel like I've known her forever.

Alice decided on me wearing a pleated skirt that came a bit shorter than I am used to wearing, but then I don't ever wear skirts to this could be why I was a bit uncomfortable. Then Alice had me put on a powder pink tank top, and a denim jacket to wear over the shirt. Thankfully I had a say in what kind of shoes I wore. Alice tried to get me to wear a pair of her three-inch heels, but I managed to talk my way out of wearing them by telling her that I would get her clothes ruined when I would fall and break an ankle. Thankfully she agreed and let me wear my ballet flats. Then came the makeup. I tried my best to talk my way out of not having to wear makeup, and Alice was actually willing to compromise and let me get by with just some lip gloss and eye shadow. I could tell that Alice wanted to use more of her makeup kit she had bought, but wanted me to be happy too.

"Are you sure that you don't know where Edward is taking me, Alice?" I asked as I plopped down next to her on the bed.

"Oh, I know where he's taking you, but I have been sworn to secrecy by Edward. I really do want to tell you Bella, but I can't I hope you don't hate me." Alice said as she pouted her bottom lip. I just shrugged my shoulders and pretended to be offended by her lack of information, but I couldn't sustain my fain hurt for very long, because a hint of a smile started to crawl across my face and I started laughing when Alice gasped and scoffed at me as she playfully shoved me. I went limp and flopped over onto my side, causing as both to start with laughter.

"So, Bella, do you know if your brother is interested in anyone?" Alice asked while trying to sound nonchalant about it. I knew that she and Jasper had some sort of chemistry, but I guess she wanted to make sure that there wasn't anyone else. I thought it spoke volumes on her personality, and that she didn't want to steal him away from anyone. I told her that the only person I could think of that Jasper had been interested was Maria. She was some girl Jasper had met at College. They were in the same study group. It didn't last all that long though, after about four months they both agreed to part ways.

This tidbit of information apparently was a cause for celebration. Alice all but squealed at the news, but abruptly stopped herself and blushed a bit. I just rolled my eyes while trying my best not to start laughing.

"Alice, you may think you and Jasper are being discreet about whatever is going on between the two of you, but it's so painfully obvious that you have a thing for my brother." I say with a sly smirk.

"I have no idea what you're talking about…" Alice tried to deny it and failed miserably. She let out a long sigh and flopped back on her bed. I had caught her. She finally admitted the truth, and I couldn't help but start smiling like a fool. It was fun seeing Alice being 'normal' for once. At school, she's the model student, and everyone wants to be just like her or be her best friend.

"It's ok that you like Jasper, because I'm pretty sure he likes you too." This definitely caught her attention, because she popped up quickly and all but jumped in my lap demanding more information right then and there. After I was able to pull her off of me I told her what I knew, and that was that Jasper did like her, and that he wanted to get to know her better. It wasn't anything too revealing, and at first Alice thought I was lying. But after I was able to convince her otherwise she was immediately all smiles.

"Hey, where's Edward? I thought he said we were going somewhere special?" I got up off the bed and walked over to Edward's room before Alice could tell me that he was out running an errand for their mom. She needed some fabric swatches to go through so she could decide what would be best for the vision she had for the living room. I took this as an opportunity to take a look at Edward's room. I wasn't usually this adventurous, but I was genuinely curious as to what Edward's room looked like. I wasn't surprised that when I got to his room that there was a tall shelf full of vinyl records, and there was a variety of artists. He had everything from Classical music, to Black Eyed Peas. He was even more attractive that he had a lot of The Beatles records, and some Journey albums as well.

I let my fingers glide across the different records when my eyes caught sight of his very elaborate stereo system. I could see that he had a disc inside, and hit the play button. All at once the room slowly filled with a soft but sweet melody.

Clair de Lune by Debussy. It was one of the very few Classical songs that I knew. I only knew it was Clair de Lune because when my mom signed me up for ballet this was one of the songs my teacher would play.

I closed my eyes and took in the melody and just let out a long sigh.

"I never would've pegged you as a stalker Bella. Should I be worried?" I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sudden voice of Edward. I jerked around and saw him standing in the doorway grinning with that stupid crooked grin that had me weak at the knees. I sputtered some sort of explanation, but couldn't find anything to say.

_Come on Bella say something intelligent before he thinks you're a babbling idiot!_

"Relax Bella, I'm only teasing." And before I could form my response, he closed the distance between us and carefully wrapped one of his arms around my waist, being careful never to break eye contact with me. Before I knew it he and I were swaying around the room to Debussy. We were in dual silence, nothing mattered, nothing was more important than this very moment. We danced for what seemed like an wonderful lifetime, and as the music played on and our dancing got more and more intimate, I realized that both our lips were slowly inching ever closer to one another's.

When they did finally sought out the other's that same electric spark jolted between us, causing us both to jerk a bit. But that didn't stop us, it only urged us to continue on and before either one of us knew it we were both in the most passionate and fervent kiss I have ever had.

Before either one of us knew it there was a sudden noise, someone clearing their throat, which caused us both to untangle ourselves and scramble to see who was at the doorway. There in the doorway was Edward's dad, Carlisle, and he wasn't all too pleased.

"Edward, you know the rules, no girls in your room unless either your mother or I are upstairs as well." Carlisle wasn't exactly furious at us, but he wasn't all too pleased either. Edward didn't bother to argue and took my hand and hurried out of his room and down the stairs to his car. He hollered out an apology as he lead me to his car parked right outside the front door.

"Where are we going?"

"Just wait and see Bella, you're going to be pleasantly surprised." Edward said with a smile. I just sighed and decided to go with it.

**A/N: so what did you think? Tell me in your reviews, and also tell me what you think should happen next? I like hearing what you all have to say. Also, just a quick heads up. I alternate updating between this story and my other story, **Paralyzed**. So I don't really have a schedule. I just update when I finish with the chapter. I know there are some out there that update on a certain day, and that's just not me. I update when I feel like I got what I wanted to say in the chapter said.**

**Also, I'm in the process of starting to plan out my next story. It's a collaboration between me and **Arrowhead1996**. She and I have a good idea going on, and I will be posting it on my profile (long story). It's not your typical Twilight story, which is why I think I'm excited to write it. But I won't start on it until I finish both of my current stories. This way I can focus all my time on it, because it's a very complicated story, and I want to get it right for you all.**

**So, until then please review and give me your thoughts about the chapter! **

**TTYL! :)**


	20. Happy Birthday Isabella Swan

**A/N: Here is the next chapter, and hope you enjoy it. I hope you all are enjoying it, and I don't have a lot to say other than thank you all for reading, reviewing, and supporting me in every single way. Your alerts and reviews help me continue to tell this story. **

**So without further ado, here is chapter 20 of **Needing to Let Go**.**

* * *

_**Previously on Needing to Let Go**_

_Carlisle wasn't exactly furious at us, but he wasn't all too pleased either. Edward didn't bother to argue and took my hand and hurried out of his room and down the stairs to his car. He hollered out an apology as he led me to his car parked right outside the front door._

"_Where are we going?"_

"_Just wait and see Bella, you're going to be pleasantly surprised." Edward said with a smile. I just sighed and decided to go with it. _

**Bella POV:**

The date Edward took me on was actually pretty good, considering what all happened. Some would categorize the date as a disaster, and it was, but the date itself was still good in my book. It started off when I had Edward stop by my house on the way to the movie theater. Emmett and Jasper were both home, and apparently saw Edward's car out front. They obviously decided to embarrass the crap out of me by coming out to the front porch and invited Edward in to 'have a little chat' while I went up to my room to get what I needed.

I have to hand it to Edward, having my two older brothers trying to intimidate him; he managed to remain calm the entire time. Granted, I couldn't hear what was going through his head the entire time, but lord knows that Emmett was trying to be the threatening and protective older brother, while Jasper was the one who kept Emmett in line, while still showing he wasn't fully on Edward's side.

I finally came down with my favorite little stuffed animal Edward was able to win me at the local festival that was back before thanksgiving. It was a small panda bear on a keychain, and I wanted it in my purse for good luck. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Emmett and Edward both sitting on the couch in front of the television yelling and hollering at the TV, with Jasper sitting in a recliner looking both amused and annoyed at how fast Emmett dropped his intimidation act.

"So how long did Emmett's whole 'intimidating older brother' act last him this time?" I asked Jasper as I let out a long exasperated sigh.

"About as long as it always does, first mention of football, Emmett caves and starts on and on. Turns out your boyfriend over there likes football as much as Emmett does."

"No one loves football like Emmett does. Think I can break up the budding bromance over there?" I asked as I pointed to the two guys sitting staring a hole into the television. Jasper just shrugged and said, "Good luck" and let out a long sigh as well.

Between Jasper and Emmett, and the fact that they were legally my guardians, I was more afraid of, and more prone to listen to, Jasper. Emmett, he had his moments, but they weren't nearly as scary as Jasper when he caught wind of me not doing my daily farm chores.

I tapped Edward on the shoulder and whispered that we were going to be late for the movies. Edward's response was a slight nod, and while not breaking eye contact with the TV said that we were gonna go, just as soon as what's-his-name Manning made his last pass for the quarter. I wanted to object, but when I saw on the screen that there was less than two minutes left of the quarter I decided I would wait.

Well, after all the commercials, and timeouts each team were having, it was easily ten minutes later. I huffed and looked at my phone for the time.

_Just great, the movie already started._

"Wow, what an awesome first half!" Edward said as he high fived Emmett then stood up to get me and go off to the movies. He was met with me giving him a death glare and I wasn't at all in a 'flirty' mood at the moment. Edward quickly checked his watch and saw that all his bonding with my brother caused us to miss the movie.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, we can still go to the movies, is there another movie you want to see?" I let out a sigh. I should be madder at him, but that damned crooked grin of his made what anger I had against him instantly wash away. I shrugged my shoulders and agreed we could go see what else was playing if we wanted to. Once we got to the movie theater we saw that both movies were sold out for the night.

_Oh one of the perks of living in a small town with a movie theater that just has two projectors._

Both Edward and I silently cursed at our turn of events, and I managed to keep my annoyance towards Edward under control rather well.

He kept apologizing to me how sorry he was that he let himself get swept up in the football game with Emmett. I'm not sure why I wasn't more mad at him over missing the movie. I guess it was the fact that it was just a movie, it wasn't like we had plans that were made months in advance or anything. I just shrugged it off and brought up the idea of going to Delilah's for a late dinner. I'm not quite sure how many times Edward tried apologizing, but I think I lost count after like ten times.

We sat down at a table next to the window. I saw Emily bouncing around from table to table with no other waitress or waiter around. I thought about it a minute to try and figure out who should've been working tonight, then I remembered that it was me who was supposed to work tonight along with Emily, she offered to cover for me tonight. I sighed and immediately started feeling guilty.

"Everything okay Bella? Are you still angry with me about earlier?" Edward asked. I could sense that he was worried that I had been lying when I told him over and over that I wasn't angry at him making us miss the movie. I shrugged it off and told him I was just thinking about something, and that I really was fine with missing the movie.

"Maybe after we eat, we could go for a walk around the park, that is, if it doesn't get any colder than it already has already." I said as I fiddled with my straw wrapper. That was one of the few reasons I kinda didn't like having my birthday in the middle of winter. Thankfully, this winter there hadn't been much snow, yet, but the temperature could be a little bit warmer in my opinion.

Finally when Emily was able to get to our table she didn't seem tired, stressed out or panicked. She was beaming with a bright smile. It was like being completely swamped, and no additional help even fazed her. Edward had decided to order a classic hamburger with a side of French fires. I just got a side salad and an order of chicken nuggets. I asked her if it had been busy the whole shift and Emily shook her head no. Apparently it was a slow day, which was until everyone decided to come in to eat all at once.

After about ten minutes our food was ready and Emily quickly brought it out to us. Emily even brought a bottle of ketchup for Edward's fries. As quickly as she came Emily was off to go check on her other customers.

Edward and I made small talk while we ate our food. He was really having a hard time getting the ketchup to come out of the funneled nozzle and onto his fries. I often told Maude that she needed to order actual bottles of ketchup, and just one big container of ketchup to fill up those bright red plastic containers with a funneled spout. I tried to get Edward to let me help, but being a typical 'macho man' that he attempted to be he tried to assure me that he had it all under control.

"Edward, its ok to let someone else help you from time to time. Let me help you with that." I offered as I tried to reach over and take the bottle from him, but he jerked away.

"No, really Bella, I have it under control. No need to –" Just as I hand the tip of the bottle within my grasps I heard a loud _squish_ along with the bottle making a 'farting' noise. I let out a long surprised gasp. I quickly closed my eyes, hoping what I was feeling on my powder pink tank top wasn't what I thought it was. I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes and slowly let myself look down at my shirt to check out the damage.

Yep. My entire shirt was covered in ketchup. I tried to tell Edward that there was a certain way that he would have to squeeze the bottle to get the ketchup out, but he found it out all on his own.

_Too bad he had to figure it out all over my tank top._

"Bella, oh my god, are you ok? I am so, so, sorry! I didn't mean to do that, I swear!" I shrugged it off, and quickly ran to the restroom to try and clean off as much of the ketchup as possible. Thankfully I remembered what my mom taught me and ran some cold water from the sink and grabbed a bunch of paper towels and folded them under my shirt where the growing ketchup stain was. I took another paper towel and wet it with the cool water and started scrubbing like my life depended on it.

"Oh my god, it looks like you were shot! What did Edward do?" I jerked my head around and saw Emily standing by the door to the ladies' restroom. I sighed and explained what happened, which caused her to start laughing uncontrollably. I didn't think it was all that funny personally, but I didn't care because I was so happy that the trick mom taught me was doing the trick. Well, the stain was still there, but it wasn't as noticeable as it was before.

"It's not funny Em; this was one of the shirts my mom got me before the accident. I know it's just a shirt, but it's one of the few things that actually survived that darn storm back after Halloween." I said as I started to tear up a bit.

_Why was I crying, and over a stupid shirt to boot? I mean, it was just a stupid shirt, but something inside of me made this shirt out to be the most important thing in the world at that exact moment._

"Yeesh, sorry Bells, um, if that jacket doesn't button up, you can borrow mine I brought to work with me. Kaleb is gonna pick me up from work when I'm done." I sighed and quickly apologized to Emily, and made sure to mention that I agreed, that it was just a shirt.

After another set of paper towels I assessed the damage. There was still a faint stain of red on my pink shirt, but it wasn't anything that my jacket couldn't cover up. I buttoned up my jacket a few buttons and headed back out to the table after wiping my eyes a bit. I apologized to Emily again before leaving the bathroom, and I couldn't help but hug her when she said, "All is forgiven Bells, no need to worry I get it."

When I got back to the table Edward's cheek a nice shade of crimson, and eye contact was all out the window right now. I tried my best to make eye contact, but that was no use. I did however get him to say something, and I told him that I wasn't mad at him, and that it would all wash out.

"Bella, you must hate me, first I make us miss the movies, and now I get a whole bottle of ketchup on you. I understand if you just want to go home and never talk to me ever again." His eyes were dark, and stormy. I sighed and got up and quickly sat down next to him, and forced him to look at me. I made sure I had his full undivided attention.

"Now listen, yes, I was a bit angry when we missed the movies, but this? Edward, this wasn't your fault, those bottles are cheap and older than you or me I think. I know it was an accident, and I'm not mad at you, now stop blaming yourself and let's finishing eating." I said. Then I surprised even myself when I quickly gave him a kiss smack dab on the lips and got up and sat back down in my seat and started eating my food again. I glanced over at him, and saw that the storm behind his eyes lifted and he greedily started eating his food again, minus the ketchup.

Once we both finished our food, we pitched in on the tip, and Edward went up Maude, who was sitting behind the register, and paid for our dinner.

"I should charge ya for that ketchup you wasted squirting all over Isabella here, but imma give you a free pass this time. But don't think I'm not watching you city boy." I groaned a bit at Maude's attempt at threatening. She was really a sweet lady, but for some reason she thought that if she acted like a crotchety old lady then people would take her seriously. I rolled my eyes and pushed Edward out of the diner for both his and Maude's sake.

Immediately our warm bodies started to adjust to the shivering cold air. I was starting to silently curse myself for not wearing more than just a flimsy tank top and a denim jean jacket. Edward must've read my mind, well that or he heard my teeth starting to chatter a bit, and because he gave me his thick jacket he had on. It was only 9:30, and it felt like it was below zero.

Edward pulled out his smartphone and checked the temperature.

_Ok, this is getting weird, it's like he can read my mind or something just as crazy._

"Jesus, it's nearly 10 degrees! So much for a night walk through the park." Edward said as he and I hurried to the warmth of his Volvo. I cheered when I saw that the car was already started. He had managed to get one of those remote starters for his car, which was good because when we got in the car was nice and toasty I didn't want to get out.

After the long car ride back to my house I sighed and leaned over to kiss him, and he met me half way. I just smiled and kissed him. Kissing him felt right, it felt amazing and the way I was feeling was foreign to me, but I didn't care I liked this feeling.

"Spend Christmas with me." I stopped dead in my tracks.

_Holy crap Bella, what did you just say?_

I couldn't believe that I had said those words. It wasn't that I didn't want him to visit, but it was one of those moments where your mouth gets ahead of your brain and you just spit it out without thinking.

I took Edward by surprise too I guess, because he just sat there looking at me, but not like I had three heads and was breathing fire. No, he was looking at me with love, compassion, and the utter most pleasure.

"I mean, you can if you want to. I mean, I'm sure you probably have other plans, and you have your whole family coming in for Christmas, or you're going out of town for Christmas. I shouldn't have said anything. God, I'm babbling like a complete idi – " I didn't get to finish my sentence, because I was ambushed by a set of incredibly soft lips crashing onto mine silencing me.

_Thank god, I was starting to sound a complete idiot!_

Before I had time to enjoy the spontaneous, but most welcome kiss, Edward pulled away giving me a stupid crooked grin.

"Thank you…"

_Oh god, Bella, you are an idiot. That's all you can say after that? It's a wonder Edward even likes you!_

"You're very welcome Bella." Edward said with a chuckle. This caused my cheeks to redden a bit, and not from the heat of the car. "Yes, I have plans for Christmas, but I was about to ask you the exact same thing. I was going to invite your whole family, your aunt and uncle included, to my house for Christmas." Edward said as he sat back and gauged my facial expressions for any type of response. How did he know my aunt and uncle were coming down for Christmas?

_Probably just a lucky guess, because remember Bella, 'Christmas is a time for family'. _

"I don't know…let me talk to Jasper and Emmett about it. Is that ok?"

Edward took me by surprise again and gave me a quick, but passionate, kiss square on the lips and smiled.

"So I take it, that you're ok with that?" I asked as I started to get ready to get out of the car.

Edward stopped me and quickly got out of the car and ran quickly to my side and opened the door for me. He took me by the hand and walked me to the front door.

_I've got to remind myself to thank his mom for raising such a gentleman._

When we got to the front porch, we had this unspoken conversation as our bodies inched closer and closer to one another. Except for the porch light right next to the front door we were in complete darkness. Before I knew it our lips collided and I had to weave my hand through his luscious bronze hair and latch on for dear life. It felt like if I didn't hold onto something I would just fall. I about melted when I felt both of Edward's hands caress both cheeks. I could've stood here forever in this position, but someone had other plans. We were yanked from our fervent stupor by the porch light flipping on and off.

_Oh how I could kill Jasper and Emmett right now._

I groaned as Edward and I were forced to untangle ourselves from one another. The more I thought about it though, the more I suspected that it was Jasper. Emmett would've done something a lot more overt and mean. Jasper had the decency to just let us know that they could see us, and that it was time to bring what we were doing to a close.

Edward gave me one last kiss and with a raspy whisper he said into my ear, "Happy Birthday Isabella Swan." Ok I decided right here and now that only Edward could get away with using my full name. I was about to offer his jacket back to him, but he told me to keep it before I could even get my sentence out.

AS Edward made his way down the steps and back to his car I couldn't help but bring the collar of his jacket up to my nose and inhaled deeply. I sighed as I took in the aroma of his cologne. Once I was sure Edward made it back down the driveway safely I turned around and trudged in and up to my room.

I flopped back onto my bed and sighed with a stupid grin on my face.

Most girls would say that this whole date was horrible, especially on their birthday, but not me. I still had the most amazing day, and that was all thanks to one person.

Edward Cullen.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think? I apologize that it took me so long to update. It was nothing you all did, it was all me. It was so hard for me to write the beginning of this chapter. I wanted to make sure that I got everything right. **

**I think this chapter is one of my better ones, but I will let you all be the judge. ;)**

**If you haven't already please take a look at my other story, **_Paralyzed_**. I go back and forth between stories (updating wise) and I don't start the next chapter of the other story until I finish the chapter of the one I'm working on. It's easier for me.**

**Also, after both stories have been written, then the real fun begins, because that is when me and **_Arrowhead1996_** start working together on our collaboration fanfic. And I can tell you that it will be awesome! It's going to be completely opposite of what I've already written, which is so fun to be able to do! I will say that the story will be called, **_"Luppiter Gratia Sanitatis"_** which translate from Latin to (**May the Grace of Jupiter Be the Cure**). Soon, I will put the summary in both of my stories. When the times right so don't worry. **

**Until the next chapter, happy reading! 7**


	21. Happy New Year!

**A/N: So I want to start off by thanking you all for adding me and this story to your alerts and favorites! Your reviews make me smile, and also your criticism helps me get better at writing. Yes, I still have some grammar issues to work out, but I'm trying my best. I don't have much else to say other than happy reading!**

_**Previously on Needing to Let Go**_

_As Edward made his way down the steps and back to his car I couldn't help but bring the collar of his jacket up to my nose and inhaled deeply. I sighed as I took in the aroma of his cologne. Once I was sure Edward made it back down the driveway safely I turned around and trudged in and up to my room._

_I flopped back onto my bed and sighed with a stupid grin on my face._

_Most girls would say that this whole date was horrible, especially on their birthday, but not me. I still had the most amazing day, and that was all thanks to one person._

_Edward Cullen._

**Bella POV:**

I couldn't even believe that it was already New Year's Eve. I mean, Christmas seemed to come and go so fast, and it couldn't have been any better. I got to spend some time with Edward and his family, and my aunt and uncle came for Christmas as well. I got a bunch of books from my Uncle Charlie, and Aunt Renee got me my very own cell phone. Before, I had been using Emmett's old clunker of a cell phone, and it was like I was carrying around a tiny little brick around with me. I almost couldn't accept the phone, but when Renee told me that it was a 'pay as you go' type of phone I perked up and hugged her tightly.

Jasper had gotten a collection of history books from both of them, and Emmett's gift, you would've thought that he had won the lottery or something, was a football signed by Dan Marino. All of us started laughing hysterically when Emmett got up and started doing a little jig then grabbed Charlie in a big bear hug.

My gift to Edward was simple in comparison to other gifts everyone had gotten. I had noticed that Edward's copy of Claire de Lune was starting to show its age. His grandfather had gotten it back when he was about Edward's age, and then had given it to Edward when he was about ten years old. I had managed to save up enough money to buy a copy of a live recording of the song. I was kinda nervous that either he wouldn't like the version I got him, or for all I knew he already had this version. But I was put at ease when I saw the look on Edward's face when he ripped off the paper. Before I could explain what I had gotten him, he took me into the biggest hug ever. I had apparently managed to get the exact recording of the song that he had been wanting.

After we opened all of our presents I was ashamed to admit I was a bit envious of Edward and his family. He had his parents, even if they were his adoptive parents, it still made me feel jealous of him and Alice. I never am usually like this, but it is one of the holidays that centers on togetherness and family. But as quickly as this sensation of jealousy came over me, it had quickly dissipated.

Now that it was New Year's Eve Edward wanted to spend it with me, my brothers, and Rosalie. Bentley was an obvious given to be there as well. It was weird to think about the fact that he was almost four months old. Edward brought Alice along with him to spend New Year's Eve with us too. I was almost positive that he had no idea that his sister and my brother were secretly dating, if that's what you call giving each other googly eyes when they think no one else is paying attention. It was actually kind of weird seeing Alice acting unlike herself, meaning she was acting shy, quiet, and I think I even saw her blush a few times during our little New Year's party.

To pass the time we all decided to get out the 'ol Monopoly board game. I had chosen to play the little dog, and everyone picked their own little game piece. True to the board game's reputation we gave up on the game about halfway through, because everyone started accusing the other of cheating or stealing money from the banker's stash. I was the voice of reason and quickly started putting the game away. Emmett, being Mr. Competitive, tried to stop me and begged me to pull it back out so we could have another go at the game.

But thankfully the game had made the time go by so much quicker. It was apparently less than three minutes until the big metallic ball would drop and signal that it was officially the New Year.

_Three…_

_Two…._

_One…_

Just as the ball dropped and lit out Auld Lang Syne started to play, and almost immediately Edward pulled me into a kiss. I almost felt as if everything could've caught on fire around us and I wouldn't have even noticed, or cared for that matter. We both finally came up for air, and I couldn't stop the smile that was starting to form on my face. I saw Rosalie and Emmett kissing, and I even saw Jasper give Alice a quick peck on the lips.

_That's a big step for Mr. Cautious; good for him._

Emmett swiftly left the room to go find something. This had us all confused and wondering what had gotten into him. Part of me thought that he was trying to find where I had hidden the Monopoly game, but that wasn't it; something else had my sturdy big brother nervous as a little Chihuahua. After a few minutes of random shuffling and things clinking around Emmett came back out and he looked as if he was going to throw up right there on the living room floor.

I was just about to ask if he was ok, when Emmett quickly got down on one knee at Rosalie's feet.

_Oh. My. God. He wouldn't…..would he?_

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, I know we've only been seeing each other for almost five months, but I feel like I've known you my whole life." He was, he was proposing to Rosalie! I couldn't help but grin like a big buffoon as Emmett explained why he thought Rosalie and he would be perfect for each other. "Rosie, I love you with all of my heart. Will you marry me?" Emmett said as he carefully pulled out a small round black box. All of us girls gasped when we got a good look at the ring inside. It was a silver engagement ring, with a square diamond mounted in the center along with two smaller diamonds on either side of the ring, as if in a descending order.

"So, what do you say Rosalie? I love you and I want to spe– " Emmett was cut off by Rosalie leaning down and kissing him before he could finish his sentence.

"I'll take that as a yes then?" Edward whispered to me. I nearly jumped at the sudden closeness of his lips to my ear. I smiled and nodded in agreement. I was happy that Emmett was going to marry Rosalie. They were perfect for each other. I didn't think that Emmett was ever going to get out of his womanizing ways, but Rosalie managed to break him of his habit.

"Yes, yes, I'll marry you, you stupid idiot!" Rosalie cried as she hugged him tight. Emmett immediately put the ring on her left ring finger. She couldn't help but hold it up to the light and grin ear to ear. Bentley then took this as the opportunity to wreck the moment by starting to cry. Before she could go tend to her son Emmett stopped her and dropped a bomb on her. He wanted to legally adopt Bentley. This caught all of us by surprise, because Emmett had never mentioned this to either me or Jasper. Heck, he didn't even tell us he was thinking about proposing to her.

"Uh, one step at a time Em, let's get married before we even talk about you adopting my son." Rosalie said as nicely as she could. I couldn't blame her. Emmett was never one for subtlety. He'd rather get everything done and over with all at once rather than drag everything out.

"So it's official, you and me are gonna get hitched?" Emmett asked with his big goofy grin. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and kissed him.

Nothing could ruin this moment.

Then as if on cue, the phone rang. I hurried to go get it, seeing as how Emmett and Jasper were preoccupied at the moment to even hear the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Yes, hello, is this you Isabella?"_

"Um, yes, this is _Bella_ Swan. May I ask whose calling?" an elderly voice asked. I couldn't quite place the voice, but it did sound very familiar to me.

"_You don't remember me do you? Well this is your grandmother calling sweetheart. I just wanted to call and see how you and your brothers have been. It's been awhile since Jasper had called to update us on what all's been going on there. Are you excited to come visit us on your spring break?"_

I was seriously going to hurt Jasper when I got my hands on him. He never told me or Emmett for that matter, that he was talking to grandma and grandpa and letting them know how we were doing. It wasn't like they ever made an effort before mom and dad died, why would they want to try and form a relationship now?

"Oh, yes, I'm so looking forward to visiting you guys in…."

"_Wisconsin, we live in Wisconsin sweetie, and your grandpa and I are excited to see you. Oh, Happy New Year Bella sweetie, let your brothers know we said hello as well. There's no need to pull them away from whatever it is they're doing. Goodbye sweetheart."_

And with the final click of the phone I was left standing there still holding the phone.

I was angry with Jasper for keeping this humongous secret from me, and I should confront him about all of this. But I can't, not today; it's too late for this conversation, so I would just have to just bring it up tomorrow.

For now, I would just pretend like it was just a wrong number and go back to the party and celebrate the impending wedding with the people I cared about. Then I started to think about my mom and dad again, and all the things we would miss out on with them gone.

_Happy New Year mom and dad, I miss you both like crazy, and I know that you would be both ecstatic and worried about Emmett getting married. _

Not to mention I wouldn't be forced to visit my grandparents all the way in Wisconsin, mainly because I knew that they wouldn't even want to see me, or even care as much. I know that that was callous for me to say, they were one of the few family I had left and I should be thankful they want to spend time with me.

I let out a long sigh and hung up the phone then slowly made my way back to the living room and saw Emmett and Rosalie cuddling on the couch with Bentley snuggled against Emmett. Jasper and Alice were in a heated debate in the loveseat over something, I think, that had to do with what colors the bridesmaids would wear and what color the groomsmen vests would be that would accent well with the dresses.

_Only Alice would take this as an opportunity to apply her fashion ideas to Rosalie's wedding. I wonder if Rose will let Alice help her plan everything. A better question would be, could Alice go along with Rose's idea without much argument._

I plopped down next to Edward and leaned my head against him. One of the best things about this man sitting next to me was that he didn't question me. He could've tried to play twenty questions as to who was on the phone, but he didn't he just snuggled in closer to me and we watched the rest of the New Year's Eve program on television.

This is what I wanted, and I didn't want anything of that to change.

**A/N: Thank you all for reading! Who else saw that coming? ;) I also want to apologize for taking so long to update. I had writer's block, not to mention I had forgotten which story I had last updated lol. So next to be updated is my story **Paralyzed** and make sure to read this story and get caught up for when I update next :)**

**Happy reading, and please review! (Constructive criticism is welcome!) :)**


	22. Sprint Break Visit

**A/N: So first I want to say thank you to all who read this story and add it to your favorites and alerts! Next, thank you to everyone who also reviews, and again, those who review guest review I can't answer your questions so please create an account so I can send you the answers you want!**

**I want to take some time and thank a few people, **divyvicki**, your reviews make me laugh and smile all at the same time. I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Next, **debslmac**, I'm glad you're loving this story!, **ttcub**, hopefully you will see why Jasper went behind her back to have her visit her grandparents, and finally, **Matthias Stormcrow**, glad you liked the previous chapter!**

**Now on to the story!**

_**Previously On Needing to Let Go**_

_I plopped down next to Edward and leaned my head against him. One of the best things about this man sitting next to me was that he didn't question me. He could've tried to play twenty questions as to who was on the phone, but he didn't he just snuggled in closer to me and we watched the rest of the New Year's Eve program on television._

_This is what I wanted, and I didn't want anything of that to change._

**Bella POV:**

"I don't care if she's our grandma Jasper; I don't want to go visit some old lady who barely wanted to visit us when mom and dad were alive! " I hated that I shouted at Jasper, but I still couldn't believe that he expected me to get on a plane in a couple hours to go visit that woman over my spring break. He knew how much mom and her didn't ever get along. She never came to visit us while mom was alive.

I wasn't used to waking up so early on a Sunday more, it was nearly five in the morning, and still dark outside. I adored sleep, and I wasn't going to be able to get any sleep until I would get on the plane. That was one of the good things I could look forward to I suppose.

"That's not true Bells, Grandma Lily used to come all the time when Emmett and I were little. She stopped coming after mom and Trevor got together. It wasn't very pretty though after that first disagreement over mom marrying Trevor, there was a big argument over little things that ended up snowballing into the mother of all arguments.

But Bella, she wants to get to know you now. Please don't let your preconceived notions of her from mom what said cloud your own feelings. Just give her a chance Bella, who knows you may actually like them, and plus it's only for one week; you'll be home before you know it."

I stormed up to my room and slammed the door shut. I wasn't anywhere near packed, and I hadn't exactly gotten around to telling my friends that I wouldn't be around the entire spring break. Hopefully they wouldn't ask too many questions. I wasn't exactly in the best spirits to have to explain how I was roped into going to Wisconsin.

I still couldn't believe how Jasper defended this woman. I've come to learn that grandma Lily didn't want to come visit us, and now I find out that I'm that exact reason. Well, maybe not directly, but it was sure felt like Lily didn't want anything to do with mom or my brothers when she got wind of mom being pregnant with me.

I mean, I still remember while growing up and occasionally asking mom and dad if I had grandparents.

"_Mommy, why does Jamie have grandparents but I don't?"_

"_Well, sweetie you do have grandparents, they just live very far away and can't always visit us when they can."_

Or better yet, when I was about ten I asked mom again about grandma:

"_Mom, if Grandma Lily doesn't come to visit us, why don't we go visit her?"_

"_Because she doesn't want to come and visit, and she doesn't want us going to visit her Bella, and just leave it at that."_

Then a few months before the accident mom got fed up with me always pestering her and dad about why Grandma Lily never came.

"_Mom, are you ever going to tell me the real reason why grandma never visits us?" _

I still remember when my mom let out a long exasperated sigh and turned her head towards me, her face was a mixture of pain and anguish. Thinking back, I could tell that whatever it was she as hiding from me was something that has haunted her ever since.

"_She doesn't want anything to do with me or you kids because she doesn't like that I married your dad and am happily married to someone else."_

Knowing the whole truth now wasn't any better than how I felt before. I was better off just thinking that Grandma Lily wanted nothing to do with mom or me. Instead I'm having conflicting feelings about what I've been told over the years, and what I've learned that New Year's eve. How was I supposed to take everything I've grown to accept and just throw it away and take what my grandma, who I haven't ever really spoken to, said as truth and go and visit her all the way in Wisconsin?

_Could I bring Edward with me?_

_Yeah right Bella; your grandma would have a cow if she saw you with your boyfriend._

Wait, did I really consider Edward my boyfriend? I mean I know we've been on a few dates, and we've spent a lot of time together, but it didn't occur to me until just now that he is actually my first real official boyfriend.

And as if on cue I heard a car coming up the gravel driveway. I peeked out the window and sure enough I saw headlights coming towards the house that was from Edward's Volvo. I couldn't only guess that either Jasper and Emmett told him, or Alice blabbed to him that I was going away for spring break. I didn't wait a second longer before I rushed down the stairs and out to the car and attacked Edward with a hug. I'm not sure what came over me but I just broke down and started crying right on the spot.

Sensing that something was up, Edward immediately started comforting and whispering that everything would be just fine. In between my sobs I explained how I was going to go visit grandparents in another state.

"Well that's perfectly ok love; I'll still be here when you get back. I'm not going anywhere."

I slowly allowed myself to start to relax a bit. I wiped my tears away as I guided Edward up to my room, remembering Emmett's I kept my door wide open.

"I'm sorry I'm such an emotional mess Edward, I just really don't want to go visit my grandmother. Long story short, her and my mom never was really on the best of terms." I softly spoke as I packed away two pairs of jeans and a couple of sweaters. I packed my laptop as well, but I wasn't even sure if Grandma Lily and Grandpa Frank had wi-fi, or even knew what that was. Who cares, I want something that I could use as an escape if this whole trip turned out to be a complete bust.

"Promise me one thing Bella." Edward said as he caught my wrist, forcing me to make eye contact with him. I couldn't get over at how green his eyes were. I nodded my head without a single word. I was finding this whole subject a bit too exhausting. "Promise me that while you're all the way up in Wisconsin that you won't forget about me and fall in love with some cheese farmer." I couldn't help but laugh at his outrageous promise. Was he so delusional that he would even entertain the thought of me having feelings for someone other than him?

"Edward, you have my word that I will not fall in love with a cheese farmer." I said with a playful smirk on my face. I couldn't help it, was he serious that he thought I would fall that quickly out of love with him in a week? He had to be if he seriously considered this as a plausible situation.

"Well, that is very good to know Bella." Edward said as he slowly rose from his seat on the edge of my bed and gradually walked over to me. I couldn't help but let out a soft gasp when I realized just how close he was to me. Our lips were tantalizingly close to one another's and as I tried to lean in to initiate the kiss, he pulled away from me.

"Not yet…" he said softly; making sure to not break the distance between us. "Bella, you do realize that you will go for entire week, and I want to leave you with something that will solidify our relationship. Please, please don't rush this; I want it as intimate as can be for us." Edward said in barely a whisper. His lips grazed against my own. It took all I had to comply to his wishes and not attack his lips with mine. Then Edward was making it even harder to stay still. His lips were tracing my lips while his hands were caressing either side of my face. It was a good thing too, because I don't think I would've been able to stand on my own two feet as he continued to gently kiss my lips. Finally, as if his resolve had broken, his body crashed into mine and I felt his fingers rake through my hair. I couldn't help but groan when I felt him latch onto a portion of my hair. I hadn't even realized I had a good hold on Edward's hair until I heard him growl with excitement.

All that could be heard were the both of us gasping for air while we were under the spell of the most passionate, most fiery kiss I have ever had.

"Uh, excuse me, but Bella, you need to get going if you're going to make your flight on time." Jasper said as he stood there. We quickly untangled ourselves and I reached for my suitcase without as much as a word to either man standing in the room. I managed to squeak out an _'excuse me'_ as I brushed past Jasper and quickly ran down the stairs and out to the waiting pickup truck. I felt my cheeks start to redden as I started to realize that I had kissed Edward in my room and in front of my brother no less. What was weird though was that I wasn't embarrassed that Jasper caught me, but that I was upset that I had to leave him along with my group of friends behind for a whole week.

Had what all Edward said been true? Does he really love me, and will he really be waiting for me when I come back?

Minutes later Emmett came out with his car keys in his hand. He started up the engine and thankfully turned on the radio, less chance of me kissing Edward to come up. It was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now. But it seemed like the cosmic beings were still wanting to get a good laugh in because _'How Deep Is Your Love'_ came on the radio, and I couldn't help but hum along and think about how this somewhat applied to my current situation.

Before I knew it we arrived at the airport. We parked in the drop off lane and Emmett helped me get my things out of the back of the truck.

"You sure you're going to be ok? I mean, I know you don't really want to go. To be honest I didn't know about this until a few days ago. Jazz just wants what's best for you, and he wouldn't have agreed to have you go visit if he thought something was up. Plus I've been told by Rosalie that you need to bring back as much cheddar cheese as possible. Apparently that woman loves it as much as chocolate." I let out a sigh and hugged my big brother tight.

I knew I wasn't saying goodbye it was just a 'see you soon', but I still hated to be away from them. They've taken care of me ever since mom and dad died, and I feel like I'm abandoning them.

"Relax Bells, we'll be just fine without you, and you're lucky in that you won't have to put up with bridezilla and bridesmaidzilla." I had almost forgotten that this was the week that Alice and Rosalie would go shopping for wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, and other wedding associated things. I guess that was one of the few perks to this trip I could look forward to.

After a few more hugs I quickly rushed inside the airport terminal and searched the flight board and saw that my one way flight would have a stop in Memphis, then I would end up in Milwaukee. So, so much for a direct flight, I guess they don't always make it that simple to get to and from one place. I guess I shouldn't complain; my grandma was springing for my plane ticket for both ways.

After the intense security checks and I managed to get pulled out of line for one of the 'thorough' checks, I asked for directions to where I needed to be to get on the right flight. That's when I finally found my designated gate. I checked in with the woman standing behind the podium. She seemed to be halfway interested in her job. I glanced at her nametag and it read, I think, _Jessica_. She seemed fairly attractive, but I could tell that she desperately wanted to be somewhere else. I knew the feeling, I hated that I had to go, but I decided to take Emmett's advice and make the most of it.

Maybe he's right, and I will actually have a decent time.

"_Now Boarding Delta 4602, attention now boarding flight Delta 4602."_

I quickly grabbed my purse and slowly made my way into the single file line leading to the plane.

This was it. I was actually going to go visit the woman I have been told hated me, hated my mom, and hated dad. As I thought about it the more I was starting to actually grow curious if this woman lived up to her reputation or not.

I guess would find out five hours from now.

**A/N: So what do you think? I will say this, the next chapter will be in Edward's POV ;) and that it'll start from where he is left in Bella's room and go through the whole spring break week. There will also be something that you may or may not see coming.**

**Also, what do you think will happen while Bella is visiting her grandparents in Wisconsin? I have a few ideas and one in particular, and if you guess right I will let you know in a review reply ;) So just stay tuned and in the meantime go read my other story **Paralyzed**!**

**Happy Reading! 3**


End file.
